Let me be your Leader

Let me be your Leader ©

By Michael Casey

Lots of Leadership needed everywhere at the moment so here’s a few tips for all candidates. They can rehearse in front of a mirror.

I Want to serve, to be a humble servant, I have studied the Ides of March, some say too thoroughly. I have much experience of handling dough, my grandfather was a Baker, Hilda Baker was his drag act at the weekends, but otherwise he was all man, as his many mistresses can testify, I suppose that’s where I got it from, the dough not the mistresses, I am an honourable man, well I have not been found out yet.

Policies, what policies? I’ll have a read of the gutter press and the high and mighty and maybe a bit of the BBC or even Fox. Give me a few ideas about what the people, my people, our people, the stupid people, yes I love them too not just that man with the blonde hair, the American guy, Hunt, or something rhyming with Stunt, stupid people must be listened to, they vote more than most. Rich people are in the South of France so why chase them if they don’t bother to vote.

So I’ll rehearse my speech not like my competitor, who just cannot talk, he may have been a prefect in his grammar school, but really he is worse than the illiterate drunk we see at my political meetings, he only comes for the sandwiches and 7 teas.

So I’ll go around and tell my lies and hope my lies are fatter than the other person’s lies, so long as I can act just like that old Leader, the very successful one, whose name I cannot remember, but he was so good, whatever his name was.

Then we’ll have the ballot, and of course I’ll win, and if I don’t I’ll leave politics and become a political commentator and do the chat so circuit, it pays twice what I’d get in politics, just make sure never to tell the truth in the green room when I’m ½ pissed. So All in All or is it Measure for Alcoholic Measure, I’ll win or just be richer as a political hack.  It’s all a load of Ballots anyway.