Big Business Small Beginnings

Big Business Small Beginnings ©

By  Michael Casey

Just before I finished with ACNielsen my friend did the tarot for a bit of fun, we had just eaten fish and chips in the rest room next to my computer room. Yes we were in England, Birmingham to be exact, overlooking the Chinese Quarter.

So not putting chippy fingers on her cards I pick some out. Every card had money on it.  My next jobs over the next ten years all had money connections, but sadly none went in my pocket.

ACNielsen is of course business analysis, I then went to Insurance, Finance office, CPNEC business hotel, Life Insurance, Law Firm, Esol English. All of which make money, lots of money for the company.

The guests at CPNEC were really nice people, all self-made, the Law firm was really nice too. Esol English made money for the company, I enjoyed my chance as a teacher.

So how about making some money for myself, or rather for my own family. When the tarot was done I hadn’t met my Shanghai  wife. Marriage means spending money, but in return I live with 3 girls, all of whom speak Chinese, me I’m the token male and English speaker in the house.

So how can I provide for my growing family? Well I am a writer, I do indeed have 6 books on Amazon Kindle, follow links at bottom of page. However writing is a strange product, nobody ever makes any money out of it, not unless you are JKR or JRRK.

So you have to plug at it, the selling not the writing, writing is easy, making a living or money out of it is hard. I read the news and see how Billionaires made their first buck. The guy with the photo website was in the newspaper today, his idea was so simple, take “boring” photos and sell them.

I once applied for a job where I’d be looking at boring photos of  advertising billboards, why, to make sure the paid adverts had gone up in the right place, to prove the job was done. I did not get that job, so hello to them if they stumble over this.

I once applied for a greetings card writer job, I did not get that either, so hello to them too. AS you can all see I’m not brief enough, for that job. My shorts can be short and they can be longer, but I hope always worth a read.

At the moment I’m waiting to see if a script of mine is going to be made into a film, and to see if my shorts are going to be used on the radio as a 90seconds with Michael Casey segment.

Some radio stations, the majority, are very linear,  the listeners won’t understand the concept, if you wean them away from the breast milk of pop the listeners will switch off or change over. 

You can have both, “she can’t sing, she can’t dance, but she walks like Riana” then hit the button and hear my voice reading one of my shorts. Trust the listener, Richard Allison and Bob Harris are great broadcasters for a reason.

Making money is what the Americans are always good it, England has the ideas and then America buys the idea cheap and gets rich from it. Always seems to be the case.

So what is you have a great book, full of incident and action, but getting a push behind the book is so hard. You rebrand it, as Rupert Murdoch does with his film channels over his empire.

So what can you do with your book? You do things in reverse, you sell it or part of it as a film. Then as the games market is a billion dollar industry, you sell the concept of your book as a game. You will have to persuade the games people to make the book into a game, that can be hard but if you say if it’s good enough for a film it should fly as a game. Then at least they will pause for thought. I should add that friends from my computer room days did in fact  create a game and got £10,000 for it 20 years ago.

Now Hasbro makes games galore and they have just tied up with a video games company. Now Hasbro makes board games and my book The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker can be a board game, to stop people getting bored on wet summers days. You have to have faith in yourself and your product. My product being my writing.

Yesterday on the Dragon’s Den, which is where people ask millionaire backers to support them, we saw a variety of people pitch their idea. Pitching your idea is key, I had to write a one page pitch for this film. Perhaps I can use the same pitch for video and board games. Merchandising is very profitable, look at Disney, need I saw more. Now read the following poem of mine.

Let There Be Light ©

By Michael Casey

Let my tears be my words

Let the candle light be my eyes

Let the flowers in bloom be my lips

Let their scent be my blood

Let the wind be my breath

Let clouds be my mood

Let children’s laughter be my hope

Let widows’ sighs be my conscience

Let a stranger’s prayers be my delight

Let the bees be my wisdom

Let the trees be my strength

Let my patience reach to the stars

Let me be always remembered in your prayers

Now this is a beautiful poem, result of 3 years daily visits to Saint Phillip’s cathedral, on my lunch break from a Law Firm. Now I feel this is good enough for radio, but is the breast milk of pop the only thing The Hits should feature?

I think the poem could be on Tee Shirts, on tea towels and so on, or should it only be read in church? It is of course my copyright. So how do I pitch that idea, how will I ever get a chance? Perhaps if the lift breaks down and the Dragons from the Dragons Den have to spend a fruitful hour with me.

What about words, my 3 books of shorts or blogs if you like. Can they only be sold as a coffee table book for dentists’ and doctors’ waiting rooms. Or can I record them to a data base and people can dip in and hear them, then buy them on iTunes and so on. And then it’ll be “he can’t sing, he can’t dance, but he walks like a concierge.”  And then all radio will clamour for my shorts.

So all of this is about marketing, it’s about how you can sell what you have written. They say the first million is the hardest to earn, then after that the money flows in.

I have yet to find this out, I have yet to earn the first penny, I just hope it happens in this life. Then me and my 3 girls can have a big house and a cat for the girls and a dog called Subway for me.

www.michaelgcasey.wordpress.com

email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

 http://www.amazon.com/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_54?qid=1373557050&sr=1-54

Sleepover(c) by Michael Casey

Sleepover©

By

Michael Casey

Sleepover is exactly that, your sleep is over, you have laughing kids invading your house, and driving you out of your minds. Well not always, but it is very distracting. You can’t remember what you were doing and where has that file gone on the computer. This is the 2^nd time I’m telling this story, why, because my Word, or upon my word, the story died or rather Word did not close properly, so now you’re getting something different.

Total strangers, or strangers to you arrive at the house and kind of invade it for a night. You do shout up the stairs, keep them out of my room. Not because you have anything worth stealing, but they are stealing your privacy, and that’s all you have left if you have daughters in your house.

Then the smell of nail varnish drifts down the stairs and permeates everywhere, its worse than mustard gas from the Great War. You scream up the stairs, open all the windows fully, what about your room, dad? Especially mine.

Its then that your inner sanctum is breached as they bring their friends to help them open the window. They see the Teddy Bear that you’ve had since you were 6 years old, the invader laughs. She also sees the deep heat by your bed, And he complains about nail varnish.

Dinner time arrives and you have to feed the cuckoo, only she doesn’t eat this or she doesn’t eat that, on principle. So you say, you’ll have to stave then. Your daughter, the host, is horrified, so you relent and flick a pound coin at them, cholesterol free oil used to make the chips. So a compromise is achieved.

You put Sky Sports on to watch the match, they say Qatar is going to build underground stadia, novel idea. You are settling down to see Rooney when they arrive back chip laden. Her friend just loves the ballet and Sky Arts has Bolshoi on, so could they please please watch that. You say you’ll record it for them. But you are as bad as a puppy murderer even for suggesting it.

So being a nice dad you let them watch the ballet on your 46inch tv, while you retreat to watch the match on the laptop upstairs. They never tell you about this at parenting classes, just how to change nappies. Let’s hope William and Kate are told.

After the ballet they retreat upstairs for girlie music, and what were you doing in their room on the laptop. Didn’t you know you are just a dad not allowed in the inner sanctum. The Hits is switched on  their dab radio at volume 13, you retreat to watch the after match talk on the big screen.

Later its bath time, so you have to wait 2 hours for all the girls in your house, including the cuckoo, to pollute the bathroom before you a mere dad, and bill payer, can have a shave. Only your last razor has been used to save somebody’s legs.

So everybody goes to bed, all is well, holding your teddy bear, you sleep soundly. Until 3am, when a banshee screaming wakes you, your wife and all the neighbours. It’s the cuckoo, she’s having a nightmare, it must be the chips, and the cholesterol free oil from them. Or half waking up and forgetting where she was.

So remembering to put on your dressing gown you have to calm everybody down, and answer the door, to the police, as the neighbour from neighbourhood watch has rung them. So the police come in and have a look. Flatulence is written down in the Police note book. As you let the police out the house again your smallest daughter hands you your teddy bear, its ok dad, it’s only a sleepover.

The Secret Admirer

The Secret Admirer ©

By

Michael Casey

I have been using FaceBook in an attempt to interest people in my writing. A bit of self-publicity, Americans are so much better at it than us here in England.

At one of my jobs I did indeed have a secret admirer, I only found out when one of the lads told me, just as I was leaving the company. It’s a strange experience, the girl in question was a very nice person, however not the kind of girl I’d want as an admirer.

Personality is strange,  some may like you whereas others can’t bear to be in the same room as you. I think I was perfect in my concierge days because I could entertain while people were waiting for their business partner. Then I’d disappear like morning Scot’s mist.

The best guests were Northerners, “Hello Michael, give us a kiss, show us the photos” one regular used to say and I’d show her the latest snaps of my infant daughters. Yes I was a dotting dad. The best professional compliment was “You’re as good as the Concierge at the Dorchester.”

So that’s getting on with guests at CPNEC, it was a great place to work at. So I had a few admirers, for my work, for my professionalism.

Imagine though somebody is watching you, now that’s a bit creepy. Can somebody be stalking me.  Imagine somebody has pictures of me on their wall. It may be with targets on so they can punch me   because they hate my writing. Or they are fed up of their girlfriend saying “he’s a lovely writer.”

Actually this happened once, Claire was laughing in her bedroom. Her dad asked from outside the door, “what’s so funny?” “Oh its Michael dad he’s making me laugh, he really tickles my fancy.” “What?” asks her shocked dad reaching for his baseball bat. “It’s Michael Casey from work.” “What?” asks her dad as he tightens his grip on the baseball bat. “I’m reading Michael’s book, The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker” Dad is relieved and goes to bed.

So you could say Claire was an admirer, now she was a really nice girl, she admired my writing. Now she works at the big W.

In USA admirers will go to the barbers and pay for your hair from the barbers. So would my soft white dandruff hair be a relic. Yuck.

It must be nice to have fans who get what you are writing, who understand the insider jokes, who get the parallel lines of the story. Though I would not want Kathy Bates as a fan as in that film with James Caan. That kind of fan would be really scary.

Another fan would correct all your “mistakes” telling you/me how such and such should be spelt. How it wasn’t then but then, your dates are wrong. So what would I say.  “ITS FICTION” there are no facts to check, its fiction after all.

Imagine long long letters correcting you, then attacking you. I’d just reply “Go write your own book” Writing is a very personal thing, I write for myself and hope readers like my world view. It’s not compulsory to like the story or the style of writing. But it’s great when people like both.

Fans think they are friends, real friends, or family even. They can send presents to you. If anybody wants to send me a Cartier diamond bleu watch, feel free. Sadly you cannot send a house in the post…

So would it be nice to have millions of secret admirers? I’d love to have 1% of the readers Jeffery Archer has. Being recognised for a skill is a great thing, be it as a carpenter, or a plumber,  or a musician. When you achieve this all of your admirers come out of the shadows and buy your books, or recommend you as a plumber or a carpenter. Remember  Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

I just saw Wall Street:Money Never Sleeps, on Film4, its a really good film. Michael Douglass is very good. The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil. The film is also a love story between his daughter and the boy wonder so to speak. Its also about the realisation by Gordon Geko that Family is all. It is indeed Priceless. We have Bill Gates using his wealth to keep the Human Family free from Polio, this is a wonderful thing, and I know is heaping up rewards in Heaven. Now Cancer is a terrible thing, it takes away those we love with all our heart. Let me die, but save them is often said in this terrible terrible situation. So I think the next big act of Humanity is to nail Cancer, we all take Cancer personally, it kills OUR love ones. So if there are any Billionaires out there why not invest £10,000,000,000 , thats ten billion pounds into Cancer research. You could create a world centre, even here in the UK and then with satelite centres world wide. £10,000,000,000 can do a lot of damage to Cancer, we can start stabbing Cancer in the heart, just as it does when it takes our loved ones away. So let somebody somewhere follow Bill Gates example, and donate to Cancer research. If only we could get a billion  pound club going. 10 billionaires giving a billion pounds each. They say its harder to get a camel through the eye of a needle than to get a rich man into Heaven. Well I disagree, use wealth to save lives and kill Cancer. Then when these billionaires die, as we all do, then my mum will be waiting for them in Heaven with a cup of tea waiting for them. Now that's all I can offer in exchange for ten billion pounds invested into Cancer research.

Role Play(c) by Michael Casey

Role Play ©

By Michael Casey

I was just talking to a FB friend and as ever I had an idea after I was talking to him. So I’m going to share it with you. Now how many of you have done Role Play while on training courses?

It can be very daunting, embarrassing even, like being asked to strip in the class room, or in the middle of the sports field. I hurry to say that’s NOT what I want any of you to do.

I’ve done a bit of role play on training courses, and remember as a writer I’ve written a play or two. But there through  my words others are doing the stripping in public. They are the actors, I’m the writer/director.

I’ve been on training courses to help company moral by binding the staff together. To teach customer service, to teach my students a few lessons in life, even to learn how to be a bookie.

So when I became an Esol teacher I had a variety of experience, I’d done all kinds of everything. I boasted I’d written a book, now I have 6 to my name. So how do you use words?

Well I’m a firm believer in making lessons fun, though I do have to say you have to balance it so the students don’t think that learning is a joke, or that you are just a clown. You have to get the balance right. It’s like pushing a swing, gentle pushes at first then gradually you get the big swing. You do have to make sure you don’t push so hard that your wife/girlfriend/children go flying into space or get wrapped around the swing structure.

You need a lesson play, well you should have one, if you are very clever a flow chart will do. Now say for 15 mins you tell the students they are going to pretend to be Harry, William and Kate, with the class pretending to be baby George gurgling in the background. So the students put on their best posh accents and talk about babies, and car seats and all kind of everything.

During this you the teacher write any vocabulary on the white board. So the students have fun learning to speak clear English. Then the class can discuss the role play, and any associated vocabulary. Now I’ve chosen the Royals as they are very topical at the moment.

Wayne Rooney would make a great role play, him and the Special One, the Chelsea manager with the Man U manager too. So the role play would be the 3 of them having a coffee in StarBucks to decide Wayne’s future. This would be a fun activity, with vocabulary being added to the white board, you could also suggest vocabulary as the role play continues. I imagine, numbers very  high numbers would be involved. £35,000,000 would be one of the numbers.

Role play for the girls in class could revolve around picking a Wedding dress, and/or organising a full celebration. Everything down to the cake and disco and whatever. Word appropriate language would be learnt.

Remember they are learning English as a 2^nd language. Hopefully once they have learnt English they’ll visit and come and spend some money in England. Certainly Chinese students will go to Bister Village and buy 4 LV bags each, I am told they are too expensive in Shanghai.

As a teacher sometimes you need to teach something that can only be done via role play. I wrote a role play for our students about time keeping. I got the 3 other teachers to perform it. I pretended it would just be me teaching that session to the 120 students. Then one by one the other teachers arrived and started to disrupt the lesson. I have to admit I started to laugh like a nervous girl.

After a couple of minutes the students realised what was going on. We proceeded with the role play. Say twenty minutes later I stopped, then we divided into our groups then you talk about the role play. A simple thing but it works. As for the 10 people the lesson was really aimed at, they missed it, they had arrived late.

I also wrote a role play about interviews and interview technique, so the students would have an idea of how you do it in England. So I was the interviewer, and the 3 other teachers were the good, the bad and the ugly candidates. Now for some who have never had an interview in their life this is a great role play. It informs and they learn some vocabulary by watching it and during the discussion afterwards.

You have the perfect candidate, in a suit and on time. You have the average candidate, and then you have the guy who should have stayed in bed. The last guy looked like he has been in bed with his clothes on. The teacher had his shirt hanging out and was wearing a baseball cap. I could explain all this in detail, but I’ll leave that for another time.

Once the teachers had their interviews I interviewed a few of the students, while the 120 looked on. Now this is play learning if you like. My own play Shoplife as well as being a very funny play, could also be turned on its head to teach Customer Service on a Laugh and Learn basis. With English Language students you can teach through laughter. I am  available  if any training company wants to use my skills.

There is a balance that has to be maintained between all fun and no work, and all work and no fun. I think I got it right in my teaching days. Hopefully my playwright days are beckoning, for the role as writer is my best stage.

Wear and Tear by Michael Casey

Wear and Tear ©

By

Michael Casey

Its 2^nd August we’ve had a heat wave here in Birmingham and the rest of UK. So folks have being going around in  their Summer gear, sandals and shorts for men and women alike. Acres of flesh exposed, and lots of it you’d wish WAS covered up.

The thing about Summer is that as people try to look their best, the wear and tear on their bodies is exposed. The grey hairs announced to the world with shirts unbuttoned, 3 or even 4 buttons undone to feel the breeze on a hot Summer’s day. Silly sunglasses are everywhere, fake Ray-Bans multiplying in the sun.

Mum’s embarrassing their children as they wear sarongs in Aldi, it may be ok for Beckham, but why does mum have to show us up. Varicose veins on display, it’s too hot for tights, mum’s legs look like a map of rivers.

Grandpa is outside sitting on a bench, he hasn’t got the energy to walk around Aldi. He sits enjoying an ice cream, really loving it, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his toes sticking out of hippy style sandals . He is wearing belt and braces, half his shirt in and half his shirt out. He belches and farts as he finishes his ice cream. He shuffles up on the bench and tells you to sit beside him. You love him so you do, but making sure you hold your breath. Then he takes out his false teeth to suck them clean, before taking out a used hanky to wipe the sweat on his bald patch.

Children pretending to be girls pretending to be women strut past. Badly applied make-up smudged as they smoke a cigarette as they talk loudly about what they did with their boyfriend last night.

Traffic wardens sweat as they prowl about looking for victims, everybody is united in their hatred of traffic wardens. Summer, Winter or Fall as the Americans say, nobody loves a traffic warden.

People glow in the sun, too much sun worshipping, and not enough sun cream. Kids moan, why can’t they have some more sweets, “do you think, I’m made of money” snaps and slaps mums as they push a buggy loaded with shopping. Children sulk and curse under their breath, “wait till I get you home” threaten mums.

So a normal Summer’s day here in Birmingham and probably anyplace anywhere. So much wear and tear of mind and spirit. A house can be repainted, a new gutter here, a garden weeded there. It’s relatively easy, if you have a few quid to buy paint and a few odds and ends. Then your kids draw everywhere with chalk on the patio or should I say yard, and then kids chalk the walls too.

What about wear and tear on the soul? How can you erase that? Well you can start by being quiet, barricade the house so the kids cannot get in your room. Put your Barry Manilow on, other music is available too. Then lie on your bed and dream, dream what it would be like NOT to have kids or grandpa sitting in the street sucking his false teeth. Dream that you don’t have varicose veins, dream that your husband is 4 stones lighter.

Yes dreaming does take the edge off wear and tear of the spirit. I would say pray too, but in England I bet most people only pray when the lottery is being drawn. But if you play Barry Manilow loud enough you can  imagine you are on the Copa Cabana.