Japan, sit under a tree, a cherry blossom tree and read me
Face mask required maybe
Mary Queen of the Universe
Short stories from Birmingham readers in 162 countries so far HEAR ME READ ALOUD 207 stories written & read by me https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey https://michaelgcasey.typepad.com/blog/
Saturday, 6 April 2024
The Confidence Booster somebody was just reading this, it made me cry and laugh as my Tinnitus SCREAMS
mainly comic stories from Birmingham read in 162 countries so far PODAST TOO https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR
Sunday 28 March 2021
The Confidence Booster
The Confidence Booster ©
By Michael Casey
Sue was a timid girl, she wouldn’t say excuse me to anybody, just mutter silently to herself. So, she’d take forever to get through the queue in the canteen, so she always got the slops. Now Doreen on the counter who doled out the dinners noticed this and felt sorry for her. Poor little white girl so pale, she needed to eat more food and then she could study harder at the school library. So, Doreen decided she’d look after this little chick, it was her duty as a God fearing women, and Pastor John always said we should love one another. So, Doreen smiled to herself, thy Lord’s Will be done, Amen to that. Now how could she help Sue, she was just a dinner lady. Yes, she was just a dinner lady, but she had a voice, and she knew how to use it.
You, yes you, I’m looking at you, she sung make way for Sue, or you’ll never know what I’ll do. Now Doreen was in a Pentecostal choir and she knew how to sing, bring her up to the table and I’ll feed her, we ain’t got five loaves and two fishes but some very nice dishes. And on Doreen sung, as Sue passed through the queue, nobody complained, for this was like Adele singing, but obviously better, Doreen was a very big church lady after all. Amen, amen to that. So, Sue got served first, the last shall be first and the first shall be last, Doreen said Amen to that. It became a thing, Doreen big black and very beautiful sung, and Sue skipped through the dinner queue.
Now having a warming dinner in your belly is good if you want to study, and Sue was far happier and her confidence grew. Doreen smiled, she had almost adopted the child, but that was not enough. The school, the Benes School was a place of great learning, but Doreen thought it only right she did a but of social engineering, ok , friend making, any matchmaking they could do for themselves after that. So, Gloria her friend on the cleaning crew went on a mission, scout out a nice boy who’d help Sue with her studying. So obviously Gloria picked the Librarian, because he’d know where all the best books were. Yes, he was a little older, and much taller, but he seemed nice, his bin was never overflowing, and he did say please and thank you to the Cleaning Crew. So that was that.
Gloria was tasked to get him to the dining hall, and that’s what she did, she said she needed a big strong man to help her carry things. So, Larry the Librarian was roped in, Gloria had lied, being a cleaner for many years meant she was so strong. Besides her man, Manuel was a judo martial arts teacher, so she had plenty of practice at throwing things about, but not many people knew that. Where was I, yes, Larry arrived at the dining hall. Sue was there already. Doreen looked and Gloria looked back, then they started.
Hey girl, do you want some of my cherry pie, sung Doreen. Gloria replied, you mean me girl. NO, not you you’ve eaten a pie too many, I mean Sue, my child, come here and have some cherry pie, on sung Doreen. Larry laughed as Doreen and Gloria sung back and forth a tale of pies with cherries on top. Sue noticed his laugh, and his sparkling eyes. Gloria was right, he was the right boy for Sue, and in the future he’d say I do. Doreen sparkled, she sung Amen to that. Larry was lead to the counter by Gloria, a pie thrust in his hand. Was this a High School Musical. No, this was Old Forge and Singing Anvil in England, the Benes schools for higher learning.
Gloria and Doreen found a spare pie and shared it, as the canteen audience applauded, the staff were great here, and the teachers weren’t not so bad either. Now I could go on, but Gloria and Doreen have to go to church it is a Sunday after all, Palm Sunday. So prepare we the way of the Lord, and your own confidence will grow.
**** I had a different idea in my head but this one came out. Some of the nicest people I have ever met have been cleaners and crew of all sorts, I've worked strange hours, hence I meet more of them. I know clever people too, before I forget hello to the crews at CPNEC Birmingham, though they will have all moved on, perhaps Vicky is in Hacienda?
A quick thanks to PAKISTAN for my new socks that keep me so warm
A quick thanks to PAKISTAN for my new socks that keep me so warm
I need to look after myself, and sat here I get cold easily, so socks were needed
ESO SI QUE ES. s o c k s which was in my Spanish book 50 years ago
a guy didn’t know the words and in the end he got what he wanted, SOCKS
ESO SI QUE ES s o c k s. means That’s it, that’s what he wanted
So you get a story about my socks
he’s my book The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
hope you like it
Some of you I taught Esol English to years ago
Forget Me, Remember the English as I said to one Indian student
His sister lives near where I used to live
So hello to him too, and another big hug from me to him
Stay Happy Always
so my Students do you recognise me, or still remember me
or am I such a bad memory?
https://butcherbakerundertaker.blogspot.com
Friday, 5 April 2024
somebody was reading this, it made me laugh so I'm bringing it back
White Water Rafting, thats what Tinnitus is
it never ends and as it peaks for 3 hours when I finally awake
yes as scary as that, but 10 times WORSE
so the embers are with me
and Google on one site fenced the previous post
though the exact same post on 2 sites they left alone
SO THEIR AI IS RUBBISH
or somebody complains for no reason
they have done the same trick a few times in the past
NOW they hide behind a noreply email
Big Brother gone mad
anyway
here's an old story somebody was reading
it made me laugh so here it is again
Hong Kong has leapt up the readers chart
but they won't catch Singapore
though they might overtake USA on some sites
and breath down Singapores neck
which may be a courtship thing
we'll find out out in 9 months time
Can I be a Godfather?
I'm fatter than Brando after all
and my name is Michael
Saturday 4 September 2021
Fr. Dan's Altar Boy 1st half
Father Dan’s Altar Boy ©
By
Michael Casey
Now if you’ve been on my page before then you’ll know about Fr.Dan, what you cannot remember? Well in Tears for a Butcher which I’ve only produced stray fragments for, he’s in that, and well just go hunt on my Blogger and Wordpress. Are you so lazy, I have to write and wipe your backside for you? Mrs Murphy would hit you with the wet mop, straight out the mob bucket. Just as my own mother, Mrs Casey threatened, I’m laughing now and I’m sure so is she in her position in Heaven making the tea.
So you know Father Dan was the softest of all men, a good priest too, but underneath he was an Iron Fist in a velvet glove, and those drug dealers who nearly killed Big Sid the butcher would be finding out soon. Now find Tears for a Butcher if you want any more. But how did such a Holy Man develop into an Iron Fist. Well it started when his altar boy got thrown off a cliff, as in, a leg and a wing, and a throw, and that was that. He should have died. Stone dead, but his belt got caught on a root and it saved him from death. Though he would have died there, as he was all bust and broken, but a stubborn young priest saved him.
The Altar Boy was a very bad man, a dirty son of a who er, if you know the Irish pronunciation of Whore. He dabbled in everything, just like in that Taiwan film Man in Love, but the altar boy was far far worse. No nice music surrounding him like in that film. So the altar boy got his just rewards, he got chased by other gangsters and they were determined to catch him, kill him. So after a big fight, and it was monumental, 10 to one are bad odds for anybody, knives and guns included. The altar boy was battered until nearly dead, then grabbing his legs and arms and by his belt he was thrown off a cliff. DEAD.
Now where this was I cannot remember though it was in the East, where gambling is king, and that reminds me its 20,000,000 tonight but I’m so full of snot, so shall I tell you this story or waste 2 quid on a ticket. Ok, I’ll carry on, but first I must go to the toilet or do you want me to wet myself? The altar boy did wet himself, when you are shot you pee, go ask a trauma doctor, and if you are a naughty boy just STOP. Become an altar boy, now read on why.
Fr. Dan was big but weedy and scared when he saw what was happening he hid, and so would I, ten men killing one. Fr. Dan was not long out of the seminary which means school for priests if you think its some other meaning. So, he hid under his excuse for a church, battered bits of wood held together by spit and wood, and great singing. Did I tell you he had started a choir? Feeling guilty he went to the edge of a cliff and decided to say the prayers for the dead. He was amazed to see the gangster was not dead, just half dead and bleeding. So he climbed down to see what he could do. Suddenly brave enough to say a prayer for the dying, he been reading The Cardinal recently. The gangsters eyes flickered, soon he’d be dead if he was left there. So Fr. Dan blessed him, then blessed himself, Lord forgive me for being such a coward, he even shed a tear, tear for the dying. So Fr. Dan climbed back up. He’d need a rope and some help, but nobody was there, would you hang around with such violence?
Fr. Dan closed his eyes, and prayed, God will provide, when he opened his eyes a donkey was there, the gun shots had frightened it and it had broken its rope. My own uncle Patrick back in Cromane Lower Kerry, used to have a donkey too, which was a mobile lawn mower for around the house, no I’m not joking, go ask my cousin’s son, Patrick’s grandson. But I’ll get back to the story, so Fr. Dan went over the cliff again, this time attached to the end of the donkey’s rope, he tied it around the gangster’s belt and hauled him up. The cliff was very dangerous, just like at the back of my Aunty Mary’s house in Ballyheigh Kerry, she being Patrick’s sister, and she loved stories too.
So once the gangster was safely on solid ground, Fr. Dan put him over the donkey’s back and carried him away. So, Fr. Dan had saved him, now he had to nurse him, bullet holes and all that. Fr. Dan hid the gangster in the cellar under the church, just where he had him himself. Then looking at an old copy of Readers Digest he took two bullets out, and nursed him. All this was done in secret, or the gangsters “friends” would have come back to kill him, and Fr. Dan too.
Fr. Dan named him Sylvester after Rambo in that film Ciffhanger where he falls off a cliff, he’d seen it on plane on the way to the missions. So, it seemed appropriate, as the gangster did fall off a cliff, or rather was thrown. Now God works in mysterious ways, I speak from Experience.
And Fr. Dan knows it too, as he nursed Sylvester his Faith went into him, and Sylvester’s courage and inner strength went into him. Fr. Dan had a convert on his hands, stuck under a church with only a Bible and Hymn books to read, with Mass and prayers and choir above. Sylvester had been drip fed Faith. Fr. Dan grew stronger, as he had to move Sylvester about and hide him in the cellar for months. Sylvester said he’d repay him he owed him his life. So yes you’ve guessed it, Sylvester taught Fr. Dan how to Fly as Korean martial arts people say.
TO BE CONTINUED
Thursday, 4 April 2024
4745
4745
thats the number of pieces on this my main site
Trump continues to alarm
The world is in turmoil
So Pray Hope Don't Worry as Padre Pio used to say
because you can vote to keep Trump and his ilk out
Life is far from Perfect
and nobody actually stops to think
THINKING
yes THINKING
in USA its always Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions
which was a Mad Magazine book I read in the 1960s
Full of cartoons
maybe the only book Trump read in his life as it was
full of cartoons
He could use a Sharpie on it
while somebody else wrote his papers
or is that something somebody said
My Tinnitus would give me world records
I wish it was kidnapped and throw away
Tinnitus does sound like a Gay Roman lover
but its just an annoying terrible noise
that stops you from sleeping or even thinking
And if you don't like the reference to gay roman lover
Then you have zero sense of humour
and should not be reading anything of mine, ever
I'd rather it were Titania and you can make your own
jokes up about that
and if your name is Titania
see humour or lack of it, in seconds
I'm judging you my readers
don't judge you, or you'll have a complex
EXAMPLE
40 years ago Rich's dad died
the lads in the computer room did not know what to say
So I said he looked like one of the Rice Chrispy Kids
Snap Crackle Pop, because Rich was wearing a
neckachief
It broke the ice, and all was well
SO
if you don't understand that
you really are as stupid as Trump
GIVE a HUG
when a hug is needed
don't be too afraid to say anyway
Life must go on
I heard a great story about a funeral
a family we know
The family was on holiday in Spain
a mugger tried to steal a handbag
he got battered badly by the old lady
HE went to hospital
She was arrested and spent a night in Jail
God Rest her Soul
time for dinner now
I am really sorry I cannot write more Story Stories
ABC (c) by Michael Casey
kind of things
But Tinnitus is my curse, and not just once a month
but every single day
so I hope you like what appears
there must be 3,000,000 words
and nobody has read it all
IF you do, then you will know me
and you could come and be my speed typist
it takes an hour to write up to 1000 words in new story
BUT with a speed typist I could maybe dictate one in 15 minutes]
and beat Tinnitus
So do you want me to be a Great Dictator
Charlie Chaplin film, its going to be on tv again soon
I remember it from 40 or 50 years ago
That's all
Pray for my health, I want to avoid Dialysis
me in my doorman coat, with lindyloo the other security person
Wednesday, 3 April 2024
nearly 11pm being watching UTUBE legal opinion Podcasts of TRUMP
nearly 11pm being watching UTUBE legal opinion Podcasts of TRUMP
his 175million has been rejected as the paperwork was not. good enough
its very entertaining
but strange as the Legal Commentator
STOPS
to do adverts half way through his UTUBE
I've been following Trump 8 years
Hopefully He'll go to JAIL
Jack Smith just told the Judge in the Secrets case
or dump everything. everywhere and MOVE them
when. FBI turns up, and try to destory the house CTV
anyway Jack said Judge, you do not know
your arse from your elebow
and will try to get her thrown off the case
IF
he had obeyed her ignorant instructions
the Jury could be told to acquit Trump
and then due to Double jeopardy
Jack Smith could not appeal
AMERICAN LAW IS THE PITS
Trump would be thrown in Jail
straight away for Bad Mouthing any Judge
And still Maga People think he is a Messaih
He never was and isn't and never will be
END
the amount of noise in my head is none stop
and my left shoulder arthritis is terrible too
So if these messages suddenly stop
It's because I'm in hospital
so pray for the writer, me
and yes I need a haircut
anybody want to come. trim me
I did buy a kimono but it was way way too small
maybe the girl in the image above will come and cut my hair and I'll give her the small for me kimono
as I was told no need to return . a kimono for a haircut
lost a few days
lost a few days
the Tinnitus is so loud lately
I cannot sleep
when I finally do, I wake up every 2 hours
finally I've had enough slots of sleep
only the TINNITUS is waiting
to try and kill me
and its so tiring fighting against the noise
not to mention when my arthritis kicks in
and migraines too
I'm falling apart
but though a sinner, I know how to use a Rosary
so all of you of all faiths and none
Pray for Peace
in the world
and in my head
it's like listening to the fires of hell burning
and that's as close as I want to get to it
in the other corner of the room
my small daughter is revising for her 2nd year exams
Anthropology and French with a side bar of Pole Dancing
must be 100s do it on the Unis by her's
its great exercise and confidence builder
Writing stories is all I can do
though the street lamps near our house are all bent
Pink came around with her Bloke and kids
and she gave me a few pointers
but with my weight, the street lights bend
I'm 280 pounds maybe and 5 feet 10, it's my strong legs
I saw a documentary about her tour
I was very impressed by the Family Unit
and how it works
Obviously her shows are off the chart good
She didn't call me a Lost Cause either
And neither are any us
Keep the Faith
or is that some other singer?
preparing to Irish Dance
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