Reintroducing Lech, Boris and Gregorgi
the boys are my friends, they come around to check I'm ok every now and then,
they claim it's just to see am I treating Totoro my cat ok, but who am I to argue?
The boys come from Popaloffoff where Russia/Ukraine and Poland make love on the map, what you dispute this? Are you Theresa May with her degree from Oxford in Geography?
Maybe she'll help my small daughter who hopes to do Geography A level once Covid is given a slap and sent packing, there's an opportunity for you Mrs May. Or didn't you like the story I put you in, as an Abba tribute singer, well kind of.
I thought it was so quiet that I could shout Shakespeare to my neighbours, but they are all indoors, probably watching Disney+ that launched today, though some tvs still haven't got the app, so Disney will no doubt sort that as they could the billions rolling in. But then I realised Shouted Shakespeare will be my next story, yes it's as simple as that, a stray word and you get 1000pages written. God help you I can hear you all say, I'll write it later, if i can get Disney+ to work on my tv. Then again, I do have the Bear Necessities already, what do you expect Shakespeare, I'll Shout at you later.
Ok, the Philippines are reading me lately so thanks to them, and thank you for sending all your nurses to help here in UK too.
now here's the boys
Lech,
Boris and Gregorgi come in from the Cold ©
By
Michael Casey
Now
it’s hard when building work goes on and there is dust everywhere,
when there is cursing galore, and that is just from mom and dad.
Builders blush when they overhear such language, but building is a
blessed thing, blessed with plenty of cursing. Anastasia was visiting
family in the village, when she had a phone call from her granddad,
the builders had let him down, now all he had was dust everywhere.
This made her own problem small beer, she had bought a brand new car
for herself as a graduation present, but it broke down repeatedly.
The dealership just laughed at her and called her little Russian
Princess. Now as Lech’s, Boris’s and Gregorgi’s wives chopped
meat their blood boiled.
Anastasia’s
granddad was Denis Nellis, he was very very old now, but when he was
very very young he was a sailor on the Arctic Convoy to Russia, after
the war he married the sister of a Polish Battle of Britain pilot. So
he was a man of great bravery, who should be honored and as he had a
connection to the village through marriage he was FAMILY. The boys’
wives sharpened their knives, but Anastasia said the Pen is Mightier
than the sword, and far far sharper, with a wicked smile. The boys’
wives agree as they did some target practice on the back of the
kitchen door.
But
where were the boys, where were Lech, Boris and Gregorgi? The Summer
of 2018 was so terrible hot, some like it hot, as they say, but
Gregorgi had a friend who owned a former Russian nuclear submarine,
he had bought it in an army or navy surplus sale. He ran trips to the
North, the far North, ½ way to the North Pole. Ice Station Zebra and
all that. Some of the crew had gone sick, so Gregorgi had persuaded
Lech and Boris to come and have an adventure, or were they little
girls? So the three of them found themselves on an ice shelf playing
football. The new or rather ex Soviet winter warmer clothes were
being sold to the tourists as Lech, Boris and Gregorgi larked about
on the ice. The pay was very good after all, and it was in US
dollars, perfect, what more did they want.
Their
wives could bear it no longer, they dug out the old SW set and
setting it to the emergency frequency they sent a message to the
North Pole. Come home the dinner is getting cold, family matter to
attend to. That was all it said, signed 3 wives. Now the American’s
went mad trying to work out what it meant. The Russian’s wanted to
know what it meant too. Only the British knew what it really meant.
You see Anastasia had a secret, she had just signed on to work for
GCHQ, so she had told them about her holiday plans, and having Denis
Nellis as a relative had swung the interview for her, that and having
a Double First from Downing Cambridge. Or the University of Monty
Python as some card in recruitment called it, you see Downing was
where John Cleese went, and Michael Winner and this writer’s
brother.
Lech,
Boris and Gregorgi worried for a full minute, before finishing off
the submarine’s supply of vodka, their wives could look after
themselves, they knew how to use knives and riffles. So as the
icicles melted from them they enjoyed their vodka, the trip had been
a success and they’d been invited to join the regular crew roster.
When
they got home to the village their wives feed them well and took them
to bed. They had to make sure everything still worked after the cold
of the North Pole. In the morning their wife’s gave them the
Eastern look, they explained about Denis Nellis and Anastasia. Then
Anastasia explained about the builder saying her grandad would have
to face facts and surrender to reality. The car company has said the
same, just surrender to life. Now Gregorgi started to twitch, you
never say Surrender to a Russian, after what those Nazi bastards did.
Lech and Boris weren’t happy either, this was Family. The Scots
never say surrender too, go ask the Black Watch if you don’t
believe me.
There
was just enough time to finish all the food their wives had prepared
while they were at the North Pole, then they made love to their wives
10 more times, before they were ready to hit the road. At David
Nellis’s house it was like the Nazi bastards had shelled it. Lech,
Boris and Gregorgi set to work. The bathroom extension with
downstairs bedroom would soon be sorted. The boys worked like slaves,
worse than slaves, they worked like men from the East, they worked
like family. If you married into the East, then you were part of the
East. They only stopped for 5 mins just to send me an email asking
that I looked after Still 17 in Warley Woods, it would be reaching
perfection too, by pure, 95% pure, coincidence they would be in
England to taste it.
When
the dust settled Dennis Nellis had his bathroom and new bedroom
downstairs. Gregorgi shed a tear, and for once his cousins did not
mock him for crying like a little girl. This was family. I had tapped
Still 17 and send the postman to deliver 10 litres, so toasting
Dennis Nellis sailor from the Artic Convoys they got drunk. What else
do you expect?
Now
Anastasia had not been forgotten, still hung over the boys decided to
go visit the car dealership. The car dealer had ignored Anastasia,
even though she was so pretty, and so very very intelligent. But boys
will be boys, and they had come in from the cold, and their 3 wives
had asked did they want to repeat their performance, once they had
sorted out Anastasia’s broken brand new car. So they went to the
car show room, now they could have physically turned all the cars
over like turtles. Just as Big Sid does in the finale of The Butcher
The Baker and The Undertaker.
However
they had seen the Full Monty on Dennis Nellis’s tv the night
before, so they just played the music on their Spotify on their
iphones so they started to strip. The girls in the car show room
giggled and live streamed it on Facebook to their friends, they
stopped giggling as more and more clothes came off. Where was the
nearest Polish/Ukrainian and Russian food store, these were MEN with
a capital M! The car showroom owner came down to see the still drunk
cousins sprawled naked over his cars, leaving marks all over the
polish, that’s polish not POLISH by the way.
He
tried to threaten them but this was no Spring Time for Hitler. Your
Cars have one thing in common with us slurred Lech, Boris and
Gregorgi, and what is that asked the car show room owner? BIG
BOLLOCKS! And with that the boys left the showroom. And did Anastasia
get a new car from the car dealer. No, he was going to offer, but the
Police closed down his showroom after 100s of complaints, the Police
even said he did not have a licence for Erotic Dancers so were able
to close him down immediately. But Peter Stringfellow saw it all
online and sent Anastasia a brand new car, a much better car. He did
offer the boys a job as well, but they decided, The winner wives take
it all, it was For Their Eyes Only.
