Round the Horne BBC Radio Show on Utube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJnj3LFtYSY

I heard the repeats of these, you can listen to them on Utube.

Welcoming South Korea

Welcome South Korea, I nearly went there 20 years ago to teach English. Instead I met my Shanghai wife and the rest is History.

I had a stray email from South Korea a coffee slow  coffee machine company, so I replied by sending them a copy of my book Still Alive 2015 in Korean.

So I assume this is you, reading this now from South Korea.

I would like to break into the South Korean and all markets, SO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ESPECIALLY IN THE MEDIA  and maybe i can earn a few bucks so I can move to a nice big house

IF YOU GO TO MY OTHER SITE IT AUTO TRANSLATES
JUST CLICK THE BUTTON.

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com

Michael G Casey에게 이메일 michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

당신은 사랑에있을 때 결코 혼자가 아닙니다 ©

으로

마이클 케이시

사랑은 함께하고, 사랑은 미소,보기, 터치

또는 한숨 쉬다, 왜 당신이 서로를 선택했는지 정말로 알지 못한다.

그럼에도 불구하고 당신이 죽을 때까지 함께

사랑은 당신의 몸을 따뜻하게하는 볼에 부드럽고 온화한 키스입니다.

마음을 쓰게되어 기쁘게 생각합니다.

키스는 더 많은 것을 이끌 수 있지만 나는 열정을 안전하게 잠그고 떠날거야.

침실 문 뒤에서

열정은 사순절을 위해서조차도 포기하지 않을 것입니다.

너는 따뜻한 포옹에 거짓말을하고, 잊어 버린 것을 기억할 것이다.

은혜.

속삭임과 약속이 만들어지고, 미래를위한 계획과

그녀는이 방법으로 그녀의 머리카락을 넣어, 당신은 그것이 그녀에게 어울릴 것이라고 생각하니?

그 다음 킥킥 웃음과 그 이상의 포옹, 밤이 끝날 때까지

갈빗대에서 발굴하면 그를 움직일 수 있습니다.

그럼 당신의 하나가 완성, 당신은 그의 차가운 발로 참아!

그러나 당신이 떨어져있을 때 당신의 마음은 여전히 ​​하나입니다.

생각 반은 결석 한 당신은 여전히 ​​하나입니다.

침대 밑에있는 양말과 네가 한 말대로.

그의 "장난감"은 흩어져 있었고,

그가 돌아 오는 몸의 보온과 따뜻함.

그가 당신을 흥분시킨 후에 당신을 차게하는 그의 차가운 발은 아직 결석하고 있습니다.

생각은 당신을 미소 짓게합니다, 적어도 당신은 잠시 동안 편안함을 느낍니다.

그의 미소와 leers, 적어도 당신은 미소 지을거야

잠시 동안 평화.

그러나 그의 마음은 여전히 ​​당신과 함께합니다. 사랑은 항상 거기에 있습니다.

너의 공정한 머리카락처럼 밝은.

눈을 감고 그는 여전히 거기에있다.

그는 당신의 얼굴을 가로 질러 손가락을 연주했습니다.

꿈을 꾸고 귀에 속삭이는 것을 기억하고 따뜻하게 해주세요.

그가 과감하기 전에 어깨에 키스. 사랑의 온기

당신의 피로 솟아 오릅니다.

꿈을 길게, 깊은 꿈을, 당신의 남자는 수면 중에 수고를합니다.

너는 별거 다. 너는 아직도 날씨가 무엇이든간에 너와 함께있어. 너를 위해서.

그가 당신의 마음에 갇혀 있기 때문에 결코 분리되어 있지 않습니다.

때로는 그가 시도 할 수도 있지만, 절대로

당신의 사랑을 위해 우는 것은 언ying은 것입니다.

그가 항상 떨어져 있어도 마음을 채운다는 것을 항상 기억하십시오.

종료

feel free to tell all your friends in Korea and Japan and China and anyplace else.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

my books are only 3USD or less on Amazon so buy all 15 of them 

And yes I'd love a spot on the radio, reading my stuff between records, any form of music you like,
Or you could get a KPop star to read my stuff out in Korean.
Perhaps I could become a cult, just like Gangham Style but far far fatter and older with silver hair, I have my own shades, I love Ray Bans by the way.

Cookery Lessons or How to Poison the Parents

Cookery Lessons or How to Poison the Parents ©
By
Michael Casey

My small daughter just brought home some biscuits from school, why she can’t just buy them from the shop instead of baking them I just don’t know. I suppose it’s called Cookery Lessons, or How to Poison the Parents lessons. It all depends on how good or bad a chef your daughter is, though nowadays boys do cookery too. The wicker basket carried gracefully on the arm, or manfully on the arm as your child goes to school, ingredients at the ready. You await with stomach pump and painkillers at the ready, as well have having stocked up on toilet paper. You are a parent you have to be ready for anything, you are not Royalty with many flunkies to help you.

Luckily my small daughter is a good cook, she has inherited that from my wife, though Chinese cuisine is never on the menu, other hot and spicy food from the East but not so much Chinese per se. Today we have cookies on offer, and I can remember Andy Williams saying to that Bear, you cannot have a cookie, not now,not ever, NEVER. He’d be really taken to task if he treated the Bear like that nowadays, 1960s to 2018, a lot has changed. And people are in a straightjacket of political correctness now, Robots have Human Rights too, will we be baking for CP3O next?

But I digress, normally at the last minute a daughter will ask for strange ingredients last thing the night before the cookery lesson. So mum or dad will have to stop watching Come Dine with Me, and put on their wellies and big warm poncho with plastic coverings on top, to splash about in the rain to get vanilla flavouring from the all night Turkish shop. Thank God for Turkey you say as you splash home, stopping for a trusty kebab on the way home.

You toss the vanilla at the small child, then an argument breaks out as to why you didn’t bring back chocolate for your child. You just don’t love your child otherwise you would have brought chocolate home. So you smile and throw your soaking clothes at the child. Hang these up or I’ll eat the vanilla with my kebab. Silence. A child would be shamed if she did not have all the ingredients, so you the parent have won, for today. So you finish your kebab as you watch Come Dine with Me. Your neighbour the bald headed gay man comes second, if he knew how to may a good kebab a la vanilla then he might have come first.

The next day your child is sneezing, not as a result of putting your wet clothes away, but because she got soaked on the way to school, she only had an umbrella against the deluge. The waterproofs grannie gave her for Christmas are not cool enough, so she never wears them, preferring to catch colds,but staying cool.

So she greases her bowl and sneezes into it too, for good measure, and continues to mix her ingredients. And is the vanilla added to the mixture? No,she left it on top of the fridge at home, so she in vanillaless. Nobody notices as they are trying to avoid the snot frying from her nostrils. Forget 21 or 42 or 64 or any number of gun salutes for the new Royal Baby, Shakespeare Windsor, no they have flying snot from a child who does not accept grannie’s love via waterproofs. The Queen was all wrapped up today as she rode her horse, if only our errant child did the same.

So everybody elbows everybody else to get to the electric hob in the school cookery room. Gas is not used, such sacrilege, but its safer or so they say. Cookery teachers cannot put their head in the oven in despair when brownies are not as they should be. Besides its easier to clean an electric cooker than a gas. Speaking of gas, the child did manage to steal the last of mom’s kebab before the cat got it, so now the next day is very gaseous, everybody thought it was a gas leak, only they cook on electric.

Thus the small child is given plenty of space to use the stove the most, and thus her brownies are fantastic, even with the added snot which lined the mixing bowl. Not that she’ll tell mum that. She’ll just bring them home and put them on a bowl next to a piping pot of tea. Mum really likes them. It must be the vanilla she bought in the dark of the night from the Turkish shop. The small child smiles triumphantly, as she sneakily pours the vanilla into the cat’s bowl, she does not want mum to find out that she left it on the fridge, after her going out in the cold and rain the night before.

So all’s well that end’s well as my mate Shakespeare might say, the writer Shakespeare, not Shakespeare Windsor the new Royal baby. But for one thing, the child has a bad cold, so only grannie’s horrid medicine will do. So the child is forced fed the medicine. Luckily she has her own cake and she can eat it, to take the spoonfuls of medicine taste away.   

A trip to the Dentist

A Trip to the Dentist (c)   2015

By Michael Casey

My daughter decided that her teeth were not good enough so she had braces fitted, so now we have something to tease her about, for a few years. I told her that her uncle had a gap between his teeth, it meant you'd travel a lot, that's what grannie, my mum used to say. It's true too my brother was like a gypsie, travelling far and wide. As for my daughter, I think she's been to Shanghai 5 times now, so her gap between her teeth has proved she's an international traveller. So once the gap disappears thanks to the braces maybe I'll have to pay for less international air tickets, or grannie in Shanghai will start to visit us instead.

So as the trip to the dentist, or should I say orthodontist was on a school day I had to attend with her, which feels like a waste of my time, but they do have BBC news channel on tv in the waiting room. So I walked all the way to her school and waited in the sunshine outside. That used to be no big deal but post quadruple heart bypass with arthritis returning I have to pace myself. So I walked up the hill, then had a rest while I watched the traffic and enjoyed the pollution before heading downhill again towards the school.

Now it is a know fact that if you stay still in one position long enough you will see the whole world, a bit like how mariners navigate if you think about it. So I stood at the corner of the street waiting for my daughter to leave school, and who did I see over the road on his phone, only Mr Singh who used to own the corner shop where I used to live 30 years ago. It appears his hard work has paid off and he now lives in a £750,000 house. He is actually immortalised in The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, but he'll have to buy a copy of the book to see if he can spot himself or his actions.

Pretty Indian girls jogged past in one direction then another, they may have even been Mr Singh's granddaughters. Then I could see a gardener walking towards me with his “napsac” on his back, and his tools strapped to his body. It was my neighbour Brian, so I said hello and explained what I was doing hanging around a street corner, looking like a well dressed criminal casing  or should I say Caseying a house. Though I do look at www.rightmove.co.uk often, dreaming of the day I can have a bigger house in the posh area near my daughters' school.

My daughter emerged from her school, thankfully its in the top 1% of schools in the country, its a grammar school in all but name. In fact its so good the head has been asked to go over the field and assist the boy's school, so she's now the head of both schools. Me and my daughter had plenty of time, we could have even walked to the dentists, though I soon decided my body could not cope with that, so we sat and chatted at the bus stop. The bus sailed past as we talked, so we waited 10 minutes then the next one arrived.

My daughter told me that she discovered that her orthodontist went to her school, my daughter was also musing about being a dentist. I just told her only do it if she could hold her breath, a lifetime of having bad breath in your face, no wonder they wear masks. So while my daughter had the braces tightened I watched BBC news channel, though I did think Kwickfit might have been closer, it was similar work, spanners and so forth.

Time passed quickly, my daughter told me she'd been away 25 mins, I thought it was only 10, so I must have been enjoying myself, I just hope my daughter did too. Looking at my watch I suggested we dive into the pub on the  way back to school. They had a meal deal, two meals for  £10 I had spotted it on the outward journey. Though it turned out we'd only have time for a drink and a huge pack of crisps each. On the bus back to school/pub the driver was unique. He had curly hair and big dangly ear rings on, plus stick on nails and a bra. He was in drag. Or that may have been his normal attire.

Once in the pub I needed the toilet, I couldn't use the toilet in the church opposite the dentist as they locked them up. Toilets only available on Sundays. I was tempted to pee in the Holy Water fonts. Instead on the bus I just dared not sit down, in case the extra pressure caused me to erupt like a waterfont. So finding the pub toilet was like being in a haunted house going up and down and round and around, while trying to keep my legs crossed at the same time. I was relieved to say the least. Then my daughter had followed my lead, so I had to look for her too, a fool searching for a fool.

We waited to be served and the barmaid raised half an eyebrow, it was not quite like a Saint Trinians girl with Arthur Dayley, but my daughter is very tall. As time was now pressing we both had a drink and some crisps, before my daughter grabbed her school bag and dashed back to school. As for me I jumped on the next bus and went back home via Aldi, as I did need to buy some sprouts for the wife.

 

About Me (2012 version, before arthritis and quadruple heart bypass)

Hello, how did you find me? Anyways I'm a fat silver haired guy in Birmingham, I'm trying to get Eve my smallest daughter to practice piano behind me. My other daughter Annie wants to kick me off the family computer so she can do her homework.

My Shanghai wife is practicing Gangham Style at the Korean food store where she works, I would be teaching English to Somalis only I hurt my back, so instead I sit at the computer wincing as a spasm of pain goes up and down my back. My wife reckons its punishment for my sins, she is of the fundamentalist new Christians variety, clutching Bible and Guns as Obama would say. Me I'm a fat Catholic, I believe in Love and Laughter, even Satan and The Republicans are Forgivable it only they say "sorry". But enough of the Philosophy.

I write humour, or try to. My play Shoplife could have made me rich and famous years ago, but as always I get close but no cigar. I have 5 books  on Amazon Kindle only 3dollars each the perfect Christmas present, Honaker presents too.

The thing with humour, and English English spellings is that it’s not quite right, so it may or may not hit the nail on the head.   https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com is the car park where I leave my prose. So if you like this then tell Obama to buy all 5 of my books, I read somewhere he's a big reader, when he's not sneaking out with the Secret Service to practice his bowling. S T R I K E!!!!!!!!

We are having a baby

We are having a baby ©  from 2010

By

Michael Casey

We are having a baby, after much though and heartache we have decided to have a baby, it will be our 3^rd. Now in Google search that’ll be condensed so everybody will be mislead until they click and read the full version. Yes we are having a baby, and yes it will be our 3^rd, but not a baby baby, which would indeed be our 3^rd. No we are not trying for a boy after having two girls, we are just having a 3^rd baby, I mentioned it to my eldest daughter on my way back with a coffee in my hand, she said it wouldn’t be a 3^rd baby, it would be a 4^th baby, or even a 5^th baby. You see we had a new Tv after ours gave up the ghost after 16 years, so the new Toshiba was a baby, and our new noisy whistling kettle was a baby too. What I’m really saying is that our computer has reached the age when it should be replaced. The baby I’m on about is a new Emachine computer, a baby computer because it should be so much smaller than the original one from over 7 years ago. Best of all it was on offer, 200 off. If it wasn’t on offer it would have stayed in the shop, but we really need our computer so thankfully a cheap one has popped up to save the day.

As for our current Emachine that’ll find a new home with somebody who had our last old baby, a tradition is forming, he has our old cache which saves him cash. Its nice if you can recycle things, and I’m sure our friend will spruce it up to make it better than we had it. I know somebody who has a computer who has never done a disc cleanup, but that’s another story. As for us I now have to backup our old files, can you imagine how many 1000 photos you take when you have a young children; you have to send them to grandma in Shanghai and friends in Toyko and Taiwan and Singapore, and the most exotic Stourbridge and Reading and Frankfurt. You do have some on the family website but now as change is in the air you must backup everything, you cannot lose your children’s childhood snaps.

Yesterday I looked at USB sticks they can be pretty expensive, finally I worked out how much stuff we just had to backup and move. Play.com turned out to have the best offer for 16gig flash security. Lets hope it’s a simple as I think it is to back things up, I have 14gig of stuff to backup. As you can imagine I have to keep my other babies safe, my stories my writing, which are dreams in themselves. I had them on floppy discs scattered all around my house. I do have my site   https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com  so my “masterpieces” will survive fire and floor and even nuclear war as the are on a server on a different continent. However I still need them on my new baby computer my new Emachine, so my 16gig flash storage will have a mission. There is one thing to remember though I remember somebody saying if you don’t dismount/unload you media properly then you lose what’s on the flash media. Well I’ll find out about that soon enough, Wednesday will be my security day.

Then once everything is safely loaded I can breath a sigh of relief. But what else do you have to do once you have your new baby, your new computer. Get connected to the Internet, without being swamped by viruses because you forgot to get an anti virus program. Set up accounts on the computer, I have my side and my wife has her side. With a Shanghai wife though I get stray Chinese characters appearing on our current computer, and strange things have happened. So I need to keep a clear head while I get things as I want them to be, however give it a fortnight and China will have invaded my side of the computer and stolen all the duvet. I still dream of  having my books in Waterstones and sold as Ebooks for all these new devices, but most of all I want a computer just for me!

Royal baby to be called Shakespeare Windsor

Royal baby to be  called  

Shakespeare Windsor