Day Off

Michael Casey

Why do girls love crayons and pencils and pens and so on. Just had to order more for my girls. One of them had a day off as the school heating was broke, so she read 3 Lemony Snicket books while at home. I read more of The Book Thief myself. Then I had to buy some cotton socks for my daughter, her feet grow so fast, size 5 at age 11, I hope she doesn't turn into a giant. She's battering my ears with piano practice just behind me. If ever I sell some books we'll have a music room, with soundproofing!

Amazon Kindle for my 5 books and future soundproofing

The Book Thief

Built another bookcase today, the front room really looks nice now. All the ringbinders are all tidied up, my CDs are all neatly in a row now. Only I don't have a HiFi anymore, perhaps in the future, but I do have my music on the computer.
I have been reading The Book Thief which is narrated by Death, I'm at page 200 now. I am very very impressed by the writing, I'll never be that good, but I'll try to be as good as I can be, cannot say fairer than that. I reached the part where the painter said "A promise is a promise" he would hide a Jew from the insane Nazi machine, his life had been saved by a Jew and a dear friend, who had taught him to play the accordian  in The Great War and he made a promise to the widow,   "a promise is a promise", I cried. Such simplicity, such honour. A life saved now 20 years later he would protect the son because "a promise is a promise" The painter's only life would now be in danger, but "a promise is a promise." I've still got to finish the book but it  really did make me think of the war generation, the war generation in Germany, they suffered the madness of Evil. All I can say is read the book.

Author Blurb

Well I'm fat, almost tall and I have silver coloured hair. You can see for yourself on the book covers. I wear shades because I need them they are not a pose, do I look like the kind of person who poses?

I have a Shanghai wife and 2 bilingual daughters, laughter is a big theme in our house, it stops the wife form nagging me. The term the wife is an old fashioned term that I like so I use it, its from British comedians from a different era. I try and write comedy/comic pieces as I'd rather make you laugh or at least smile instead of causing you pain. I do reserve the right  to make you think too, or try at any rate.

Writing is all about trying to influence people without the use of substances, touch their heart or influence their mind, and maybe steal a bit of their money and get them to buy all 5 of my Ebooks. So much for the theory, I'm a much fatter version of Gangham Style and see what happened to him.

Building a Bookcase

Building a Bookcase ©

By Michael  Casey

Well you buy your kids books to read, to expand their minds, then you need a bookcase trouble is the flat pack had no tools, normally an allen key is included. So I went hunting for the tools, mine used to belong to one of the lodgers, 30 year old tools, I got his tools when he died, he got my prayers. He has no family so  only my prayers are helping him get into Heaven, a trade off. He was like an uncle to me, he gave me my 1st watch for passing the 11 plus. So I always remember him, whenever I see the time. I think he got the better part of the deal.

So I root out my tools and then I have to put the bookcase together up the corner of the girls’ room. If I found the posidrive screwdriver than I could have doen it in 10 minutes. I had tipped my screwdrivers out all over the floor and the bed. I had to use the traditional/normal screwdriver with plenty of brute force. I did half a job. The I sat on the bed and I sat on the correct screwdriver the posidriver, the cross shaped one, the one that GKN invented in the 70s. So with a sigh, or maybe a curse I finished off the job in a couple of easy minutes. Then just the matter or tacking the back on with a hammer, I do have a nice hammer of my own. Then ever so carefully I manoeuvred the bookcase into the corner. The girls were happy and I left them to stack the shelves.

I returned to discover they had filled it. Luckily the shelf depth is such that you can put 2 rows of books on each shelf. Maybe we should have bought a full height bookcase. £22 from Argos was what I got, for double we could have doubled the height of the bookcase. I do have” teacher’s corner “in the room downstairs, so maybe when the girls have filled their bookcase double I’ll invest in a new bookcase, a full sized double width one. Then my teachers corner can be tidied up and they can rent out a shelf or two from me. You don’t think of all this when you read a book or two, or when you encourage your kids to read. Yes we do use the library at the bottom of the road but there is a nice satisfaction in owning a book or two.

Amazon sent me a list of books I may like:-

The Time Keeper – Mitch Albom; Hardcover

Have A Little Faith – Mitch Albom; Paperback

Tuesdays With Morrie: An old man, a young man, and life’s greatest lesson – Mitch Albom; Paperback

The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom; Paperback

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak; Paperback

Life of Pi – Yann Martel; Paperback

And they are  on my to read list once payday and the lottery arrives

But I need to make sure of one thing, I am not sitting on a posidrive screwdriver when I need to build a flatpack book shelf again , and that could be very soon.

Michael Casey Bed(c)

Michael Casey Bed©

By Michael Casey

I was just reading in the DT that a Uni is going to start a comedy course, a degree in being funny. Today’s title refers to a teaching degree but I’ve  typed it in wrong to make a point, would you take the teacher seriously if Bed was after their name instead of BEd?

Yes you can teach the business side of comedy, comedians are the new millionaires after all, and some new comedians are just not funny, but they still make loads of money to steal one comedian’s catchphrase. Eric Morcambe used to say if it was funny then it was funny, don’t analyse it. There are some genuine funny people who’ll crack everybody else up with a look, a phrase, a voice, just about anything. If anybody else did the same it just would not work. Frank Carson used to say “It’s the way I tell them” and he was right, Roger Burton our old driver nearly crashed the van as he took Frank to the airport, because Frank was so funny and Roger was crying with laughter. Jim the other driver could say something and he would get away with it, and evoke gales of laughter because he was funny.  I was part of that playground too at CPNEC, it was such a fun play the three of us together, not forgetting Phil, my phone a friend Phil.

If you try and catch up with a laugh it’s too late, timing really is everything, and you either have it or you don’t. I went on  a Presenting Course in 1998 because I hoped it’d help with my comic writing, it did help me learn to present and ultimately to teach. I try and practice my comic timing while I’m in the queue in Iceland or Aldi, I listen to what’s happening at the front of the queue and then see if I can make the checkout girl laugh, most days I can. Three years of banter with the lads at CPNEC does help you a lot.

Now writing comedy is another thing entirely, you may be able to write but performing is another kettle of fish, and if you get it wrong it really does stink as much as a kettle of fish. I mentioned teaching, I have used my writing skills to make students laugh and to teach  at the same time. I prefer the writing side but I have performed as well, some say I was good, but I laugh too much instead of being the straight actor. You have to have discipline while you act, you know the funny line is coming you must not kill it, it has to come out and be enjoyed.  Some people kill the punch line by interrupting the story, that’s always a bad thing, let the storyteller tell the story.

My friend Andrew was a brave man, he had severe problems with his legs and used crutches, he worked our switchboard, now he knew how to deliver a line. If we had a quiet period in the mid afternoon and I wasn’t sent elsewhere to help out at the hotel then we’d share a joke or two. I’d feed him a line and wait, he’d pause and look back at me  from his position at the switchboard then deliver a perfect put down, his lips pursed and his glasses perched on his nose. I was the ball machine and he was the ace returning grand slam player. It was fun, I’d be the straight man and he’d be the slammer. Working the Concierge desk in the evening I had a chance to practice my lines with every new guest that appeared. Perfect place to practice.   I also spent 3 years at a law firm, I practiced words of a different kind there.

But what of words? Words are like sweets, like drops of rain, a kiss and much much more. Comedy is strange, what makes me laugh may not make you laugh. An In joke, Inns of Court jokes jokes appeal on different levels to different people. Every job, every profession has its own jokes, the knack is to write so that you can touch base with as many different people as possible, use special language and draw people in to different strands of life, of laughter. In a way laughter is about pain because we are laughing at others misfortune.

Every joke or story has degrees of laughter and pain attached, it’s though laughter we can live through pain. I wrote about my bad back maybe 3 years ago, Crawling Like a Worm in the Dirt I called the piece, it’s funny because we can picture the scene. A  good writer is drawing pictures in the readers’ minds, creating cartoons. Now will a Degree be able to teach all of what I’ve spoken of? I’ve spent 45 years to get where I am now, 20 years listening to BBC Radio4 and 25 years holding a pen. Humour varies from area to area and from country to country, from person to person, one man’s meat really is another man’s poison. I think it’s time for Michael Casey to go to B E D.

Books and Investment

Books an Investment ©

By Michael Casey

I used to read by the yard, I sat next to the school library, 5 shelves of books, so I read almost all of it, literally reading by the yard, we weren’t metric then, reading by the metre would sound strange.

We’ve just had half term, so I bought a few books for my girls, Lemony Snicket 13 book boxed set was great value from one site on the internet. I even bought a cheap huge Spanish dictionary which will help my daughter,  she can stand on it to reach to academic heights. Internet is great but books still need to be read, the touch and feel of books is such a nice sensation, the smell too is nice, it does encourage learning. Curling up with a book is nice. You can hide under the duvet while the rain lashes down, while the snow blankets the streets and rooftops, a nice book and a warm drink, perfect as the cat purrs at the bottom of your feet.

We all went on a trek to Spring Hill library, only the library was shut, so our brother said “you’ve seen the library then”, we turned tail and walked the 2 miles back to the house. There was a little sweet shop next to it but we had no money for sweets. That was before the flats were built, before the big Tesco store too, the library is still there, a listed building. Thinking about it I remember getting all the Sherlock Holmes from the Spring Hill library, 40years ago and more, the John Creasy books too. Nobody had books in their houses then, so a trip to the library really did open doors, doors in the mind.

I   remember 35years ago and more when I was unemployed, I’d buy an LP, CDs weren’t invented then, so I’d buy an LP, John Denver Back Home Again and a few books and that would keep occupied until the next dole payment. I read all the John Wyndham books and filled a bedside cabinet. In Birmingham city centre we had Hudson’s book shop on New Street. This was a rabbit warren full of books, the Hobbit meets books. JRR Tolkien was a Birmingham man after all. After that reading break I applied for one computer job and got it and stayed for 21years.

On holidays I’d find the book shop and buy a ton of books to keep me busy while we sat on the beach at Abegele or wherever. I found the Don Camillo books that my History teacher had recommended so it was such a trill to discover them. 30 years later I rediscovered them and bought second hand copies on Amazon, there are a few Don Camillo stories online too, so take a peek. Today I’ve ended up reading the Grimm fairy tales, and they are so good, we watch the Grimm tv detective show on Sky and those are great too, based loosely on the brothers Grimm stories, so maybe indirectly they have led me to reading the brothers Grimm, and yes watch the tv show its on at 9pm on Sky.

Books have other uses too, you can use them to prop up your bed when the bed leg breaks, we used a tin of beans and an old metal iron, the kind used 100years ago to iron, to prop up my brother’s bed, but books work too. So support your mind and support yourself and your bed. If you forget to get the toilet paper from the store you could always use a page or two from a book, assuming you’re not going to reread a book.  The ultimate critique of a book, use it as toilet paper. Books can get musty and dusty and go horrible so make sure you don’t keep them next to a damp wall.

If ever I sell any of my 5 books I will buy my daughter a bookshelf, she has 130books piled up against the wall by her bed, I have Grimm and Don Camillo by my bed, and a Dab radio. A prayer book or a Bible is next to some people’s beds for as we all know in the beginning was the Word.

Clocks go back and I’m sad

OCTOBER 27TH, 2012 19:26

Clocks go back and I’m sad

By michaelgcasey

Clocks go back and I’m sad(c)

By Michael Casey

Well I went around the house putting the clocks back and I was saddened to find out that my Seiko chiming  clock had a problem. I’ve had that clock for maybe 15years  now, it works off a big torch battery, D size. When I came to adjust the time I discovered that the little plastic wheel that you turn to adjust the hour was missing. I went down on my hands and knees in search of the plastic wheel but no luck. So I had to try and do it with my finger nails, I could  have just taken the battery out and waited. It’s probably my prize possession, so I’m disappointed, if my house was bigger I would have had a Grand Father clock all those years ago, so I compromised with a chiming clock that sits on the mantlepiece. It cost 80quid which was a lot of money then and still is now. If anybody has a spare plastic wheel thing just let me know. A chime is the heartbeat of a home after all