Monday, 1 April 2024

Panama and Peru reading me on the sites, this popped up and made me cry again

Friday 23 August 2019

God's Betting Shop

God’s Betting Shop

God’s Betting Shop ©
By
Michael Casey

God walks amongst us, he is with us and for us, and against nobody, he does not give us riches here on Earth, he is not is one Faith, he is many and all Faiths and none at all. He does not help people become super rich, and despise the Leper, in fact he prefers the Lepers of Society, Society Matters to him, it his cuddly little teddy bear.

So a Betting Shop is indeed where God hangs out, he’s up the corner sweeping up the betting slips, he is the kid banging the thieving fixed odds machines that steal our money. In the old days the Gambling Shops used to boast, this establishment is air conditioned for your comfort. SMOKING was still allowed in them, gut wrenching smoke was everywhere, little wonder I for one never entered such a place. I think I did once to put a bet on the Grand National for my dad, it felt like going into a STD clinic or Brothel, I did not want to be spotted entering or leaving.

The irony is decades later I became a Trainee betting Shop Manager, one shop had a locked fire door from the outside, my life, the punters lives were not worth one month’s salary, about £1000, though there I earned much less. So what about God as he watches our despair as we pull our hair, know we shouldn’t be there. The Angels and the Saints are all crowded in around him watching those who have lost their way.

There is some Joy and Hope, and friends meet to place a bet then grab a pint of poison, or a real drink, before the wife kicks up a stink, you were supposed to buy Hush Puppies in the sale for the kids before school resumed after the Summer Hols. Instead you put money on a horse called Rose, because your wife’s religious calendar said it was Saint Rose of Lima’s saint’s day. Now you have lost everything, so she will strangle you with her Rosary beads.

Rose of Lima, looks and says God will you Bless Him, for sake of his children’s shoes. God says nothing, the man leaves and stumbles his way home. He helps an old lady carry her heavy bags to the bus stop. He even helps her on the no.11 bus by Saint Mary’s, as she gets on she drops an envelope full of cash. She does not notice, salvation is before him in the gutter. The man is tempted, but he bangs on the side of the bus and hands the old lady her money. God Will Bless You, she says her piercing blue eyes look directly into his.

The man gets home and his wife kisses him tenderly. But,but, but he does not understand. In the living room there are packages galore. It’s like Christmas. Where did these come from? Your friend the old lady came by hours ago with her daughter Rose, they brought everything, they said you did them a big favour, they brought all this. His wife described the old lady. It was the one he helped only a few minutes ago. The man’s head swum. He could not understand.

As he ate his dinner, his children, were so happy, the man was confused. The old lady said you had saved her son Martin years ago, the man’s head swum, what was going on. Many years ago he’d saved somebody’s life by putting his fingers in the stab wounds to stop him bleeding to death. But he’d never met the old woman till today, a few minutes ago, what was going on what was going on.

After dinner his wife handed him an envelope, it was the very same one he’d returned to the old lady when she had dropped it. There was £5000 in it, plus a note. All you need is love, and you have such a beautiful family. Today we have placed a bet on your Future. Martin is my “son” just as your are, he has been praying for you every day of his life, he has been made Bishop today, and he is still praying for.

In the Betting shop, the old lady dropped an envelope the exact same one the man had, but now it appeared to hold nothing but a Rosary made of string and knots. Nobody noticed, all except God, Mum I can refuse you nothing, the Prayers you say Tomorrow will have helped Yesterday. I know Son, but it is Rose of Lima’s feast day and I did not want the man’s children to go barefoot.
eatingchocolate21stAug2019
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Sunday 31 March 2024 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQpc43eBkNg

Short stories from Birmingham readers in 162 countries so far HEAR ME READ ALOUD 207 stories written & read by me https://profile.typepa...

Sunday, 31 March 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQpc43eBkNg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQpc43eBkNg

Thank you Singapore for Easter Mass

brought back memories of me as an altar boy

so much smoke in the air and buckets of Holy Water

I'm still Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer 

in shades from Birmingham England





I watch Mass on tv as my illnesses make it hard for me to attend in person

steep hill and tinnitus

but in spirit I attend and I do have many rosaries that I actually use

I'm not a fake like Trump and his Bible

what you see is what you get with me

so pray for my health


If Putin had my Tinnitus right now he would surrender

Michael Casey michaelgcasey@gmail.com

Attachments12:53 (4 hours ago)
to ovcspresswhitehouse.gov.uspressuniv_7tvrandot-flowersflower.sky6930pressprpartnerimsinfoirums.sfumsprcdPRESSprredd.mil.ruirinfoinfoinfo
So that is my prayer Let Putin have my Tinnitus then he would fall to his knees 
And finally Love his neighbours as he felt the noise 
And pain simultaneously 
For all Believers love God
And love your neighbour 
And Mary is mother to all Nations 

and BITCOIN is all fake, never trust it

Build treasure in Heaven instead

my head is still exploding by the way, Tinnitus is like hearing the sounds of hell itself

so as my dad said to me, when he left me alone in the house while he collected my baby sister

and my mum

Michael don't touch the fire

February 1963

so I've taken that advice

Don't touch the fire

Say a Rosary instead

Happy Easter world, all 162 plus countries that have read me so far



















yes my daughter then and now in images above

Saturday, 30 March 2024

Life Lessons by Michael Casey something from 7 years ago maybe, I threatened to come and read it at my daughters school

Life Lessons ©
By 
Michael Casey

I was talking to my dad yesterday, yes I talk to my dad, doesn’t every 16 year old girl? He was telling me about his struggles, he doesn’t call them struggles as that would sound Pretentious and he despises Pretentiousness as much as We hate double Latin last thing on a Friday afternoon, after a hard week at school. My dad actually did have double Latin on a Friday afternoon when he was in 5th Year, he hates all this Year Whatsit stuff as well, if it’s so Modern then why does it suddenly become 6th Form after all the years of Struggle. But at least We don’t have double Latin on a Friday afternoon.
I said it would be inspirational if he went into schools gave a speech, dad just laughed and said only if the English teacher wore stockings and suspenders and a short skirt and was 25 years younger than him. Or was that the French teacher marrying the student, and then becoming the President. Or am I mixing something up that I half heard on the news, I never pay attention to the news, does any 16 year old girl? The bit about the stockings and suspenders is true though, as dad has such a booming voice you always hear him clearly. He showed me a picture of mum once and said that’s why you are here, but that’s another story so I’ll draw a veil over that.
Dad stopped picking his nose, but at least he doesn’t wipe it on the wall as my little sister over there used to do, when she was in Year8, sorry I mean when she was eight months to 88 months old. Anyway I said Life Lessons, so dad just raised his leg and farted, he said it was a family tradition as his dad my granddad used to do that. Then he asked how long, how many pages, how long if it was read out. I suggested 3 pages worth. He ignored me and went hunting for the remote control but I knew he might rattle something off in the morning. It’s his mental exercise, writing, 1,060,000 Words so far he told me, so that makes him very mentally exercised, with a brain as big as, Kim Kardasian’s ARSE.
He didn’t say any more, but he wants a change from Translating into Polish for his 21,700 in just 3 weeks Polish fan base. So I just crossed my fingers and hoped Dad would come up with something. Dad being dad was suspicious that I wanted him to write an essay I could memorise for my GCSEs. His ESol English students had tried to pull that trick years ago, they were only learning English as a foreign Language, so when they wrote something that was too good, it was obvious not all their own work.
But that I suppose is the 1st Life Lesson, don’t try and memorise the perfect essay and pass it off as your own, Like a Politician’s speech, as cut and paste or memory cut and paste STANDS OUT, and you will be caught. Your teacher knows you, so if it doesn’t seem to be like your work then it isn’t. Though I did think of getting my little sister to write an essay, when she’s not wiping snot on walls she really is a good writer, better than dad she always tells him. But he always tells her, that’s the  way he wants it to be, then he lifts his leg and farts, and sings Nobody Does it Better, from the James Bond film.
And that’s the 2nd life lesson, don’t cheek your dad, or he will turn the other cheek and fart, leaving you gasping for breath. The 2nd Life lesson is always have enough toilet paper in the bathroom, and when you finish wipe both sides of the seat and flush. If you finish a roll then replace it properly. Dad cleaned bathrooms in a 4 star deluxe hotel, CPNEC Birmingham, when he wasn’t talking to millionaires in the foyer. So a fully ready toilet is always a must.
Things will go wrong, and in dad’s life they did. In everybody’s life they do, the question is what are you going to do about it? What if you were in that toilet and there was toilet paper, what would you do? Text a friend? Though text is a good word, as this is in fact the 3rd copy of this text I have in my hand. What happened to the 1st 2 copies? Well I didn’t have a phone with me to text anybody, so I improvised.
So that is the 3rd Life Lesson, always print on super absorbent paper, and remember paper can really really cut, a paper cut is the worst thing, ever, so if you do have to improvise at least you’ll always have some paper, some text with you, should you not be able to text a friend. But if people remember Life lesson 2 then YOU won’t need life lesson 3.
Life Lesson 4 is follows on from Life Lesson3, always but always have copies. Physical copies can be destroyed, or put to other uses as we’ve already discussed, such as mopping up spills, coffee spills on the English teacher’s desk. If she insists on wearing stockings and suspenders to school what dos she expect, a marriage proposal from the French kid hoping to be President?
Dad backs everything up in cyberspace to multiple accounts, they are free so get 17 of them and get all the free hard drives in space. Then email everything to yourself and your 17 free email accounts. Files and CUT and PASTE in FULL. So that when you set fire to the house because you were on the phone and not watching the chip fan. By the way this is not enough either, so buy a pack of usb sticks and make copies galore. By copies galore at least 7. 7 being the number of times you, well use your own imagination, dad wrote this for me not you. 7 times you….
Why is dad so strict about this. He was a Computer Operator when he was still a teenager 40 years ago. Then computers were as big as wardrobes and a disk drive was not a usb stick, it was as big as a washing machine, with 0.1 of a gig or less on it. And if something went wrong you really really really knew about it. So Lesson4 BACKUP, especially now that A levels and degrees and PhDs beckon. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Lesson 5, you will get you degree and be the best of the best. But now you will be even more unemployable. As you know I am ½ Chinese, but say I went back to Shanghai and said I have a degree in this or that. They would laugh and say look out the window, and as you look the will say, we have 200million people just as qualified and 150million better qualified.
So Life Lesson 5 is stand out. And I’m not talking about the English teacher in her stockings and suspenders. A repeated thing is called a Chorus by the way, so the English teacher in stockings and suspenders is the Chorus. Or the Amen at the end of a prayer, that A MAN, may be the answer to the English teacher in stockings and suspenders PRAYERS.
If you are pretty you stand out and you are remembered, so subliminally you get a head start. People judge you in 20 seconds, when my dad worked in a hotel he must have met 100,000 people and spoke to that many, lots of micro-conversations. In his prime he could sum somebody up in 30 seconds, just as a good policeman or bouncer can.
What can you do to get an edge, well you could dress like the English teacher, repeat Chorus everybody. Or you could have style? Style may be just one item of clothes, like Theresa May’s shoes. Or a colourful scarf, or a scarf with unique broach on it. Something that makes people look twice. Yes un-brushed teeth with last nights’ kebab stuck to it makes people look twice and  remember you too.
Do you know you colours, have you done a Swatch, Gold and Black is not a good selection by the way. And yes if you are wondering, my dad is Gay Dad. No, stop laughing, he has a Shanghai wife, you’ve all seen my mum, and 2 bilingual daughters and a bilingual cat called Totoro. This means he knows about FASHION. He wrote the script for Zoolander.
So ask yourself, if a fat farting silver haired dad in shades can know about Fashion, why can’t you? Fashion is a tool so use it.
Life Lesson6 is Personality, this is the most important thing of all, people look at you first that’s why the Fashion, is 5 and Personality is 6, if you look like a dog’s dinner then you won’t get a chance to show your personality. Personality is the most important thing. If you can make somebody laugh then they will like you.
They will say where is Mandy, Brandy or Barry Manilow? If you can hold an intelligent conversation then people will want to listen to you. The looks will fade, but the twinkle in your eye or the laughter and light will not. If you look great that’ll last for 10 years, or 30 if you have Chinese blood, or if you are a fat silver haired dad in shades, then Forever, Fame I want to Live Forever Fame. Chorus again please.
OK, I didn’t write this dad did, he puts stuff down to embarrass me.
Life Lesson 7 is never be embarrassed, what would you do if a naked man suddenly appeared. The English teacher would just slap his bare arse and say, Kindly Go to the Art Studio, the Still Life Class does not start till after assembly. You will have kids, even Sarah, and they will pooh and puke everywhere, so you have to cope with it. I live with dad, he does not pooh and puke everywhere yet. BUT I DO KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH BEING CONSTANTLY EMBARRASSED. So have a catchphrase and use it on all these occasions. Such as I used to work in a 4 star deluxe hotel, and smile.
Dads make you take the rubbish out, to do this to do that. And they are a right pain in the PIGU, this is a Chinese word you can look it up, I’ll spell it for you. P I G U But what I never realised was its his way, their way of saying I LOVE YOU. It’s to teach me, to teach you, all of us of the value of work, real work, physical work.
Dad has cleaned toilets, he’s swept floors, he’s ran computer rooms, worked in a major law firm, he’s taught English as foreign language. He’s even written over a million words, please buy the books, he says he’ll buy me a Range Rover if you do, and try saying that if you are Chinese.
The point though is that Dads try and protect us.
STEP AWAY FROM LECTERN
AND DO TAI CHI DISPLAY.
Dad taught me that Tai Chi too, he had to visit 99 Chinese takeaways, visiting all the food and relatives we have, just so he could pass on that Tai Chi. He put on 10 kilos in 3 weeks. But he said he did it because he loved me.
So the 8th and Final Life Lesson, and 8 is lucky in China be HUMBLE enough to realise that you don’t know all the answers, the old sack of farts in the corner, the fat man with silver hair and shades has lived a life and many many things were sad, too sad to mention, that’s why dad, my dad only writes comedy. A Comedy of his many Errors, but if you do buy all his books, he really will buy me a Range Rover, for my dad keeps his words, all 1,060,000 of them safe in cyber space and on 17  usb sticks.








i have since shaved

this made me laugh

 I'm bringing this back, it made me laugh, the HK crowd were reading it

HK has now read 1/4 as much as the Singapore crowd by the way

though I'm not totally sure  was it them reading this

I know the countries,  and I know the pieces read

but there is not a direct correlation 

anyway

I got up as I was a lying target with the tinnitus

It's like hearing the flames of hell roar, and hearing is as close as I want to get

so I've had breakfast but I need to return to bed after 3 hours up

because i have not had enough sleep


I just spotted another, Life Lessons which you can find for yourselves 

just trawl my sites

Thursday 20 April 2017

Food Bargains

Food Bargains ©
By Michael Casey

It’s been a busy day for me today, I took a peek at another house, I think it’ll be a No, not unless they drop the price bigtime, and then the wife decides she likes it. I also had to take my big daughter to the Optician to pick up her new glasses, pair plus spare. So I was out a couple of times, and did a fair bit of walking. 

Sadly the days when I could walk 5 miles at the drop of a hat are over, if you are metric 5 miles equals 8 kilometres. I used to walk up to 20 miles and more a week when I was working in the hotel. Sadly these past few years have slowed me down. I am still alive thanks to the surgeons but I am not as good as I used to be prior to surgery, Don Camillo my local priest said that at our age its 3 years not 3 months before you get back to normal. That’s without Arthur my arthritis and my cKd adding to my tiredness.

Apart from that I can sit and write and read the Press to my heart’s content, the ability to write is my saviour. I still feel 20 in my head and in my outlook though my birth certificate says I’m older and my pain says I’m older still. But pain does not rule me, I am a bridegroom eager for the night ahead, on a page, on my bed of words.

Now what I really want to talk to you about tonight is Food Bargains, and how did this idea come to the fore today? Because after me and my  daughter picked up her new glasses, she now looks like a female John Denver, I asked her what she fancied for food today. Which led us to the Coop and its buy 5 items for a fiver, instead a tenner. I don’t always go to Aldi, though it is my spiritual home. Part of my therapy as I joked to the checkout boy today.

Now Politicians say offers in supermarkets can be bad, but speaking as somebody who lives on a tight budget I say all offers are good. When I finally get my major media deal I’ll shop in Sainsbury’s and Waitrose, but until then I’m an Aldi boy, yes boy, I am so young in spirit. You are so cruel laughing at me through your computer screens, if I could reach out and spill your energy drinks then I would.

Offers allow us poor people to survive or have a few special treats at low cost. Rising prices for social policy reasons penalises the poor. So leave we the poor alone.

Now you wouldn’t expect me just to make that point without seeing the flip side, so I’ll continue with the flip side.

Well you are having Creamy Creamy Ice Cream tonight. Why what do you want? I just love you so much. Did you scratch the car again, I told you to watch the neighbour’s garden fence, it’s more like something from the Somme. No I just love you, have a double helping. What are you after? Do you want my body again, it’s been 4 times this week already. Yes eat your ice cream then take your clothes off. Why can’t you get another model for your Medical Textbook photographer work. They need somebody your age, besides if you are really good, I may, I may… Put the central heating on.

You are getting sausages and peas tonight, you know you love to pee, or rather eat peas. It was on special offer. Then you can have some onion rings too, you know how you like them. Then you can get your clothes off, I need a few more photos for the Medical Textbook. If you are good I have some funny fish faces too. What you don’t like the funny fish faces, because they upset your faeces. Have a double portion of peas instead, then get your kit off.

This Young’s fish is really nice, especially if you grill it, and the peas are nice too, with a dab of low calorie marg melted in them. I don’t know what the marg is made of, but it must be good, its 60% less saturated fat than butter. What does saturated fat mean, I don’t know either. These bargains really are sogood. 

Why do we always get peas and ice cream with every offer. It’s like school Christmas school dinners. Have a cuppa to warm you up, in fact have too. This PG tips was on offer too, and you get a free monkey carrier bag, made from plastic something or another. Have you finished your tea? Good now get your kit off, I have 10 more close ups to take for the urinary care project, it’s so good I married you, it would be embarrassing to photo a naked man I wasn’t married to.

I’ve got you some Pasta today, yes there will be peas too. I have some apple strudel too, and a new mug to drink your tea from. I bought it the charity shop, its new, but it was in the charity shop. Yes two mugs of tea then can you get naked. I have to take photos for the colon examination feature, and I may take photos for the circumcision. No stop crossing your legs, see I’ve put the knife down. I was only going to butter my crumpet.  Come here have a nibble of my crumpet, then stand on the kitchen table while I take the photos for the Birmingham Medical Report.

I got a nice joint for us tonight, a joint of meat. I don’t take photos of the misuse of substances, that’s my twin sister Jane. Yes we’ll be having peas and onion rings with it, and sweet corn. We never got around to finished all the onion rings and peas and sweet corns that come with the offers so I thought we finish them off tonight before the reach the Use By date.

No you can keep your clothes on tonight, I thought you could have a night off. What you want me to take all my clothes off, why. Just for fun, a striptease as a reward for all the male medical model work you have done for me. Ok, that’s fair. Then afterwards you want me to lie naked on the kitchen table. Why? 

Because we still have to finish all the ice creams that came with the offers. Forget Samantha and Sex and the City, this will be Ice Cream Delights on a Birmingham Kitchen table, you can all do this at home, just make sure you take advantage of supermarket offers first.














Singapore stick your tongue out

Singapore stick your tongue out you are infected with Michael Casey SOB you have 75% of what USA has already ME a tiny place, Geographically...