Blind Man’s Buff ©
By Michael Casey
I was wondering what to talk about and now the house is
quiet while my 3 witches have gone AWOL, I still hadn’t an idea, so I had a
look to see who in the World was reading me. It’s the World Barak, the Planet
was a newspaper in Superman, or is one of us getting confused? So I checked out my readers and noticed Italy
was taking a peek, so the Pope must be hiding in his study having a laugh at my
words. Germany is also looking a lot lately, so much so that I posted
maybe his shoe loving predecessor is looking at me to, from
Germany.
Well I have to amuse myself
someway, the days of popping out to the Theatre to watch a play are beyond me,
so I write instead. Whereas Shakespeare killed two birds with one stone, he
wrote them and staged them and may have even acted in them. The closest I get
to Shakespeare is the pub on the high street.
Barry White has just told me to give you all my undivided
attention, so I’ll get to the plot, or am I too much like Dave Allen, in that I
meander? Well do you all remember Blind Man’s Buff? We all played it as kids,
it cost nothing, you can your old snotty handkerchief as a blindfold. It wasn’t
invented by a mixed up torturer either, blindfold the victim and then sneak
about hitting him. Though I hope none of my readers are bad boys and use the
idea.
If any of you are torturers then remember this, a wet lettuce in the
hands of an expert is a very dangerous thing, so I will seek you out and you
will feel my wet lettuce. So I hope that puts the fear of God into you, failing
that google Larry Grayson the camp British comedian, then be very afraid that
he goes not come and get you. He has a Black Belt 7th Dan in
knitting and crochet, and what he did to
his Postman Pop it in Pete would make your eyes water. Ok, no Torture.
Now where was I, can I borrow your chair Larry, and can you
get my pills, Isla St. Clair may have them in your sewing basket. All this talk
of torture has but me off my stride. Now, this chair in uncomfortable I need to
plump my cushions, ah, that’s better, a good plump is always good. The trouble
is Lech, Boris and Gregorgi have turned up and they think everything I say is a
metaphor or is it meteor? I told them there is a sack of potatoes in the garden
so they’ll go off and make Poteen in the garden shed.
Now I’ll talk about blind man’s buff. It’s a fun game and we
can all enjoy it, innocent fun on a summers day. Walking around on tiptoe so as
not to be heard, and not to be caught out. Lots of laughter and arguments and
fighting, and storming off, rather like Politics or Theatre. You have to listen
hard if you are blindfolded to try and catch your prey. If you are not
blindfolded you whisper or use sign language so as not to be caught. You even hold out the yard brush or the mop so
the blind man catches that instead of you. Or in our family you swish the dog’s
tail against your sisters bare knee to make her jump. Or even hold out the cat
for her to touch and catch and get scratched. Normal family fun.
Being blind is not fun though, you have to adapt. If you are
lucky you get a dog to be your eyes, I saw
a lady training a black Labrador today and if I’m lucky enough to get a
dog soon, no I’m not blind, I’d get a black
dog. Maybe I should call the dog Churchill. Churchill called his melancholy,
his depression Black Dog, so you don’t need to read Boris Jonson’s book now as
I’ve removed the blindfold.
A blindfold can be a good thing, it protects you from seeing
too much when you are a journalist visiting terrorists for that scoop. But
normally a journalists is there to remove the blindfolds of ignorance. A journalist
is the little boy that says the King isn’t wearing new clothes, he is in fact
naked. That’s why free press is so important. We had an item on Beyond 100 Days
on the BBC, it showed scores if not 100s of small tv stations mouthing the same
script. Sadly in USA there is too much of this. It is bad of Democracy.
The only way to know what really is happening is by having a
look at several different media outlets and not just those from your own point
of view. Perhaps if the newsreaders were naked then some might watch and then
broaden their opinions. Stormy Daniels and 17 others reading the news perhaps?
Radio 4 on the BBC is the best news coverage in my experience of 50 years of
being a news junkie, and remember you can take a radio to bed or in the shower
with you. But do remember one thing, to blindfold the radio or use plastics, otherwise
your radio will steam up in the bathroom, while you wash your ignorance
away. Pass the soap Stormy.
