Master Class in Swearing

Master Class in Swearing (c)

 by Michael Casey

Master Class in Swearing

I was having a conversation from the sofa

and I was swearing

yes I swear

My dad worked in a foundary

Oh gosh, you need yo be careful

or you could possible be hurt

as if they ever spoke like that

JUMP the &&&& out the way you piece of S((((*

IF the steel jumps, you are a **((* Ghost and far from holy

Let's go to the Cock Inn

or The Blue Gates

Or maybe the Red Cow

Just some of the pubs back then

Or the Locomotion Engine

Or the Saqi Club

or The Cape of Good Hope

we have  brand new hospial down the road

cost a Billion

but we got it in our area

In Grove Lane behind the old grove cinema

*&&***ing stupid name they gave it

Dudley Rd was always DUDLEY RD

they renamed that to City Hospital

it was alway dudley rd

opposite Saint Patricks

where I was an altar boy and reader

then the new one is called a fancy name

call it the ())*(*)*(ing GROVE hospital

yes real people talk like that

especially when they are angry

SO

I was talking about language to this girl I know

and it got heated

she was kind and diplomatic

and ever so helpful

this was a private conversation like you have with Tina your bestie

So she was giving clever and funny answers

BUT in the end as my Tinnitus was hammering me

and this cold weather is like a hammer to the head

most of you reading this might never. recover

so I'm talking to her, and it was like trying to hold away

she kept slip sliding away, or like Tina trying to avoid Tony

the octopus at the Christamas party if you know what I mean

Like linguistcally like

I get emails thinking I'm soft, but having an open heart does

NOT mean I'm a pushover

I know how to say )(***)(*) you piece of *()** you  *)*)*(* YOU

you can fill in the blanks yourself

Being a writer does not mean I'm this or that or the other

I can call a spade a shovel and far far worse

so (*&***( to all of you who send me rubbish in an email

AND

If you assume because i say a few prayer so I'm a holy Joe

I'll give you almighty kick in the ))))&&&

if you ever get the wrong side of me

and if you dare patronise me

(*&*&*(&*(

&***&&*^

(((&(&*(&*(

*)))()(()()

I was going to fill the page but _)())_()_. YOU

you get my meaning

Yes I can write airy fairy, but I dnn't as a rule

I write the way I talk

I spent 20 years LISTENING and a year maybe practicing

I wrote my first full length book, 

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey

and on 29 th Feb 1988 It was finished , and I had graduated

then I wrote Shoplife a play which was accepted by a theatre

but never finally produced

If I  asked for 3 million to stage a play woud you give it to me

ITs  economics stupid

so since then I'm good enough

so )(**()*()*() to anybody who says I cannot write

in fact (_(_)(_(_)9 you bunch of *&***)*&)(

Now this is more redacted than the Epstein files

BUT you can see I can and will swear

not for effect, but because I am my Father's son

and I know how to

I will use my metaphorical linguistic acrobatics

BUT a verbal kick in the -00-9090-

IF you dare push your luck

He does bite, as somebody once remarked in my hotel days

Nowadays Comedians swear 10 times, because they are NOT funny

whereas a well placed *&&9 has ten times the power

IN Apocalypse Now , a GI wrote GGGG on a missile 

and was put on a charge for Obscenity

I remember Janine Bird and me talked about that

over 40 years ago

She will have forgotten me by now

Words and language bring memories and evoke memories

and can be all manner of things

Soft, gentle, weak, strong, tender or bawdy

so Me and my friend tonight covered a lot of ground

But in the end I had to stand my ground

and state or curse equivocally

what I wanted to say and not how I refuse to be pigeon holed

I'll do the opposite to annoy you

and to prove my independence

I am Michael Casey. SOB , son of a blacksmith

but I misdirect you to prove my indeendence

I am a metaphorical linguistic acrobat

I am a Master of my Art

of rubbish maybe in your eyes

BUT I am proud of my ability without boasting

57 years in love with words

and qualified as a writer since 29288 leap year's day

so you can go jumo in the _))()_()_( you )(*(*()*

If you dare denigrate me

Yes I bite and I have dragon's teeth

So have you got the picture

I can use all the Letters of the Alphabet

Self Taught

and I can and will throw a dictionary

at you if needs be

more than just a green man