Paxman,
The Mature Times and Me ©
By
Michael Casey
So
I did what you told me to do, I sent them my Elevator Ad and offered my
services. Maybe if I was a bull they would have reacted better, as a bull’s
services are always of great value. You are a countryman at heart Jezza, we
both know that, and have your waders dried out yet? If you just stuff them with
the free issues of The Mature Times from the hotel lobby then leave them upside
down in the corridor by morning they’ll be dry. The absorption qualities are
really amazing, you’ll be glad I gave you this tip, I bet you’ll steal loads of
copies of The Mature Times in the morning, just to dry out your boots in
future.
Be
careful though, they do say the Hound of the Baskervilles was written in your
hotel, Sir Arthur had been on a bender, you know what Medics are like, drinking
from sample bottles and so on, my own daughter wants to be a Dr, so God help us
in the future.
Now
how is the writing coming along? Mary Beard sends her love and says she’ll meet
us at The Trader in Old Forge and Singing Anvil, not next week but the one
after. The Comedy Writers for Beginners continues in the back room of the pub,
in the snog, I mean snug as they used to call it. We have a new member joining
us, he’s a bit shy but he does have a
lot of time on his hands now, he goes by the handle of DC, like those American
Comic Books, he said his last career ended in failure so his wife is
encouraging him to start over.
I
read in the DT, the real newspaper for old people, that, I forgot what I was
going to say next, let me think. I
really have forgotten now, perhaps after I go to the toilet and have a coffee
then I’ll remember. It’s the girls being at home all Summer, its worn me out,
should have had my children before my 40s. Anyway I do miss our evenings together,
if you asked nicely maybe the BBC would give you your old job back.
Or maybe
you could get a job writing for a supermarket magazine, such as Aldi or even
Waitrose. Don’t be angry now but The Mature Times did offer you a position, and
you would get as many copies as you like, perfect for drying out those waders.
Or you could let me do it for you, I could be your nom de plume, and when did
you get an offer like that? In a Tom Sharpe novel, oh.
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