Tuesday 28 December 2021

video

https://www.amazon.co.uk/photos/share/ElFPldGuuQmDYXp1jOB0HepBAj7NvVKbWgE7tXHzzsN

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The Japanese are turning into Birmingham so here's some books for them, again

The Japanese are turning into Birmingham

Well the Japanese are reading me so hello to you all

I know you found the links the figures here and on Wordpress tell me that

Maybe you all think I'm a Sumo, whatever Glad to meet you

Or maybe Nagasaki has found me too, so hello to all of you

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is 600 pages or so

The ALL file is Altogether Now an omnibus of 11 books all squeezed together

So if you are reading that, then you have half a Sumo of me

JAPANESE Translations on my Wordpress

So 125 Million of you to be Converted to my humour

Osaka hello to you too, we have a friend over there

His son is doing a Gaming Degree

So how about using all my material in some way

I have 2 student daughters who were there a few years ago

So plug in Osaka 

and let

 Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham

be a cult in  Japan

Well its nice to dream anyway

That Billionaire who was in space did not send me that clock

I was cheeky enough to ask

I could me a model for Sumo size Kimonos

I'm sure he'll email me soon michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

Or he could print my poems on Kimonos 

or my words on toilet paper

Or a talking toilet paper dispenser 

So a  Michael Casey story read to you while you pooh

Pooh and learn English with Michael Casey

Though I did suggest that to somebody recently

But no rushing to the toilet in reply

YET

That''s all for today my back is getting better

but still not fully right

my SALTER scales came and we weighed everybody

Including Totoro or cat, 6 kilos of Ninja pussy


ページ1 Quick Stories in JapaneseDownload
japanese-translation-of-the-butcher-the-baker-and-the-undertakerDownload
japan-all-filee5ae8ce585a8e381abe4bb8aDownload
Japanese elevator AdvertDownload

As Japan has started to read a lot here are 4 files for them, one is 9/10 book all in one More than a million words translated into Japanese

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Monday 27 December 2021

A quick message to finish me off

 after I post/ write. I backup and add to my container file if its a story

this is a chat so I don't add it

not unless by some miracle it turns out somebody wants all of me

Anyway I always bore you about PAIN

I had a PAIN ATTACK a few hours

Like being crushed and barely able the breath

Like a puppet whose strings had been cut

Took Painkillers, took 2 hours before that pain lessened

Then watched 77 Heartbreaks a funny Chinese film

Made me laugh and the PAIN had gone away

THough the Eternal Hiss of TINNITUS remains

MY walking is better and my bad bad is improving

a reoccuring injury from 2008/9

Then I decide a few minutes ago to demonstrate 

JUST WHAT MY LIFE IS LIFE

Between the words of Laughter (I Hope)

Then as I talk to you right now the pain descends again

And that's why the Story(c) by Michael Casey and so. on

have be replaced with CHATS like this

So it's more a Bucket Wish list

Marrying again, having 4 more kids and forming a Kpop family

where the new Far Eastern wife is my typist and more

In reality that will never happen, so there is Pathos amongst the pain

40 more years and 8000 more full stories making 10000 in total

It'll never come to pass, a tenth of that

But only if God wishes to punish you all  more

So as you read my words

Look at  the meaning

Look at the laughter

Look over the Horizon, because I am in Birmingham England

Not Japan or Korea or China and places near to them

I'm the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

It's up to you whether I'm worth your time

Or should you carry on with your Selfie life

Though I hope my readers are a clever bunch

Or cleverer than me anyway

So Work, Rest and Play and Read me anyway

And if you Pray, then say one for me, and God's Mercy

Mercy is something we do not deserve by the way

Cos Tinnitus is soul destroying, take it from me

But annoying you all as I sit here and write

Gives me Hope, and maybe Hope will be  Korean nurse/typist

but then again probably not

Though Hope Undertakers was advertised on the radio yesterday

Or am I fooling you?

Maybe I'm a good writer after all...



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Back seems a lot better, after 2 weeks of trouble but...

Back seems a lot better, after 2 weeks of trouble but...

if you nudge me I'll scream

I used to weigh myself every day

16stone 4 used to be my constant weight 20 years ago

but now with Lockdown  and Tinnitus

getting u because of no sleep I have added a lot

127 kilos now

My legs are incredibly strong

Decades standing up and carrying stuff

So I've bought a SALTER scales

I remember I had a Job interview with them in West Bromwich in 1978

I failed the interview and the retiring person chose a little kid instead

So the kid got the job and was trained by him

ME, I ended up in Computers, thank God for that

So if you were the kid in 1978 who started at SALTER

do say HELLO and tell me how your life turned out

I'd forgotten all that till today

I don't think they need the free PUBLICITY 

15 years Guarantee too, though I doubt I'll last that long

The scales will though

my daughter just chipped in from her side of the "study"

she wants to weigh Totoro our cat

The Ninja killed machine that lives with us

which the girls got because I promised them

a dog if I die or a cat if I have a heart attack

I had what turned out to be a Quadruple 7 years ago on 13th January 

My Tinnitus is screaming, certain noises trigger it

Otherwise Music masks it

Anyway I doubt I'll ever get to 16 stone 4 again

but I've given up the Totoro/Tinnitus time 3/4 or 5 am snacks

So the pounds should roll off

and if you see me standing naked in the front room window

I am weighing myself, not a man offering my wares to passing trade

Like in Amsterdam or a Passion Hotel in Japan

here's my book in Dutch again, with my clothes all on

DUTCH The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker TRANSLATION

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DUTCH The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker TRANSLATION

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Sunday 26 December 2021

When Santa. Lost his HO HO HO

Monday, 18 December 2017

When Santa Lost his HO HO HO

When Santa Lost His Ho Ho Ho ©
By
Michael Casey

Christmas is a time of Love and Cheer and too many drinks of beer. For Santa its a time of giving and comes after Thanksgiving, he circles the Earth sprinkling Love and Laughter and Hope or the hereafter. But something was wrong, there was a stink and there was a pong, because Santa had lost his Ho Ho Ho. Santa was Ho Ho Ho less, he couldn’t even say God Bless when he tucked the Elves up in bed. Rudolf was sick with worry and knew he’d have to hurry, for without his Ho Ho Ho the sleigh just would not go.

Rudolf flew to the North Pole to ask the Polar Bears what to do, but they had hardly a clue. The Polar Bears suggested Rudolf asked the Eskimos in Alaska. So Rudolf flew alone to ask the Eskimos in Anchorage what to do, but even they did not have a clue. So Rudolf had an ice lolly with the Huskies, they were always kind and playful, especially Vincent their leader who loved leading, that way he did not have to look at another dog’s behind as they pulled their sleigh.

Vincent said try Lapland, so Rudolf went back to Finland to find Santa’s Ho Ho Ho. Rudolf looked high and low and even places where a reindeer should never go. Rudolf met a BigFoot hidden in the trees who was quietly having a wee. Rudolf followed the yellow snow  and asked politely where he should go to find Santa’s Ho Ho Ho. BigFoot was taken aback, how did you find me? Rudolf explained I have a Red Nose I can find anything, but yellow pee is a give away for a reindeer such as me. BigFoot blushed and scratched his head, it really was time for bed. But before he went to bed this is what he said. My friend is Nessy the Loch Ness Monster, if you ask her then maybe she’ll be able to help you find Santa’s Ho Ho Ho.

Rudolf thanked BigFoot, telling him to eat more peas and that would help disguise his wees in the snow. And with a glow Rudolf was gone, high high in the air, almost on a stairway to heaven, though for Santa it was the opposite, for Santa had lost his Ho Ho Ho. Rudolf flew to Bonnie Scotland, he got lost and stopped by a bonnie wee house, it was Alex Salmond’s. So Rudolf started speaking in Russian and doing Cossack dancing and all manner of prancing. Alex came out with a mug of hot chocolate for Rudolf, he spoke in Russian too, he could go along with any jest, especially when just wearing his best string vest.
Alex was mortified when he heard that Santa had lost his Ho Ho Ho, so he phoned his best friend Nick Robinson the Radio4 morning gossip show host. Nick Robinson dropped the phone such was his shock, Christmas with out Santa and his sleigh and no Ho Ho Ho. Nick shed a tear, then he remembered he had a friend, not just Alex Salmon his besty but Olga Takesometimeoff.

Olga Takesometimeoff was the dinner lady at the BBC, she pushed the tea trolley for 70 years. The bosses always said she should Take some time off, so that became her name, Olga Takesometimeoff. Now she knew everybody, their mums and dads and grandparents too, everybody told her everything. So when a tear stained Nick Robinson came to her trolley she took one look at him and slapped his face hard knocking his glasses off. This is the BBC, WE never cry, we will fight them on the beaches, we will never never surrender. I said that to Churchill, and look what did he do? He used MY words in a speech. With that she explained that she knew the private phone number of the Russian Ambassador in London.

So Rudolf armed with the phone number rung the Russian Ambassador, and asked for his help in finding the Loch Ness Monster. The Ambassador said he’d help as a special favour to Olga Takesometimeoff, and to Alex Salmond now that he worked for RT. So it was arranged that a Russian mini sub would sneak into Loch Ness and find Nessy for Rudolf. The Royal Navy were livid when the American’s told them what was planned.

The American’s listen to everybody’s phones after all. But Olga Takesometimeoff may have a Russian sounding name but really her name was Drake-Nelson, Olga Drake-Nelson. So she did ring up the 1st Sea Lord who was her grandson. So it would be a chance for the Royal Navy to play me and my shadow with the Russians, testing some new kit Q had invented. Yes Q really does exist, he is not just a made up person in James Bond. Santa had given Q a Chemistry set as a child, Rudolf said it was dangerous, and Q burnt his eyebrows off. So Q went to school with painted on eyebrows that his sister had drawn on, just like Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades did.

So the Russian’s found the Loch Ness Monster with the Royal Navy watching their every bubble. Rudolf flew low and landed on the Russian sub which surfaced so Nessy and Rudolf could chat. Meanwhile in London the Russian ambassador met for a quiet drink with the foreign secretary in the Crown. The British were so angry they make the Russians pay for the Stella Artois, they did pay for the nibbles though. Both sides had to perform the pantomime that is Diplomacy. But both men were relieved that Nessy was found, and with the help of God and 2 foreign navies Santa’s Ho Ho Ho could be found.

They had tears in their eyes, but the Russian ambassador gave the foreign secretary a fur hat as an early Christmas present. The foreign secretary gave a copy of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey to the Russian. Is this a punishment? Joked the Russian. You should have Mr Casey on RT reading his stories said the foreign secretary poker faced, to be honest he was not a fan of Alex Salmond, Christmas or no Christmas. Putting his new Russian fur hat on his head the British foreign secretary left the Crown pub, he did grab the last of the nibbles though.

Nessy had lived for ages in the Loch so she had seen Santa Ho Ho Hoing through the sky for many a year, a 1000 years at least. What Nessy knew was that it was the Love of the World kept Santa going. But not just the Love but, the need of Love. So in fact what Santa needed was not Love but the opposite. He needed a challenge, Norad tracking him was not enough, the world had grown complacent. Santa needed the world’s biggest challenge to put fire in his brimstone, to make his cheeks glow, to make his chest swell.

In Heaven Mum called Saint Michael to her side, you saved the Russian spaceman after you saved Mrs Murphy. Saint Michael bowed. Would you be prepared to stand in for Santa Claus? I am humbled, but there is only one Santa. Mum smiled, Michael had such humility. But you were at Stalingrad, you helped stop the Nazi filth. Saint Michael blushed, he thought nobody knew. I have a request for you Michael, can you be by Santa’s side and step in and save the day if you have to? To serve is to obey.

Santa saddled up the sleigh, Saint Michael was in the back invisible to his eyes. Rudolf said a prayer and the reindeer leapt from the highest mountain of the North Pole. The sleigh dropped like a stone. They would have crashed straight into Nanook of the North’s igloo, but somewhere in the world a child’s lonely disparate prayer went up. I just wish I could see Santa before I die, even if I got no present, not even one grain of rice.   

Now that was the kind of prayer Santa needed to bring back his Ho Ho Ho, the sleigh rose and rose high into the sky. The red rosy cheeks glowed redder than Rudolf’s nose. Saint Michael kissed his sword, he knew he’d be needing it where the were going. Where in the world would a child long for love, for a grain of rice, for the chance to see Santa.

North Korea where love of God had been replaced by the love of war, the love of nuclear weapons. The love of fear, the land of the note book, all led by crooked power, not the power of love, but dictatorship from above. So the reindeer flew without fear, Saint Michael drew his sword, Santa was on a mission, it was Stalingrad all over again. Evil must be defeated.

The reindeer zigged and zagged as missiles flew trying to knock Santa from the sky. Saint Michael batted them away, he diced and spliced the evil North Korean missiles away. Santa Ho Ho Hoed the missiles away, a force field of love and laughter. He had his sack and they would never sack him. This was his job, his future for all eternity, he had Saint Michael by his side. The reindeer could feel the child’s cries, it was coming from the deep. In the deep the metro system. Hidden away in a secret jail next to the hidden nuclear bombs was a child jailed and chained to a wall for having a pretty picture of a Nativity in his pocket.

The reindeer flew straight down the stairwell bullets flying at them from the evils guards. Saint Michael spread his wings, Santa ho ho hoed, Rudolf’s nose was as red as Mercury. And then Saint Michael sang just as he had sung in Stalingrad, Ave Maria.

The sleigh landed on a platform and Saint Michael split the cell door in two with one swipe of his sword. Chained to a wall a child was dying, clutching the colour photo of the Nativity in his hand. Saint Michael broke the chains with his bare hands. Santa cried and his tears fell as grains of rice. The child said thank you as he died in Saint Michael’s arms. Saint Michael wrapped his wing around the child.

I bring Peace and Goodwill to all men said Santa as he remounted his sleigh. And I have a message from Stalingrad to North Korea said Saint Michael. So as Santa flew back into the sky to continue on his Christmas journey, Saint Michael shared the Stalingrad spirit. Every single nuclear weapon in North Korean was hit by his sword, and they all exploded 300 metres underground.

Carry the child’s body to heaven Saint Michael left a white trail behind him. Grains of rice, that Christmas rice fell from the sky onto North Korea. And in the distance above the muffled sounds of nuclear explosions underground, you could hear Santa going Ho Ho Ho, as he and Saint Michael had the last laugh.         



at  

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in bed at Xmas

bad back and Tinnitus explosion , SO

in bed at Xmas, 

no I wasn't copying John Lennon

No Yoko Ono with me

though Japan is reading a lot lately 

So maybe my Ono will turn up

we have 4 babies and start a Jpop family

But that idea is even more far fetched than my others

it could be somebody pretending to be in Japan

I'm no Prince, I am very common 

Would a Japanese Princess want me?

I can hear you all laughing all the way from

Nagasaki, where the Jesuits first landed

Put Barry White on

YOU cannot beat a bit of Barry

So I thank JAPAN for finding me

Japanese Translations of a few books on my Wordpress

BUT you are clever so you'll Translate everything yourself

MY daughters and our Taiwan guest ended up playing

Monopoly on the living room carpet

We still don't really understand what MA in Chemical Engineer means

It's beyond me, but she is very clever obviously

And Totoro our cat liked her, did not run away

So that's all for today, pain killer is calling me

Enjoy discovering me

michaelgcasey@hotmail.com  is my email

That billionaire did not send me that clock

I was too cheeky

Maybe he'll just invest in my stories

Stay happy Always

Michael Casey




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