small daughter is still not back for Christmas
so big sister had to take over decorating our Christmas tree
I think she was even better but don't tell her
We are having a meteor shower tonight over Europe so look up
Here's a Christmas Tale from 2018
IF only we could turn back time....
its one of my 3 cousins tales
Lech, Boris and Gregorgi Save Christmas ©
By
Michael Casey
The cousins had decided to buy and trade a few old Army Surplus materials. Putin has updated his army so there was a lot of old kit being thrown away. So obviously the enterprising cousins decided this was their chance. There were all kinds of everything for sale at rock bottom prices, such as Arctic gear, and even parachutes and an ancient flame thrower or two. Junk to you or me, but to the cousins it was an opportunity.
Sometime what is discarded becomes the most important thing, like a broken heart healed by love, or the dream of a dead mother on the feast of Saint Francis, that comes to heal and strengthen. But I’m talking about the Slav cousins, and their wives just laughed at them, they were just so stupid, but that made them love them the more. So as the wives sharpened their knives ready for the Christmas preparations, which meant death for some of the animals, but it for good purpose, to celebrate the feast of Christmas.
Amongst the junk was an old military radio or two, so the cousins’ children were allowed to play with one. To their surprise they were able to contact some other children, so soon there was a radio friendship. It turned out that they had discovered School 76 in Novablizt, which was a fair distance from where they all lived. It was a boarding school for children of army officers, really they should not be talking to outsiders. But it was a military frequency on an old channel, so that’s how the wall came down.
As Lech, Boris and Gregorgi rummaged through their treasure their children were enjoying the radio. It turned out that the parents of School 76 were in reality Space Engineers, they would not say more than that, but it was interesting to say the least. Now Christmas was approaching fast and the cousins had managed to sell boots and coats and the like, so they were content, they had at least made some money. There was the Christmas feast on the horizon and their wives were glowing, happy and so deeply in love. However when all the cousins’ children explained all the anticipated fun and love that they would have to the children of School 76 they were met with sadness.
You see at School 76 the parents would be working far away, launching satellites into space for the highest bidder. Christmas was lost to them, duty came first, if only they got to see a fake Santa, it would be fun amongst all the books. Now Lech, Boris and Gregorgi were saddened when they heard this, Christmas without even a fake Saint Nicolas, this was too much.
Their wives looked at them and all the children looked at them. We need to talk to your fathers said the three mothers. So the three mothers took the three cousins to the 3 bedrooms. It is always best to discuss things in a comfortable environment. 6 hours later, the mothers emerged smiling, and the cousins emerged too. It had been decided, the 3 mothers would sacrifice their 3 cousin husbands for Christmas. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi would bring Christmas to School 76.
Now School 76 is not on any map as it was classed as Military even though it was just a boarding school. So a map reference was sent and Lech marked it on a map with Rudolf’s nose, that was all the map they would need. They loaded their snow plough with items they might need, and what could they bring the students? Boiled eggs painted and some English chocolate, Cadburys of course, and some Oranges. There was some vodka too, but that was for any stray teachers or caretakers. It was the thought that counted, there would not be any other gifts as such, or so was the plan. You see the school was in a remote area and Lech, Boris and Gregorgi may have to walk in the last leg.
When School 76 heard the news they erupted. They would not only get one fake Santa but three. Carols erupted from School 76, but the could not tell the teachers, the caretaker staff as it was still technically called a Military establishment. So with a final kiss to their wives, who were probably pregnant by now, what do you think they were doing for 6 hours, knitting? So Lech, Boris and Gregorgi set off to bring Christmas to School 76. As they dove away a fancy 4x4 passed in the opposite direction, paths had been crossed.
In the 4x4 was Mikhail Mikhailovich who you will remember was the Spaceman who had a visit from the Archangel Saint Michael, by sheer chance he was driving through Lech, Boris and Gregorgi’s village.Now there is no such thing as coincidence, there is only the will of God. Mikhail Mikhailovich went into the inn and had some food and a rest, he was going to plough on and get home for Christmas himself but then the Heavens opened and it was a Whiteout, a mountain of snow had fallen. So he just knew he’s be spending Christmas there, Mikhail Mikhailovich was soon telling tales and enjoying all the company. His eyes popped open wide when he heard what Lech, Boris and Gregorgi were up to, he had studied at School 76 himself in his youth before he became the world’s greatest Cosmonaut and then the world’s greatest storyteller.
I actually drove past them, will they be safe? They are like Polar Bears replied the three wives, besides we’ll kill them if they don’t come back, as they brandished their knives. Besides we are all pregnant so they will not abandon an unborn baby at Christmas. How many weeks are you pregnant asked Mikhail Mikhailovich? About 15 hours not weeks came the proud reply.Mikhail Mikhailovich blushed, this was like one of his stories, but true.
Mikhail Mikhailovich took out his satellite phone and recited another story so that Radio Russia would have a new story over Christmas. Then the military radio crackled, it was Lech, Boris and Gregorgi. Well we are 20k short of our destination, the snow plough cannot go any further so we will walk. We have skis and a sledge, it will be fun. Everybody looked out the window and saw the snow, it was deadly dangerous.Mikhail Mikhailovich took the microphone, hello I’m Mikhail Mikhailovich can I help in any way? We love stories replied the 3 in unison. I was meaning help in getting to your destination? We think we will be ok, we have vodka to keep us warm and multiple layers too, we have got old USSR army kit, so we should be just fine.
Mikhail Mikhailovich looked about him, these fine people deserved their own Archangel, so he took out his satellite phone. In seconds he was talking to Chuck from the USA, his friend Tim Peak who was back in space again, and Petrov a fine Russian cosmonaut. Mikhail Mikhailovich was talking to the Heavens Above AKA the Space Station. Hello guys, do you want to test that new thing you have. In seconds it was decided, it was a method of tracking Polar Bears, but now it would be tracking 3 polar bears called Lech, Boris and Gregorgi.
The only problem was their was no radio tracking device on a collar, just a vintage USSR radio. Looking around again, Mikhail Mikhailovich rung his good friend Esther, the mother of the zillionaire space satellite magnate. Shalom he began, and then Mikhail Mikhailovich explained, Esther would help he knew it. Ester put her cards down she was playing poker in Vegas, the winner chose which Charity got the pot, 10million had been raised just through her poker habit, if you can remember back to the Malta story. A phone rang in the situation room at the Pentagon, the ring tone was If I were a Rich Man sung by Topol, an actual one off recording just for a ring tone.If you are zillionaire then you can have such things.Sorry said the zillionaire turning to General Jim Mathis, mom insisted on the ring tone. In seconds all was explained and Esther went back to her poker, she wanted to win.
The zillionaire looked around, I wasn’t going to show you this yet, but a friend wants a favour. So with General Jim Mathis looking on the zillionaire brought up the satellite image. It was not perfect but through the snow Lec, Boris and Gregorgi could be made out. We’re guiding them through the snow to School 76. So the zillionaire spoke to Mikhail Mikhailovich and then he guided the three cousins.
In deep deep snow they went up and down and around and around , and this way and that way, leaving a trail as they dragged their sledge. High in space the zillionaire and brought a couple of other satellites into play, it was Christmas after all, they were not the three Magi, but they had friends in high places, very high places. But then disaster, the radio broke down, at minus 20 even a thirty year old USSR radio had to come to the end of their life.
All we can do is watch and pray, said General Jim Mathis as he looked up from the book Esther had sent him, first edition of a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.So watching from on high they all watched and prayed. Three cousins, Lech, Boris and Gregorgi would go around and around until the cold killed them. From space they tracked their route, then the zillionaire spotted a pattern. Marked in the snow was PAX VOBISCOM, or Peace Be With You. Then through the snow the satellite could see a sledge drawn by enormous reindeer, there was a giant of a man on board. The giant waved at the sky as if he knew the satellites were all watching him.
Santa Claus himself had come to rescue them, if the Archangel Saint Michael had saved Mikhail Mikhailovich why shouldn’t Santa Claus save three Slav heroes called Lech,Boris and Gregorgi. And that is how Christmas was saved by Lech, Boris and Gregorgi or rather how Santa Claus saved them. School 76 had the best Christmas ever, 3 fake Santas plus the real thing. Now if you think this story is far fetched, just watch Norad track Santa this and every Christmas. And if you still don’t believe me, why are there photos of the Real Father Christmas locked in General Jim Mathis’ safe with a signed copy of a Christmas Carol on top. Marked 25 levels higher than TOP SECRET.
Lech, Boris and Gregorgi Rescue the Old People’s Home ©
By
Michael Casey
Well as we are all stuck in the snow I’ve decided to share this story, you can believe it or not, its up to you. It’s 1st March 2018, Putin is boasting about his toys of war, as are other leaders. Can we just put these things away and advance science for all Mankind instead? The best of all our people is in its Spirit. So let me tell Putin and Kim and Trump a story about real Spirit. This is the story of how Lech, Boris and Gregorgi rescued 100 old people trapped in a blizzard with medicine and food running out.
Now Popaloffoff lies somewhere in the East where Poland, Ukraine and Russia make love on the map. They make love in bed too but I’m just trying to give you an estimation of where it is. Up in the mountains along a winding road and perched like an eagle looking down on a fast flowing river is an old monastery that is also an old people’s home for locals. So priests and shepherds live there, the priest paint icons and the shepherds produce the finest vodka anywhere in the world, if you live in that climate you need a good drink.
This Winter 2017/2018 has been bad, today 1st March 2018 the weather is savage. Lech and Boris and Gregorgi got a call on the CB radio, Shepherd down, we are running out of supplies especially medicine. We may have to burn the icons to keep warm. Now to anybody in the East an icon is a Holy Holy thing, its worth more than gold, worth more than beating USA at the ice hockey. I’m whispering this now but an icon is worth more than Vodka.
So when the message came on the CB radio Lech, Boris and Gregorgi had to do something. The Blizzard could go to Hell, in fact it could kiss Gregorgi’s fat ass, and his ass was fat, very fat indeed. They mounted their snowploughs and drove to base. Grit was poured to over-brimming on all three trucks, and a trailer was attached to each. Not forgetting a case of vodka in each cabin. With a blessing from an atheist they departed.
Only a fool, a madman, and a believer would even attempt it in this weather, but that would describe the Trio. In Popaloffoff they got the message that help was on its way, then the CB died. So they huddled together and prayed. A few of the icons were near the fire for when the firewood ended. Now as I said before Saint Michael considers Lech, Boris and Gregorgi to be his friends. As for the icons they have special powers too, but more of that later.
Driving in a blizzard is no fun, the Trio laughed and joked and cursed at each other over the radio. They were on a mission, a mission from God. They were not Blues Brothers they were Slavic cousins, and they were better drivers. Slip sliding away they went, round and round a garden like a teddy bear one step two step and a tickle under there. Good job there was vodka on the seat beside them. It was barely above freezing inside the cab, though they had their furs to keep them warm. That bear had nearly killed them 10 years ago, but they had sworn an oath to high Heaven that if they did not die they would repay the favour. So now wrapped in that bear’s clothes it was time to repay that debt. Popaloffoff was calling them, I saved your 3 lives, now you must save the least of my brethren.
It was logical, well logical to a fool, a madman and a believer, they were each and all of those things. They had visited Popaloffoff when they were kids and it had made a big big impression, so now, they had to do it, they just had to answer the call. Slip sliding away, the trailers sliding like a puppet on a string.
Disaster almost struck. Lech was leading his plough veered to the left, then magically it shot to the right along the mountain road. Boris and Gregorgi swore they saw an angle appear and push his truck back on the road. Was it the vodka, it was hard to tell through all the snow. It was Saint Michael himself, he had skin in this game, as did all the angels and saint on the icons.
After that save, like a diving ice hockey player in the Olympic final, Saint Michael was joined by a multitude of angels. If their icons were burned it did not matter, saving the lives of a Trio such as Lech, Boris and Gregorgi did matter.
Now the road to Poploffoff is very dangerous and you an slip off and never be seen again, or until Spring comes and the snow melts. The wind howled and the snow fell. The vodka was drunk as the Trio drunk through the blizzard. How they stayed on the road nobody would ever know, but if you were an angel looking down you could see snow angels in the snow to the left and to the right as angels pushed the truck to keep it on the road. Hundreds of snow angels made in the snow by real angels. But you don’t believe me, do you? You think I’m drinking vodka?
The fire was burning low so the priest with tears in his eyes put an icon on the fire. Then he closed his eyes, he did not want to see his sin. 100 people and more huddled around a fire with their eyes closed, begging the angles and saints to forgive them for their sin. The angles and saints were crying, not for their icons but because they were humbled to see such Faith.
Lech, Boris and Gregorgi drove on the perilous road, slip, sliding away. They cursed each other more, to encourage each other more. Then a tragedy, the vodka was finished. They fell silent, not long to go now, they had to concentrate more, the road was at its most dangerous now. Saint Michael called for reinforcements, a wall of angels their wings outstretched with swords drawn lined the road. Nothing would prevent them from getting to Popaloffoff now, only the Devil himself had come to see what was happening, he had smelt the scent of burning icons.
While Saint Michael hacked at the Devil with his sword Lech’s truck went over the cliff. It was hanging half on and half off the road. Boris and Gregorgi slammed on the brakes on their trucks. He would be dead in seconds. Only then 3 enormous bears appears and pulled the trailer and truck back on the road. The bears disappeared to be replaced by a golden angel, a beautiful golden angel.
Nobody said anything they drove in silence up the mountain road to Popaloffoff. They entered the courtyard and ran to refectory where everybody had been gathered. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi handed out medicine and food and unpacked the supplies. A madman, a fool and a believer had saved the day.
The Trio looked about and could see the icons that had been put on the fire. But when they took them out they noticed something, they wiped the soot away and the icons were perfect, intact. Babushka asked the trio to follow her to where she had been painting a new icon. She turned the icon around, and there Lech, Boris and Gregorgi could see a golden angle with 3 bears on it.
I need a drink they said in unison. So they had a drink, a real good drink. In fact they were given the recipe for Popaloffoff vodka, so if you wonder why Lech, Bori and Gregorgi are in Warley Woods or any woods for that matter its is because they are attending to their still. Oh, and before I forget, I have an angel on my wall as I talk to you all. And as for golden angel icon with 3 bears on, that is on the wall in Putin’s private office, as well as a few bottles of Popaloffoff vodka. Pope Francis has been invited to Russia you know, maybe Putin will give him a photocopy of the icon, or just some Popaloffoff vodka.
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well if only Russia lost Putin in the snow, and hope and love and laughter returned
I've written 10 Lech Boris and Gregorgi stories over the years
BEFORE Putin went mad
IF only, that's my Christmas wish
but you can all Pray for it.
