Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

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Welcome President Z

Posted bymichaelgcasey08/02/2023Posted inUncategorizedEditWelcome President Z

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Thank you Jasmine and Zum

Thank you Jasmine and Zum

fancy browser and Korean web search

most of my writing is right here

going back years

but not all of it

4150 pieces on this site alone

past year I'm talking and praying for Ukraine

so if you go back before Putin

and his Genocide

Its mainly COMEDY or Humour

with English spellings

My Wordpress has the most Translations

and WORD and PDF Translations

In Full and Pasted in

So you all can suffer equally

The diseases I mention are not made up

I'm not a spammer or a liar

CKD, Quadruple Heart Bypass, Arthritis and DANDRUFF

all belong to me , as well as TINNITUS. which is killing me

and yes I'd really like that speed typist

so I can write Tears for a Butcher a 600 page sequel

to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker which is 600 pages already

But what are the chances that an Oriental lady would want to type for me

and risk having 4 kids and forming a Kpop band with me as the manager

Impossible like a man from Netflix wanting to produce my book

and all my 2000 other stories, maybe I'm talking to Myself

But some say Prayer is just that, Talking to yourself

or is that writing, perhaps I need more Tablets,

Like Moses

To write upon

But remember this nothing is Impossible to God

Does he have a Netflix subscription

and would he answer my Tinnitus Time Prayers

or just turn a deaf ear to me

Only Time will Tell and That is

God's Biggest Joke, Time

so I'll ask  Mary to hurry things along

Not for my writing, just for Peace in Ukraine

Yesterday if that's Possible...

 50+ years ago, the chaplain Fr.Brain called me Sancho Panza, he became a Bishop

I the 4th son of a Kerry Blacksmith became a Writer

so I really am a. SOB

 50+ years ago, the chaplain Fr.Brain called me Sancho Panza, he became a Bishop

I the 4th son of a Kerry Blacksmith became a Writer

so I really am a. SOB

– February 07, 2023 

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Posted bymichaelgcasey07/02/2023

In adversity you find out who your friends are

In adversity you find out who your friends are

As Nature shakes the land in Turkey and Syria

Ordinary People will see just how good their Government is

Will they rush to save you

Or continue to jail you

Pen you in, for your alleged sins

Or allow the FREE FLOW of AID and HELP

Let's see how Syria behaves to its own people

How much aid will their Benefactor give

Russia has destroyed half of Syria already

And destroying Ukraine as we speak

So how much Charity will Russia offer

or is the only thing Putin can do is DESTROY

1,000,000,000,000 USD wasted already

as well as 200,000 Russians dead

Just for Vanity

But now lets see the amount of Charity

in Putin's heart

Then let others judge the Reality

Putin will spend everything

Lives and Money on his War

On the figment of his Imagination

BUT has he ever saved Souls

Not even his own

Never

The only measure of a man is the size of his Charity

Sunday 5th Feb stay in bed day

Sunday 5th Feb stay in bed day

Tinnitus screaming so i stayed in bed waiting for it to calm down

Safest place to bed

Trust me

I stumbled over a Russian Website

for Needlewomen

I found a needle in a haystack

or is that me

So lets see if I corrupt them

leave messages about Putin corruption

Or is everybody Corrupt in Russia

Cut and paste etc

Other wise

Portugal is nice, got a few whatsapps

Edinburgh is nice too got a few whatsapps

Me I'm here in Birmingham

10 years ago in Malta was my last holiday

my pain can come suddenly

and it does

so I'm stuck here

close to my pain killers

if my pain kicked off I wouldn't be allowed on a plane

maybe I'll get a private jet and nurse/carer

to Malta, there's a Hilton there

Obviously not

But it's good to dream

I do have a story called Nights in Malta

so here's that to read instead

you can all dream of Malta

say a prayer for my Health whichever church you are near

Nights in Malta ©

 

By Michael Casey

 

Before I start I should tell you I had a great week in Malta in 2013 and I long to return, even though it was there that my Arthur my Arthritis started to hit home. I was overjoyed that I could buy Deep Heat in Malta. Now its 4 years on and my unplanned quadruple heart bypass has overtaken me. I was told it was a triple but it was a quadruple I discovered 6 months later.

 

My cKd needs to be watched too, I’m telling you all this so that you can understand just how important it is to me that I can WRITE, its food for my Spirit even if you lot like it or not. So now I’m going to share part of a story that’ll become part of a chapter in Tears for a Butcher my full length sequel to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker.

 

Now read on and apologies to Navy Seals everywhere, please don’t leave a horse’s head in my bed, a Subway one foot long sandwich would be better……

 

So it was all true, Tiny wasn’t mad or just battled out at all, he really was a seer, he saw it all the time, but when he wrote that picture in pencil and crayon the Admiral had to make a decision, so Tiny was grounded, his flippers taken away. So that’s when he became a bodyguard for that zillionaire’s old mum, lucky for there he was there he had to take care of her. He was more like a son to her, and that’s why she always wears a scarf, somebody got to her, before Tiny got to them. It covers the scar.

 

So what happened in Malta? Well Ester made a friend with this Irish woman in Birmingham, the one in England. You know how she likes to have real friends not people sucking up to her son, or trying to get a foot in the door. So when she heard about the triple birth, that was impossible, you’ll have to ask a gyno doctor to explain it. Anyhow Ester prayed like crazy, as only a Jew can pray. And her friend prayed like only an Irish Catholic can. But most of all Rita in Malta who was Mrs Murphy’s friend she prayed like only the Maltese can pray, and after what they put up with from those Nazi SOBs in the war they know how to pray.

 

So these triplets were born in Birmingham, in their Dudley Road hospital. And it was impossible, I can’t explain everything as we haven’t got the time. But it turns out that Rita’s son was the lead gyno  doctor. He had renounced his Faith went his dad had died and he with all his medical knowledge could not save him. But when the triplets were born they each had a Maltese cross birthmark on their shoulder. Mrs Murphy and Rita had met and done a deal, if one helped her friend have a child, just one pregnancy, then Mrs Murphy would pray that her son came back to the Faith.

 

So Almighty God killed two birds with one stone. He sure did, then Ester jumped out of the shadows, she’d flown non stop from Vegas just to be there. Everybody was so excited, Mrs Murphy was crying because she had not kept her side of the bargain. Then the doc revealed himself and it came out that he was Rita’s son. He was an old bachelor, but his nurse had loved him for years. You’re having me on, no for sure, Almighty God was settling all the scores in one day.

 

So they decided to go back to Malta immediately and marry before his old mother died. Only the French air traffic control were on strike, those SOBs are always on strike. So Ester through a bitchy fit, she got Tiny to press the red button on his phone. 14 satellites bleeped and the War Room went to condition amber. He son makes all the military satellites, its a bit like chipping your dog, but with Norad answering.

 

So to keep it short, a Nato war game was interrupted and 4 assault and recovery helicopters descended on down town Birmingham. Took the doc and his crew to Birmingham airport. They put the helicopters on the K734ASD plane and headed for Malta with F15 tomcats as escort. That Zillionaire really loves his mum, and the Joint Chiefs of staff love her too. Mrs Murphy did insist on visiting the duty free at the airport, it frightened a few people, Special Forces ambling through the duty free. But Mrs Mrs Murphy did insist on getting Rita and the soon to be newly weds a few presents. One of the forces chatted up the girl at the checkout and , well that’s another story.

 

My that’s a busy story. It ain’t finished, Ester’s son rang to hire the entire Hilton, only he got suspicious of their tone of voice. So he brought up the Hilton on 3 of his satellites. The Mafia were holding a meeting at the Hilton. When Tiny and the Special forces were informed they just smiled and jump straight out of the plane and cleared the mafia from the Hilton, so it wasn’t a waste of a day as far as Special Forces were concerned.

 

So that’s the end? No. Everything went well and the doc married his nurse in Malta, Rita and Mrs Murphy were overjoyed. Ester’s poker club in Vegas were annoyed because Ester had left them so suddenly. So she set her phone up so that her Vegas friends could play poker against some old Maltese men.

 

It was then that it happened. One of the Mafia had been hiding in a cupboard and sprung out. It was a room full of people and kids too. Tiny was going to do his stuff and save everybody but he was afraid that some kids would get hurt by stray bullets. So he’d have to smother the Mafia guy, Tint would probably die, but everybody would be safe.

 

Ester looked at the statue of the Virgin Mary in the corner of the ballroom, us 2 Jews alone in a room full of Gentiles. Let it be me that dies, I’m old, let it be me not Tiny, he’s like a son to me, he never got that girl he dreamed about. He drew her picture on paper, so pretty, then all red in the left hand side of her face. Please Mary, as one Jew to another, save all these Gentiles.

 

My granny used to ask me to sing for her, why don’t you sing for me.

 

Ester stood up as requested by the only other Jew in the room, so Ester sung something all the Gentiles would love. She sung the Ave Maria, Ester sung the Ave Maria. One by one they all got up and defiantly sung the Ave Maria. The Mafia guy was astounded, a wall of sound, Phil Spector producing Ave Maria.

 

Tiny could see this might give him an edge,and he edged forward ready to leap, ready to save everybody. At that moment Ester’s  prayer was answered, Tiny got to see his girl, for a waitress entered through the far door. She was beautiful beyond compare, and on the left side of her face was a port wine stain birthmark. Now the girl had been teased all her life because of her mark of shame. But she too had had a vision, or rather a voice in a dream. A man from the sea will marry you, the bravest man in the world is the only one good enough for you.

 

At that moment Tiny saw his girl and they both knew the prophecy had been revealed. Would it all end in death. Both begged the Virgin to save the other, let them live even if they died. At that same time  the girl, Rose was her name, she grabbed a saucer and threw it like a frisbee hitting the Mafia guy on his adam’s apple. As he choked Tiny flew with Saint Michael the Archangel himself flapping his wings behind him. The Mafia guy was disarmed and bundled away.

 

So that explains why every Navy Seal in the service is heading for Malta. Its true, we had to ask the Commander in Chief for special permission. He only agreed when we told him that Rose knew Tiny’s service number, she had dreamed it all those years ago.      

the view from my desk to my left

my view from my sofa, behind my desk looking out the window

and this is me

and this is Totoro my 8 year old cat, a promise I kept to my kids

Throw it

Throw it

got  a throw for my bed

Got a bigger size up so it will cover everything

No just my monster body

its cheaper than leaving the heating on overnight

which nobody can afford

Insoles in your shoes make a difference too

Just looking at the University rating

Both daughters Unis are listed

So good luck to them, and their hard work

the throw reminds me of Granma's in Shanghai

many years ago

It was  then that I met Grandpa too

Who sadly died long ago

So I'm glad I met him then

We also chatted to Shanghai today

I hadn't seen them in since 2007

they said I look the same over whatsapp

16 years and I haven't changed

the Uncle I remember so well

He drove us all the way to see

the Cemetery where Grandpa is

michaelgcasey is written on the stone

We are all made of memories

Without them we are nothing

So treasure them

So that's all for today

The pain killers haven't kicked in yet

This is  but a window into my pain filled life

So enjoy what you get when you get it

I'll be back pain permitting another day

As for me I'll stroke the throw

and remember Grandma's bed long ago

Stay happy always

Shanghai and wherever else you may be

I write for Everybody Everywhere

Even if nobody ever pays me

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC?ref_=dbs_p_pbk_r00_abau_000000

Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

sods law

sods law

just finished that Politics piece

now the pain comes down

I'm slapping on my hemp

and popping the paracetamol

as I said to the Renal lady

I have a few hours window, pain free

so I have to do the writing or talk to you

before the dusk of pain arrives

I don't have a straight line day

Its a jigsaw of a day

So QE saw me, happy or so

Even though with Renal lady my shoulder was hurting a bit

SO

enjoy me while I'm here

and send emails to Russia

If they are looking at emails less time for Killing Ukrainians

Politics the Art of the Possible

Politics the Art of the Possible, Kind Of (c)

By Michael Casey

Over here we have enquiries into bullying

He looked at me with the wrong tone of voice

He did not call They

He did not respect my differences

and would not let me use the women's toilets

He did not allow me compete in women's sports

I only shave twice a day, and am 60kilos heavier than the "others"

He is prejudiced

He won't call me Madam

He says I am a bit of a Madam

He says he is honest, decent, legal and truthful

I'm not talking about Trump either

He says he loves people, he's doing it out of the good of his heart

His Resume if I may steal an American word

His Resume is remarkable, he has 3 degrees and says he used to be a singer

He likes to cross dress too, but he needs to shave his legs more often

He said he did not cry, there was something in his eye

He says he's very religious, he only has affairs with vicars daughters

He says they are so pure, and he won't catch any diseases from them

He says he has never taken drugs, and he didn't inhale anyway

He says statues should stay, he says you cannot rewrite History

He says he believe in free speech, but charges 100,000 for 20 mins

He demands the best wine from   the top vine in the Green Room

He wants payment in cash in a vacuum sealed bag

He says the other guy, is a liar a cheat and a fraud and a womaniser

He had to film that a few times, as he was standing by a mirror

And the crew could be seen laughing

He says only HE can lead, and the last result was a mistake

And will he support the official Candidate

No he won't, it’s his ball, so he'll run away

Leaving everybody else on the field with no balls

Literally

And on it goes

This writer here, 

Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham ENGLAND

Grew up watching the Political Interviews with my dad

Sir Robin Day, who was a trained Barrister, no he did not make coffee, 

he was a lawyer, he made mincemeat of Politicians

My dad's line always was "Did he Sweat, Bollocks"

My dad worked in the heat of a steel works for 40 years

The District Iron and Steel, Brasshouse Lane Smethwick

Originally a Blacksmith from Kerry Ireland

So dad would curse, and really curse, as only a foundry man can

As together we watched the Politics, 55 years ago

So that's where that interest came from

And just to be clear dad was a very intelligent man

But back in 1920/30 Ireland you went to work at 14

You can look elsewhere to see the Education his Kids 

and Grandkids attained, so never look down on him

Or me for that matter

Intelligence is Speed of Thought

Not collecting pieces of paper as I said to Molly at the QE yesterday

Molly does not speak French, she's a medic

Anyway, at the end of the day

Just be nice to everybody, because small acts of kindness are rewarded

And nasty acts are burnt in acid in people's memory

Politics is a picnic of lies

We pick and choose, and suffer for our choice

But we can kick them out every 5 years or so

Also remember this if you call everybody Duck or Chuck

It does not matter what cock and bull reality people have

At least, they won’t complain how you addressed them

Even if it’s me in a ballroom gown split to my hairy thighs

Because I'm off up Broad Street tonight, 

for the not so secret Policeman's Ball

Why are Policemen's Balls so Big

They sell more Tickets