Speaking is a very powerful verb

Speaking is a very powerful Verb ©

By Michael Casey

Prime Minister you are not properly dressed, the PM follows the eyes of his bodyguard, his flies are undone. The P.M. attends to his wardrobe malfunction, saying “I was speaking to wife” which is the only benefit of living over the shop.

I shall speak to them about it, says a very senior lawyer, this is the equivalent of arranging for the party of the first part to have a very nasty accident, falling down the stairs of the 3^rd party fire and theft, if you know what I mean. Speaking has so much power, that’s if you can get people to talk to each other in the first place.

I was speaking to your mum is a very nice phrase, but I’ll speak to your mum makes you quiver with fear, especially if you’ve been doing anything naughty, and naughty can cover a whole multitude of sins. Please God don’t let her speak to mum, she’ll skin me alive, or she’ll beat the living daylights out of me.

The two parties agreed to speak to each other, this is always a good sign when there are disputes, neighbours fighting over overgrown trees, or nuclear powered neighbours fighting over which end of an egg should be the one that is opened, the fat or the thin. Wasn’t that in Jonathan Swifts book, I’ll have to speak to my English teacher to find out.

There is speaking and there is speaking, a couple may fall out and not speak to each other. It may be over the size of the phone bill, or how much toilet paper is being used, or even who wet the toilet seat. So they don’t speak to each other till finally they give in, and have sex on the living room floor, strictly come dancing on the tv in the background. How the judges would mark them for performance and technical ability, perfect 10s and what exactly would Bruno say, I cannot say, I won’t speak about it. Ask me in 9 months time and then maybe I’ll speak about it.

We’ll speak about it later, but later never comes, so anger and frustration mounts, all because we did not speak. Just a few words here and a few words there could have changed all our lives. I did not know how you really felt, why didn’t you speak to me, are words lovers exchange just as one of them is dying in a film.

I’m tongue tied when I see him, I wanna tell him but I cannot, if only I could bring myself to speak to him. If she had spoken, if he had spoken, they would have been married 20 years ago. Now both are still single, regretting what could have been if only they had spoken. Or both are thanking God they did not speak, he is old and very fat, as well as bald. She is a smoker with a hacking cough. The only thing that should have been against her lips should have been his kiss. A word and a kiss, if only they had spoken.

Sometimes we speak too much, less is more so they say. Though teenagers grunt and don’t answer in sentences as if their batteries are running low. So speaking is a nuclear weapon which should be used with caution. If you get on like a house on fire then you will talk the hind legs off a donkey, or talk till the cows come home. Explain those phrases to your Esol students. Or as Churchill said Jaw Jaw is better than War War.