Being Blunt

Being Blunt ©

By Michael Casey

What exactly do I mean by “being blunt”? Well I mean saying it as it is, not prevaricating, just saying it. Why dance around the houses, when what is needed is the plain simple truth,  HONESTY in other words. Some people just cannot tell the truth, even if it’s as plain as the walrus drink induced nose on their face.

People are afraid to tell the truth and shame the devil, as my mum used to say, tell the truth and I won’t beat you kind of truth. Double glazing salesmen and central heating installers come to mind. They will sit in your living room doing a pantomime, a calculator is even used, as if it will impress you. Then there is the discount afterwards, and then as if they are doing you a favour they will announce £3K or £2K or whatever.

Then you say thank you and show them the door. They may think they have another load of commission coming their way, my deadpan face gives nothing away. In fact the air is blue afterwards, what a &*((& I may say. No way will he ever get my order, my money. I always look dumb, but my brain is switched on. You learn more by pretending to be stupid.

As for doctors, they don’t say “you’ll be dead in a week, cancel your newspapers and season ticket for Manchester United” They um and ah and it’s very hard for them, they are healers not shareholders in the local undertakers. Though I could add that I could have been hit by a private ambulance this morning, killing two birds with one stone if you like.

People offering a service will go on and on and on, just how great this service is, and I’m not talking about the Vicar boasting about his carol service. I’m talking about maintenance companies, who’ll clean and power wash your gutters and even drains, and then charge £200. Me I gave a bloke a tenner and he sorted my gutters. If he had asked for £20 I’d have pushed him off his ladder, well almost. There is power in cash.

It’s so good for your child to do all these after school activities, it broadens there mind, more likely broadens the backside of the lady who sits there reading Hello magazine while your kids run around, or maybe that’s play places attached to pubs.

Please can people be honest and blunt, cos I can and will be blunt if people think they can talk down to me, and not get to the point, and I don’t mean priests on Sundays either. Sounds like I’m ranting, no I just want facts, I don’t want political speeches or their ilk, just give me the facts. I’m big enough to make up my own mind, and I haven’t got money to splash about in the wider educational interests of my child.

This is code for a school trip because the teachers always wanted to go there themselves, but their own parents could not afford it. While I’m talking about teachers it amuses my children that they get higher marks if they use more florid languages, score 2 extra points if you use alliteration. Me and my kids look at each other and say “alliteration is for people who cannot write.”

Have I been blunt enough, have I rambled, if you are blunt with me you will say I have rambled, but rambling with words is my exercise, exercise for my mind, and at least it does not leave sweaty soles, or souls.