Monday in Malta

Monday in Malta (c)
By
Michael Casey

Sunday night we all felt as if we were still moving as we slept, with a jigging wife beside me that was true, some people just don't stop moving even when asleep. So we got up early and attacked the food, gallons of juice and loads of bacon and bread, lovely bread. Kiwi fruit too and tomatoes to make it more healthy, but the kids didn't want what they had on the plate so I had to indulge even more. Maybe I'll add 3 kilos in the week we are here. It is a holiday after all. The weather was nice too, warm and no need for a coat, just enjoy the weather.

After our feeding of the five thousand just for the 3 of us we went back to the room, JJ was still stretching, so we left her to it and went to have a look at the roof top pool . Our girls enjoy swimming so a pool was a selling point, eagerly they got into their costumes, they had them under their clothes to be exact. Annie tested the waters, only it was far too cold for them, that was a disapointment, so they put their clothes back on, and then had a look at the view. From the roof, you could see the sea, far and wide the sea was a sight to see, they took a few snaps then downstairs we went.

JJ was having her breakfast now, she had slumbered and now was ready for food, she persuaded the chef to make an omelete for her. She was really enjoying, so I went and bought a razor, but no shaving cream. Then I proceeded to cut my throat, I always do without the shaving cream, blood everywhere, just like a slasher film. Once I stemed the flow I went to  collect JJ, we were ready to go out now. A haircut was needed, so we crossed a busy road to get to the barbars only it was closed, so we crossed back again like stupid drunks without satnav, and walked straight into another barbars. The lady got rid of the Old English Sheepdog in me and turned me into George Clooney, ok not Clooney but Michael Douglas, ok I'll be honest into Jack Nicolson, I have the ray bans after all. Ok I'll be really honest honest, into Father Christmas before he grows his heair and beard for Christmas.

Now my hair is super super white, and I'm cleanshaven with a cut throat. We then walked down the road looking for photo opportunities, we found a fisherman repairing the nets with a needle and using his feet to hold out the net as he sewed it. Very Biblical, but my old Uncle Patrick no doubt did the same back in Comane Lower Kerry Ireland. And seeing as my fear of flying has returned me to my closeness to prayer I'm sure the Good Lord himself will approve.

Next we jumped on the bus Gus, no Paul Simon in't here, but its a good line. Buses in Malta are the bendy bus variety and they have something in common with Indian trains, they are very very overcrowded, but it was an experience in itself. We got to Valetta and as I am drinking loads of bottled water, you cannot drink tap water here. So I went in search of a toilet, I could say in search of a John, but English readers will be asking who is this John and what is he doing in Malta. So I asked a group of Somalis where the John, sorry I mean toilet was. Now for me this is a surreal experience as I have taught Somalis English, so to meet a crowd of Somalis in Malta was a surprise.

Pottering around the girls found presents for friends back at school, the highlight being hand made to order braclets with the name included. For me I always pop into a church and say a prayer, insurance policy and belief combined, I hope that God really does have a sense of humour or I am in deep do do. Only I was told by a stern woman at St John's Cathedral that I could not come in and pray but I had to go around the corner and go in that way, and guess what the cathedral had been turned into a MUseum. I wanted to puke, I really hate that. A church is for Praying IN.

So we went into a restaurant instead just down the road, a very posh one open 170years, I forget the name on purpose but their is only one such restaurant in Valetta. Now there the ceiling reminds you of the Cistine Chapel such is the ornate decoration. Now my bone to pick with the retaurant was the forgot us and it took over 20mins to be served. I counted it down and I told JJ I'd walk at 20 mins. Remember I used to work in a 4star hotel and I know how to deliver customer service. In our hotel if anybody crossed the threashold within 20 seconds I had spokend to them and stared to give them what they wanted. So 20 mins and no service is TERRIBLE. On the good side once we got the food it was very good, and yest they were very busy but the people sat next to us did get served first, and they arrived after us.

Back home as the girls call our hotel, we have the fight for the shower, why do girls want to wash their hair so much? I've been to the shop for crunchies and banana flavour milk shake and more milk too. So I'm content. I did buy a present for myself too, some Deep Heat as I've pulled a muscle in my leg. So in one day, I've been shaved and shawn and sprayed. Night Night.

**** sorry for any mistakes I've just dashed this off.