3254 no not a USA house number

 3254 no not a USA house number

but that's how many posts on this site

this is a "chat" so won't be in the books as I write/compile them

The "By Michael Casey" ones are what I put in the books

So go tell it on the mountains

But there are 2000+ of those, count them for yourselves 

and tell me

Serbia is having a peek at me for a couple of days

so PeekaBOO to you too

Taiwan is getting in on the act too, spread all over the 4 sites

and yesterday 13 countries were looking at my Wordpress

which sounds like a metaphor for something

I just let Totoro our cat out, if I don't she'll jump through a window

I will get a new mouse, as I keep on dropping the one I have

or snagging the wire on the boxes of paper under my desk

My student daughter gets through a lot of paper

Her sister is  home for Easter  from University

So obviously the bathroom floor is wet, and soggy towels

everywhere, I think they are trying to kill me

Though my Tinnitus is doing that on its own

Lack of sleep and so on

I watched a documenatary on Abba last night

The Abba  Musical and films made more money for them than

the original records. I don't begrude them at all

One story, Bene was watching the show and somebody behind him

was singing along, it was General Colin Powell 

So do you think I'll ever have any high powered readers.

I'll  have High readers maybe, basket ball players

Or muscle men, carrying all my oevres away in one go

to the rubbish bin, as if my words are a sin

I'm just debating with myself have I got the energy to visit my 

pharmacist down the bottom of the hill, I cannot live without my

pain killing gel, and after 2 months the stock is bare , and yes

USA its FREE here in UK, or you can get a prepay for 120 quid or so

that will cover everthing for a year, so you are all being robbed

Moving on, do you think I can hire Trump to open our new 

car  park, would $2 be enough, a dollar each for him and his wife

read chapter 9 of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

M.P.Married to a Person, Married to a People and you can see my comic 

view on Politics

I'll leave you there and take a look at the sun in the garden

maybe something new tomorrow

I hope the French continue reading my rubbish, it'd be good

if somebody had read ALL of it, though the Korean speakers are

working their way through my books in Translation so a BIG

thankyou to them, Five books in Korean over on Wordpress

and maybe  40 other languages too

SO you can all suffer equally. But don't send rubbish emails

they just get deleted. "Hey fattie I read your rubbish and...." is

a good subject line, that I'd read. As for barristers, so what, I used to 

work at a law firm,so 100s know me.

They may be thanking God I'm not boring them in the Print Room

Hello to Ang if she's still there

ok, enough drivil, I may write more tomorrow, just as the sun comes up

I was going to start singing the songs from Annie then

In the Pink with Pink

 In the Pink with Pink ©

By Michael Casey

Well as the dinner is in the oven and hisses, so does my Tinnitus head, but Pink is here hanging from the light fittings as she sings while I have my supper. Yes, she is a great singer, and I’m not saying that because I’m afraid of her, she pretends to be fierce, but she’s really nice really, just like Totoro, our Ninja cat.

Her voice is so good too, her softer side vocally is almost choir like, that’s if Hells Angels had a choir, how the choir master would deal with her I just would not know. This is doubly funny for me as the choirmaster is my daughter’s Godfather, but as Pink and Saint Cecelia know to Sing is to Doubly praise.

So today I’ve been looking at mice, no Totoro hasn’t been slacking, she left a dead thing in the garden only yesterday, if it moves, she catches it. Despite having two bells and an id locket, when the bell goes ding ding, it’s bad news for anything in the neighbourhood. No Totoro is sleeping now as she did an all nighter last night, getting drunk with the foxes, or maybe drinking fresh vodka with Lech, Boris and Gregorgi up in the woods, or pretending to be adopted by some old lady. Totoro comes home smelling of perfume sometimes, so she has another mistress, though with cat’s they just call us all fools.

Well while you were affronted by Totoro I’ve just had my dinner, I’ve noticed a bit of plaster has fallen from the ceiling so I may give Pink some Sellotape to stick it back in place before she finishes her practice. The way she moves and twirls she better than any electric fan, just in time for the mini heatwave that’s due here in Birmingham this Holy Week. Though my priest might call her gyrations most unholy, but she is cheaper than buying an electric fan, I just tell her what a big fan of hers I am and she stays up there for hours.

What else, I did ask her did she want a snack, Taylor Swift will be back from the chip shop soon, where her beau works, I could text her to get her to bring back some mushy peas and a saveloy. I had to explain to Pink what a saveloy was, and she was impressed, you cannot get one of those in the States she said. As she dropped to the floor, she was glowing a bit, so I offered the use of my bathroom, but she said she wouldn’t intrude into my sacred space. I had just used the bog, and it was a bit iffy, so maybe that was the real reason. So I took her outside and used the garden hose on her, while Totoro watched from the garden fence. Pink bared her teeth, but her manager who had turned up to take her home just laughed and filmed it. Pink in the shower, with a pussy on the fence watching was the caption. It got 1,000,000 views in under an hour.

So, Pink’s manager gave her a giant towel, managers are always called “Big Towels” in the States as they say. And took her away. She shouted over her head that Taylor should let me have the mushy peas and saveloy myself, as I was looking faint. But maybe Pink was joking. So, I had mushy peas and a saveloy when Taylor has climbed the hill to my house. Taylor was a bit annoyed, Pink being in the house, and making a mess. So as I had my mushy peas and saveloy still piping hot from the chip shop, Taylor did some high dusting, she is such a kind and tall girl after all.

So that’s been my day today, I’m so lucky that Taylor’s boy works in the chip shop down the road, I’m always dusted and well fed. Taylor’s going now, they have to clean the deep fat frier together, and deep fat frier is not a nickname for me I’ll have you know. Taylor just calls me Mr Casey, though behind my back she may very well have other names. You can ask her next time you are in the chip shop waiting for a shake of salt, shake shake shake as she often sings to her beau. Wait the door bell is ringing. It’s a special delivery at this time of night to my abode, what might it be. It’s from Pink, I could tell as it was wrapped in pink, it was a complete set of bath towels and robes for all the family, from her manager. 15,000,00 hits for the video in my back yard, in just hours. As for Pink she sent me something in a small packet, a new nozzle for my garden hose. Is she trying to tell me something?

p.s.I forgot to say computer mice.

im-setting-up-a-bandDownload

29th March 2021

 29th March 2021

Bad Tinnnitus night, so I just got up to let cat in

Totoro is a very bad cat

I'll be going back to bed to try and get some sleep 

before I re-emerge and inflict more stories on you

Over on Wordpress

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/author/michaelgcasey/

13 places reading me in a day, yesterday

so have you got nothing better to do

one was from Brazil, which was JUNK, so don't bother

Some people think I'm a target, so they obviously don't know me

and I never want to know them, yes lack of sleep making me even blunter

The stories are to amuse, not for you to abuse

Now I'm going  back to bed with Tinnitus in my head

You wear my shoes for a day...

but leave my stockings and suspenders alone.....

 

p.s. and a real thank you to the readers in France for continuing to plough through my stuff

The Confidence Booster

 

The Confidence Booster ©

By Michael Casey

 

Sue was a timid girl, she wouldn’t say excuse me to anybody, just mutter silently to herself. So, she’d take forever to get through the queue in the canteen, so she always got the slops. Now Doreen on the counter who doled out the dinners noticed this and felt sorry for her. Poor little white girl so pale, she needed to eat more food and then she could study harder at the school library. So, Doreen decided she’d look after this little chick, it was her duty as a God fearing women, and Pastor John always said we should love one another. So, Doreen smiled to herself, thy Lord’s Will be done, Amen to that. Now how could she help Sue, she was just a dinner lady. Yes, she was just a dinner lady, but she had a voice, and she knew how to use it.

 

You, yes you, I’m looking at you, she sung make way for Sue, or you’ll never know what I’ll do. Now Doreen was in a Pentecostal choir and she knew how to sing, bring her up to the table and I’ll feed her, we ain’t got five loaves and two fishes but some very nice dishes. And on Doreen sung, as Sue passed through the queue, nobody complained, for this was like Adele singing, but obviously better, Doreen was a very big church lady after all. Amen, amen to that. So, Sue got served first, the last shall be first and the first shall be last, Doreen said Amen to that. It became a thing, Doreen big black and very beautiful sung, and Sue skipped through the dinner queue.

Now having a warming dinner in your belly is good if you want to study, and Sue was far happier and her confidence grew. Doreen smiled, she had almost adopted the child, but that was not enough. The school, the Benes School was a place of great learning, but Doreen thought it only right she did a but of social engineering, ok , friend making, any matchmaking they could do for themselves after that. So, Gloria her friend on the cleaning crew went on a mission, scout out a nice boy who’d help Sue with her studying. So obviously Gloria picked the Librarian, because he’d know where all the best books were. Yes, he was a little older, and much taller, but he seemed nice, his bin was never overflowing, and he did say please and thank you  to the Cleaning Crew.  So that was that.

 

Gloria was tasked to get him to the dining hall, and that’s what she did, she said she needed a big strong man to help her carry things. So, Larry the Librarian was roped in, Gloria had lied, being a cleaner for many years meant she was so strong. Besides her man, Manuel was a judo martial arts teacher, so she had plenty of practice at throwing things about, but not many people knew that. Where was I, yes, Larry arrived at the dining hall. Sue was there already. Doreen looked and Gloria looked back, then they started.

 

Hey girl, do you want some of my cherry pie, sung Doreen. Gloria replied, you mean me girl. NO, not you you’ve eaten a pie too many, I mean Sue, my child, come here and have some cherry pie, on sung Doreen. Larry laughed as Doreen and Gloria sung back and forth a tale of pies with cherries on top. Sue noticed his laugh, and his sparkling eyes. Gloria was right, he was the right boy for Sue, and in the future he’d say I do. Doreen sparkled, she sung Amen to that. Larry was lead to the counter by Gloria, a pie thrust in his hand. Was this a High School Musical. No, this was Old Forge and Singing Anvil in England, the Benes schools for higher learning.

 

Gloria and Doreen found a spare pie and shared it, as the canteen audience applauded, the staff were great here, and the teachers weren’t not so bad either. Now I could go on, but Gloria and Doreen have to go to church it is a Sunday after all, Palm Sunday. So prepare we the way of the Lord, and your own confidence will grow.

 

 **** I had a different idea in my head but this one came out. Some of the nicest people I have ever met have been cleaners and crew of all sorts, I've worked strange hours, hence I meet more of them. I know clever people too, before I forget hello to the crews at CPNEC Birmingham, though they will have all moved on, perhaps Vicky is in Hacienda?

 

Just a few thoughts through the pain 27/3/2021

 Just a few thoughts through the pain 27/3/2021

 TAKE A BASEBALL BAT AND HIT YOURSELF HARD OVER THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD

That's how I feel today

And yesterday was horrible for hours too

My hernia though bypass scar, my left shoulder, my back etc

So It is nice to be able to do something on good days or hours

It is as variable as the English weather

So thank you for reading me all over the world

BUT .edu emails for rubbish, give me a break as Uncle Joe Biden would say

I do know how to hover before I delete you

And the usual lets share money left in bank acounts

You are just wasting your time

LEARN TO CODE OR IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH

that'll hel pyou more than thinking you are smart

Because you are just as pain in my BUTT

and in everybody elses

GROW UP

this is the polite version as my head throbs

Now moving on to the really nice people

My real readers

THANK YOU from my big fat bottom

it gets bigger if you just sit in a chair all day

SO get your boyfriend to chase you around the living room

for 15 minutes every 2 hours

Or the cat if that's all you have

Our cat is 6 now, Totoro had a Birthday

Over in France the readers continue

Maybe it is some girl who is doing the reading challenge

Reading Everything I've ever written on Blogger

Butcher Baker Undertaker blogger is my main one

and you can hear my voice too

https://open.spotify.com/show/1wSSIExkhsR97u1jqj0iiR 

 

12 hours of me, then an AI voice reading some more of my stuff

When I get around to it I'll record more and shove it on my Spotify

So imagine this, a beautiful French girl, or a girl living in France

reading everything of mine, while in search of Romance

and the Perfect Prize, ME, or is that Insanity

Winning Me, and making 4 babies and creating a new Kpop family

 That's my Pathos Dream, but I'll more likely be dead

Not today not tomorrow, I'll have to suffer for years more

And so will you, as you read this rubbish

Though what would this girl really look like

A nun, who throws away her habbit like Julie Andrews

And makes me the sound of her music, and form our Kpop band

Or an 150kilo Sumo like girl with a hairy wart on her lip

sounds like me in drag a bit

I'll never know as nobody sends me pasted in photos

Only scammers and blaggers, who get deleted unread

I'm listening to Sleeping at Last

and yes it helped me beat Tinnitus last night

So I'll listen to them more

The previous night was another Dark Night of the Soul

Pain and  No sleep, I'd beat any torturer as I have such a life already

Now what else, I did think of a couple of story ideas I'd like to put down

I never run out of ideas, and its not the pain leading to ideas

The pain is a road block that slows me down, a bit like in the Suez right now

It allows my French reader with the hairy wart a chance to gain on me

Sadly, she's never catch me, as she weighs more than me etc etc etc

My French viewing figures with stop immediately 

Cest ne pas juste

and so on

So I'll go and watch Vincenzo, he stroked the girls hair loving last episode,episode 10

So in Kdrama land, is it the beginning of a new Korean Mafia line

And yes dear readers, I dream of Kdrama and Kpop girls,  just one is enough

to start that Kpop family for me, she's need to be a typist and a nurse

so that's the end of pathetic me for today

and if you say your prays maybe God will just take me away

Shelly in my Bed

 Shelly in my Bed

I was  asleep, I'd beaten Tinnitus, and he deserved a flogging

I awoke at 4.24am, suddenly

and a line, a snatch of words was in my head

"Kiss the Wind" I added "and love the son" 

So I grabbed the phone and Googled

"Kiss the Wind and love the son"

I thought I might try and create a poem in the morning

Then Google came up with

 

Love’s Philosophy

By Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river

   And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

   With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

   All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

   Why not I with thine?—

See the mountains kiss high heaven

   And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

   If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

   And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

   If thou kiss not me?

 obviously I am more like Frankenstein

which was written by Mrs Mary Shelly

and no I don't dream poetry

I escape Ringo on the cymbals each time I sleep

So where did it come from?

45 years ago at Grammar school maybe, was the last time

Shelly was in my head, never my bed

But Percy the Undertaker is a poet in my comic novel

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

So another door into my head

as for my bed, you wouldn't want to go there

 

Chocolate and Salmon and Italian Beer

 

Chocolate and Salmon and Italian Beer ©

By Michael Casey

 

Well, I had a lazy time in bed listening to my smart speaker, then I got up feeling happy, I resisted the temptation to say Happy, because he is one of the seven dwarfs, and you would have gone all the shop with the potential ramifications. See I’ve confused you already, though if you’re a smiling Quack you may have had a field day too. But I like to amuse myself and you too. As for the chocolate mint ice cream cone  and salmon with tomatoes on seeded bread and Italian beer, that was my lunch, the Italian beer being a late arrival to the house, but Moretti was welcomed, I think my friend Vincenzo in Korea must have sent it.

 

So now you know what’s in my belly but what about my head, nothing you are all saying in unison. You may be right, but that does not stop me from writing, though some of you may wish I did. You are all so cruel, Vincenzo stop playing with your lighter, they are scared enough by my writing already. Here I have saved the last straw for you, drink slowly and don’t spill the other can Moretti over your fancy suit. Better still give it to me, and I’ll stop an accident before it happens, you can go back to playing with your lighter now.

 

So, what am I talking about, I’ve caught up with the plot now, so shall I share it with you?  Atmosphere. That’s what. In the morning there an atmosphere in my bedroom, so I opened the window and let the fresh air in. No, the atmosphere was created by the music, I have it on low all night as I fight the Tinnitus, and then I switch it off depending on my state of restfulness and exhaustion. So, by the time I was ready to get up I decided Justin Timberlake would be nice, yes girls I know he always is as far as you are concerned. So, I told him to be careful with his bubble gum while I has a couple of hours of music, though I did manage to kick the smart speaker onto the floor, luckily it was not damaged.

I listened to the new stuff too that the app puts on after Justin, and that was nice as well, so you can imagine a lazy Sunday morning atmosphere, though today is Wednesday, 24^th March 2021 for all you students of my words.

 

Atmosphere is created by location and music and food, but never eat in bed as the crumbs get everywhere and as I am so hairy they would stick just about everywhere, no need for imagination. If you have a nice atmosphere you can achieve more or reveal more, nothing to do about undressing your lover and being in bed. As I started in bed, what I am talking about is that you are happier, you are in your comfort zone, so you are in a more relaxed frame of mind. Shops and Restaurants all think about these things as it can encourage all to spend more money, and that’s what they want, yes they enjoy being of service and those who work in service industries do. Everything is examined and analysed, no not back to you and your lover in bed, Marketing is all about making people comfortable and relaxed so the clamp is relaxed on the wallets and money transfers to the seller.

 

Conversation and Confession is easier too in a more relaxed environment, so take your priest down the pub and tell him it was you who scratched his car in the church car park. And see what kind of penance he gives you, 15 pints of Stella Artois and a packet of cheese and onion crisps, is what my priest usually charges, he’s not call Don Camillo for nothing. And yes Don Camillo deliberately parks his car so it will be scratched, how else is he going to gather the beer and crisps for the Children’s Home Fete, priests are devious. 600 pints of Stella and 14 boxes of crisps was what he needed, and he doubled it. How? He got the Police Inspector to swear there was damage, so everybody coughed up, he did of course threaten to blackmail the Police Inspector over the stolen bike from 30 years ago. We have no statute of limitations here in England. You can read more in Chapter 7, And for your Penance, from my comic novel  The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker.

I think I’ve given you enough atmosphere now, as beef braising in the kitchen is wafting through the house, so I’m thinking of my belly again. And should you pour Brandy on Beef, would it be just what the doctor ordered, I don’t know, I’m neither a doctor nor a chef, I’m a writer creating his own atmosphere, I think I’ll dash to the bathroom now.