Funny Formal Letter

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 14/01/2020 3 Minutes

Funny Formal Letter

Hello India you are one of the 70 countries that reads my words.

1000s of copies of my book

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker have been downloaded from my WordPress

The book has a major Indian hero, and the finale was read by 21,000 Polish

readers in 3 weeks when I loaded the Polish to my website.

Up to 8 Languages in any day are being read via my site.

So you are getting Quality. In addition I have written 2000 short stories after 30 years.

My material is not just for the clever dicks with Phds it’s for the 12 to 120 year olds.

So have a think, and  please pass this to anybody who’ll  invested in me.

 You can read/hear 200 of my stories on my Typepad

Thanks again,

Michael Casey in Birmingham England, I’m too old to be serious

OK,  I’ll bullet point this as emails are 40% faster that way as

ACNielsen told us 20 years ago

Now I really am fat and silver haired and I wear shades, look for my horrid photo online

I have been writing  for 30 years now

I try and write humour. The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

is my egg or ouvre, whatever

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is being read

in 8 languages via my website daily

1000s of Translations have been downloaded

70 countries surrender to my words, I’m 18 stones, so resistance is futile,

I look like George Clooney after he ate everything in the fridge

I had a play called Shoplife accepted at my 1st attempt,

but they did Rocky Horror instead

it’s a boxing film I think, but maybe I’m wrong

My stuff can and will be used to teach English via Humour

I have a Shanghai wife myself and 2 bilingual daughters

Even Totoro our cat is bilingual

I have written 1,530,000 words or so, I lost count after I took my shoes and socks off

to help with the counting. And Bezo’s corner book shop has 18 books in the altogether

I thought if Bezo stacked them near his nudist section I’d get more exposure

I hope you are smiling and don’t feel like the Harry in the family

I was the family pet myself, and when my own daughters asked for a pet

I said you can have a dog if I die, or a cat if I have a heart attack

Totoro our Ninja cat arrived soon after that  5 years ago, il y a cinq ans

just to remind you we are linguists, but the ointment is clearing it up.

I am a  story teller with 2000 stories or more, so I’m like Jeffery Archer

Only he has a Monet on the wall, and I have no money at all

If in a stupor you help me, I will donate 50% to Charity, no not the local

barmaid , but real pain relief charity, and I taught James Bond that line

where he said “everything”

Ok, thanks for your time I could have brown nosed you, but at 18 Stones

one of us would have singing that  Abba song. I’m more Benny Hill myself

but look like Dave Allen when my hair is longer. My writing style is at times

a cross between Joyce Grenfell and Ronnie Corbett monologue which would

make me Gerald Wiley their bastard son. The very word on your lips.

Cheerio Michael Casey

p.s. I always write a good p.s. but Harry’s here crying on my shoulder

NOW

dear reader this is the kind of email I send to Media companies, as I may be in the gutter

but I won’t kiss any rears, not unless she ….

This email style tests  both their patience and IF they have a sense of humour, I won’t

work with anybody who’s a piece of work, though they probably think that about me.

STAY HAPPY AND BE GOOD

Michael Casey

A visit from my doctor

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 13/01/2020 1 Minute

I won’t say my flu was bad but this is how the doctor arrived
he was taking a swab from me

BBU IndonesianBengali Translation of BBUBBU ITALIANBBU UrduBBU in Indian HindipersianBBUPORTUGUESE BBU2019China BBU-convertedChina BBU-convertedВ поисках индийской принцессыWydanie polskie Still Alive 2015win Wiersze dla wszystkichThe Polish TranslationsThe Polish Translationspolish Guardian AngelPolish Edition of Still Alive 2015Michael Casey The Polish Translations페이지 1 Quick Stories KOREAN아직도 살아있는 2015ページ1 Quick Stories in Japaneseインドのプリンセスを検索するにはインドのプリンセスを検索するには – CopyЭТО МОЙ ЛИФТ ADСтраница 1shoplife spanishJapanese elevator AdvertBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish Examples50 Spanish Examplesbbumar2008-en-zh-cn-1BBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)BBU in HebrewBBU in Arabic300 وBBU Russian Translation microsoft wordBBU in KOREANBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish ExamplesKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015The Polish TranslationsSpanish BBU아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015

Welcome Back (c) by Michael Casey

Welcome Back (c)
BY
Michael Casey

Well it's been  a while so I thought you could all suffer  a bit with me again. No you cannot just go down the Pub, if I suffer you all suffer, it's called caring and sharing after all. So my small daughter kept on coming downstairs from her eyrie where she's studying to get a drink from the kitchen, but without her slippers and socks. So she got a cold that she couldn't shake off over Christmas. But did manage to pass on to me, and I've been enjoying it these past 10 days or so. I'm so full of gunge and pain I could not face the hill to get to the shops. Luckily you can phone for anything this Christmas.

So you have all had Peace on Earth this Christmas. As for me my Tinnitus has been a real Roman slave, google Up Pompeii for plenty of colour and racy jokes from Up Pompeii which was a tv comedy back in 1970 onwards. We impressed our  Latin teacher so much when we mentioned it, God Bless Mr Hanney. As Tinnitus was making me a slave I decided to play with my phone while listening to Will Young. Will Young  spends his nights in my bed singing for his supper, not literally he's too clever for that. In actual fact he really is a very clever man, he could be a Political Reporter, he's that clever, though watching Politicians is a bit bizarre, Laura, is it because they all sung Tell Laura I love her. Who knows the workings of a Political Reporter's mind.
But that's just me, 50 years cursing Politicians on the telly, it's like the Roman Coliseum, I knew Tinnitus came from somewhere, it's the noise Politicians make, an eternal hiss, and yes I will say read Chapter 9 of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker, M.P. Married to a Person, Married to a People, ok as a punishment as you punish  your Stella Artois.

What else do I do at night, all alone in the dark with just Will Young's voice, voice I said, please clean your ears out, oh, you have Tinnitus too.  It's much better than Tinnitus One, ok, please yourselves as Frankie Howerd might titter, there was much tittering in Up Pompeii I remember, it was the selling point for 11 year old boys, tittering. If this was tv, I'd pull a face, but as everything I write is Radio, you'll just have to imagine, or look at my mush belove. Yes, where was I, looking at my bottom in the reflection in the window pane, I was at the bottom of the page, oh do keep up as  Kenneth might interject, though some of you may wish this was the interval, what I came back too soon, you are so cruel, I'll come and live next door to you. Yes I'll be the squatter next door, they haven't fixed the toilet yet.

And what has the last paragraph got to do with the price of nutty slack, well nothing, but sometimes a girl or is he a she, you cannot tell nowadays the way they all dress. What  it's not Nutty Slack, the local call girl, it's MZ in a Hoodie, he should change his profile page or get a ZTE phone on Amazon and take a better selfie. Are you all feeling dizzy now? I'll lead you all up the garden path again, until you are,  I never surrender and wave at Gill from StatMR this time, she's such a nice lady. Dizzie is a friend of hers they go out rapping every Sunday after church, they wrap gifts for the Sally Army. Did you think Gill with a G could Rap with an R? Well of course she can, she's gifted, she plays snooker too, she once split a pair and got one in each corner pocket.  Ok, I'm lying now, on the pool table, you see Gill said, Michael, tidy up your own mess,  and threw the broom at me, hitting my pair and knocking them into my pockets. So I'm lying flat out on the pool table with a jug of ice on my Test test Test,  testimonials, and yes i did moan, as my friends from StatsMR drunk the bar dry.

Now this is another piece of nonsense which could have gone any  which way, but Harry couldn't come, so they sent Clyde instead, he was going to splatter me, but my Navy Seal friends intervened, if anybody was going to splatter me, they would be the first. So I'm speaking from the bottom of the cesspit or latrine. Which goes to prove yet again, that Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham is so full of it, and always smells of it. So send Ck1 or CK Be and then I'll write sweet smelling prose, and you can all stop holding your nose. So thanks for waiting while I had this flu, now this cuckoo can fly over the nest again.

Indonesia

Indonesia

hello to you all, you've joined the bandwagon lately

so thank you

I'm still not over the flu

with a GPR of 29 I wish kids stayed away from me

and did not pass it on

It's always great when those who should love and care for you

bother to listen to your lifetime of experience

ah well, I had a bath and shave so I'm almost

back to my usual state.

Maybe tomorrow a new story, it's been a while now

but there are 2600 pieces of work on this site alone

so there's plenty  to read.

The (c)  by Michael Casey ones are the new stories  usually

the rest are chats when  usually I'm too tired to write

One observation The Leaders Lie in Iran and it could lead to revolution

Trump lies and he gets re-elected. Discuss

Clearer Eyes but still full of snot

Clearer Eyes but still full of snot

so no new story today

I did have an idea for a poem of sorts

but then i forgot it

I got some good sections of sleep last night

but this morning the pain monster attacked

just when I thought I was getting over the flu

this is my life my body

It feels like a girder dropped on my left shoulder

no I'm not making this up

7 years of random pain now, arthritis then heart etc

Though the cards amongst you may say 30 years  of

pain for the readers, i'll cry if you carry on like that

stick around and explore this site 2600 pieces of writing

if you include the "chats" like these

one day MZ and Facebook will pay me to have a column on

their platform etc It would be much better than their usual trash

Or maybe Fox News and Russia Today give me columns

ok enough
I'm going to finish my Kdrama Live Up to Your Name
as I cry along to the music and drama
and yes I really do, I am part Korean by now
hence my Korean dream...

and Happy Birthday Kim
Vases are better than bombs any day

Still full of snot

Still full of snot
a bag full of used tissues by morning, but at least my eyes are no longer bloodshot.
Overnight and today the whole far flung world seems  to be reading my stuff
like a closing down sale, I’m not dead yet, I just smell that way
So thank you readers and tell everybody in your address book where to find my stories
then eventually good things could come
No new story today, I thought I’d need an ambulance, no I’m not being dramatic
Anyway I’ve been watching a new Kdrama, Live Up to Your Name , is the title I think
Its about a time  travelling traditional medicine doctor
Its episode 11 so far, and he has yet to kiss the girl, a heart doctor
obviously I connect big time with this story,
this week its 5 years since my Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass
so bitter sweet is the word.
And no doubt that’s why  I’d love a Korean 2nd wife, and if she were a heart doctor
in all senses of the word, that would be perfect….
But was that a flying pig I just saw, or maybe a Trump resignation?

Stay Happy and Be Good maybe tomorrow a new story
but there are 1000s online
Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham

 Translations for you all from Nepal to Australia and all places in between

Imagine you climb Mount Everest but that is not enough, you try and get a signal to read me online.
But it's probably the YETIs

I think I’ve covered all the languages, its up to you the readers to spread the word by your social media, even if that’s a laminated notice in the bathrooms. Why, because I am not on social media nor twitter. today is 9thJan 2020
THAI BBU TranslationBBU in KOREANVietnamese Translation The Butcher The Baker and The UndertakerKorean Still Alive 2015Kasap Fırıncı ve Taahhüt © tarafındanBBU IndonesianBBU ITALIANBengali Translation of BBUBBU UrduBBU in Indian HindiKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015Korean Valentine PoempersianBBUPORTUGUESE BBU2019China BBU-convertedChina BBU-convertedВ поисках индийской принцессыWydanie polskie Still Alive 2015win Wiersze dla wszystkichThe Polish TranslationsThe Polish Translationspolish Guardian AngelPolish Edition of Still Alive 2015Michael Casey The Polish Translations페이지 1 Quick Stories KOREAN아직도 살아있는 2015ページ1 Quick Stories in Japaneseインドのプリンセスを検索するにはインドのプリンセスを検索するには – CopyЭТО МОЙ ЛИФТ ADСтраница 1shoplife spanishJapanese elevator AdvertBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish Examples50 Spanish Examplesbbumar2008-en-zh-cn-1BBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)BBU in HebrewBBU in Arabic300 وBBU Russian Translation microsoft wordBBU in KOREANBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish ExamplesKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015The Polish TranslationsSpanish BBU아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015

michaelgcasey Uncategorized Leave a comment 09/01/2020 2 Minutes