Friday 13th here's an old story I have to cut the grass in the morning ready for Mr Trump to play golf

A Bit of a Fright ©

By Michael Casey

They say a bit of a fright is good because it gets your pulse going and helps your heart and its circulation. We were watching Don’t Breath on the telly tonight, it was given 4 stars and I agree with it. Very scary and very violent with lots of twists, it was only out last year 2016. Some of it you will say was just too sick, but there is a happy ending of sorts, its a 15 I believe.

So tonight’s question is do you like Frights? The Labour Party here in England do not as they are not even debating Brexit which is the biggest thing in 50 years in the UK. But I’ll leave the political jokes to my heroes the Political Journalists, yes they are my heroes, I’ve been watching all this for 50 years, me and my dad and Robin Day.

So what frightens you? The gas bill and the electric bill frightens me, and they both came this week, the week our fridge gave up the ghost after 6 years,my story Fridge Family Casey explained it all. I don’t like surprises, as they are nearly always bad, or people think they are doing you a favour when you’d rather be left alone. Look what happened to Thomas a Becket, somebody thought they were doing Edward the Confessor a favour. It all ended nastily. Maybe that was the inspiration for the first slasher movie, or the Medieval equivalent.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail had the knight that was dismembered, and still fighting on. This is the stock in trade of horror movies, just when you think they are dead they blink and get up and attack you again. The creak on the stairs is always there, or just the buckets of blood, though my wife is more scared by the creaks on the stairs.

We all love to hide and jump out and frighten people, its what we all enjoy doing as children, parents pretend to be shocked and scared. I used to pretend to be dead and lie on the floor so when the kids came home I was dead. They in turn used to jump up and down on me, and pull my nasal hair to make sure I was really dead, or force open my eyelids, the usual kid stuff. Thankfully they never tried the rectal thermometer.

No post unplanned quadruple heart bypass and with the state of my Arthur my arthritis I cannot pretend to be dead on the floor any more. Which in a way is sad as it means their childhood is ending and teenager attitudes are taking over, me I think you should always stay a child in your heart. It’s sheer coincidence that my big daughter wants be be a doctor, Pathologist is her target, at least you won’t kill anybody I say. My small daughter finished watching Don’t Breath with me, so I suggested she did a PhD in the Horror Genre, after she gets her degree. Something for her to aim for.

Imagine she’d be forever covered in popcorn as a result of all these films she’d see at the cinema, I wonder can you get a horror pass to get discount? Or if you say I’m doing a horrible PhD you get in free. I’ll have to find out for her.

As I said earlier we all enjoy pranking our friends. We had a roller cupboard in the office, 30 years ago and we said it would be funny  if somebody hid in it and then just reached out and grabbed somebody’s leg while the rollers were down. So Neil hid in it and we waited for the next Sunday shift to arrive. Only the temptation was too much for me, so I pressed the close button, and Neil was trapped inside the cupboard.

I should have pissed myself laughing but I was scared he’d be scared of being trapped in the semi dark inside the roller shuttered cupboard. In fact I kind of panicked. So he had to calm me down while he was still trapped inside. He got out in the end by kind of limbo dancing wriggling his way out of the bottom of the cupboard. He was very red faced after it. But I suppose it was his reward for once calling me a burnt out has been. I went on to write 13 more books and get married and have a Chinese Irish family. He got divorced and years later I’m sure the last time I saw him he was scavenging from a dustbin in Saint Philips Churchyard.

That is the worst kind of horror story there is, so thank your lucky stars for the nice life you have. But do look under your bed, just in case there is more than the pussy hiding there.   

 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

no new story tonight so here's an old one

no new story tonight so here's an old one.
I managed to hurt my chest today while putting out the washing. Post bypass if i lift to much of use just one hand to carry instead of two my chest plays up. Or hurts like hell, yes I hate it, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one. my daughter contines with the very high marks, which does make me proud, obviously I don't praise her too much, she has to stay grounded, 91% for philosophy.

A Woman’s Beauty ©

By Michael Casey

A woman's beauty has many seasons too, the first smile that floors any man, the kind word that heals any hurt, the tears that break any heart.  The touch that offers sympathy,  the consoling hug. The softness that brings hope to all of us. Softness is strength. All kinds of graces that are like pearls throw before swine, swine being men in the main.

A woman loves from her  heart, a man tends to love from his loins until he is educated  by the love of a good woman. Women don’t battle and try to win all the time, tender words are given to children, and men are just children who pretend they are all grown up. Words and curses are used and it’s the women who are the peacemakers, when all the wars are over its women who are left to bring the family together.

Family is woman, the home the hearth is woman, men are out working and the mother glues the family together while the men are at work. Times changed but still its mum and the kids, they are the family, dad is out working up to 16hours a day, at least my dad was. When dad is off work for the weekend then the family is full and complete, laughter rings out and when the ice cream van is heard in the street dad sends us out to get some ice creams. TV shows are watched together, kids snuggle up to dad to rest their head on his fat belly, dad’s Winnie  The Pooh like belly.

As kids it’s the mother who teaches the children their first prayers, it’s the mother who spread the Faith, but why is it that only men are the priests? A mother encourages and sooths, a dad gives the pocket money out  at the weekend so you can go to the Grove Cinema. On a Sunday there is cake and tea, dad goes to the pub and comes home with cheese and onion crisps in his pockets. Warm memories, memories that make up Family, then one Saturday night in May , mum is gone. Mum is dead, the priest comes to the house in the early hours returning with brother and sister, dad cries it finally hits him, his wife of nearly 50years is gone. Dad said mom had all the Graces, “She was as strong as a horse” which is high praise coming from a blacksmith.

Dear Donald Welcome to Europe

Dear Donald, Welcome to Europe, just in case you cannot find anywhere to stay I could sell you my house. It's been in my silly photos attached to the stories. So feel free to send somebody with a cheque. I'll even throw in all the furniture.

It's a historic house as I wrote my 1st 16 books here, and started Seventeen Again while living at this house.

Tell Baron to stay happy, I'm sure you'll spend more time with him playing golf soon.

He could also read all my books, they are age appropriate for him, more or less.

That's all.

Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades  from Birmingham England

 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC

KillingTime

Killing Time ©

By Michael Casey

Well I promised you I’d Kill Time, so here it is. Sometimes we wish we could kill time, or turn back time. Sometimes we think our Time is up, but sometimes there are miracles, such as the Thai  child footballers being rescued from that cave. But we must all remember the one Thai who lost his life bringing those children home. We thought Time was up for my own dad back in 1996 when he had his heart attack  8 bare weeks after mum had died in the marriage bed beside him. But he beat Death itself and had 5.5 more years with us, which led to me meeting my wife and  then having 2 daughters. It’s all in Padre Pio and Me if you can find it.

So this afternoon I was waiting in, but sadly I did not get the result I wanted. 

However it did make me think about Time, and killing Time. And  being bored. I never get bored myself because I’ve always got something to think about, and yes I have an Interior Life. I’m sure if you ask the “stars” on Love Island what an Interior Life is they will say it’s something to do with decorating. Though I may need to get somebody to do some decorating for me before I wait in again. Sounds like a puzzle, I’m sure you’ll work it out. 

Or in the meantime what does MC=4C mean, something for the Maths or Chemistry students out there. By the way in her latest test my daughter got 87% for her Chemistry. As my dad used to say, do what you like but do your best, he did hold her in his arms before my mother called him to Heaven for his dinner. 

Yesterday 9^th July would have been their 71^st Wedding Anniversary, that was them on their Wedding Day in the photo I posted plus my auntie too. My dad slept with his brother on his wedding day and my mother slept with her sister, you can see her at the side of the photo. Why? A Kerry Tradition? No, because dad’s brother was up from Cricklewood in London so he had to sleep somewhere.

I hope I haven’t stolen too much of your time by sharing that story, but Time is for sharing and my dad used to say When God made Time, he made Plenty of it. Kids say I’m bored, and will sulk, but never think of talking or having a conversation. Wifi rules everything. Just switch the Wifi off and make your kids talk to one another. Expand their brain and vocabulary, Real Life is much more fun, parents just need to have backbone, and switch off the Wifi, instead of wasting all their time on mindless Wifi distractions.

Our kids were late to wifi toys, we bought them crayons, thousands of crayons, for years. I was even allowed to bring scrap paper home from my print rooms for my kids to use. Now both my girls can draw really well. If you want to see early examples of their art then look at The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker plus 300 and Not OUT the print versions on Amazon. Time spent learning to draw is a great investment of Love in your kids, uncles provided pencils galore as did aunties, and even books teaching them to draw. Its normally a very quiet process, and teaches patience, it’s also a life skill, such as riding a bike or leaning to swim. Time is precious so use it wisely to help your kids grow. Expand their mind, not their waistline by giving in and giving too much junk food.

I hope I don’t sound like a teacher, though 3 of the family were teachers, and even I ended up teaching Esol for a year, so does that make 4 teachers? Time should not be killed, I’m bored so you sit on your behind reciting, I’m bored, I’m bored like the Donkey from Shrek. There used to be a BBC  tv kids show called Why don’t you switch of the TV and do something really useful instead. And  yes I never watched it. The principle though is that you don’t stay a Zombie but you use your time.

The worse words in the English Language are, I’m Bored. Our dad used to switch off the tv 50 plus years ago and say Go Out into the Sun this fine day. So then we’d use the wooden draft excluder stick from the side door of the house as a cricket bat and we’d play cricket. The wicket was the concrete post that help up the washing line, mum would scream at us to go down the yard and not break the windows with our ball. 

These are just a few examples of using time I my life. Sometimes you are too tired to do anything, you don’t know what to do or say. Like in 1996 when I whispered into my dad’s ear that he should joint my mother in Heaven. He was not expected to survive. I wanted to stay by his side, my brother’s advice was step back, remember he had just saved dad’s life, and 8 weeks previously he had tried CPR on mum, but it was already too late as he cradled her in his arms in the marriage bed.

Time can seem to be in slow motion, or you are at a different angel to Life as it moves on around you. Prayer can enter even if you have no words, but you have the Faith that your mother had poured into you. So Prayer fills the void, and Time does not end. You persuade God through your heart to STOP Time, keep Death at bay. So you can see my prospective on time is different to yours. Same as in 1979, 17 year previously a lodger, Andy Madden died on me as I tried heart massage. Time flows, we are just passengers sat upon it, Jan 2015 could have been my own end of days. But I’m still here, still having some pain, and sharing my words with you all. 

What am I trying to say, as I ignore the France v Belgium match, I’m saying use your time, don’t waste it. Enjoy your time, as we all will when I watch England v Croatia tomorrow, and with the help of God and 2 Policemen and  one waistcoat we win the Cup. I was in Lourdes France in 1966 when England won last won. And if it’s true that History Repeats Itself, then Logically England should win the Cup again.

And as you know everything I write is 1^st draft as I don’t want to waste my time on rewrites. And another strange thing is what I sometimes write happens. So I won’t be correcting this, so it must happen. Though Prayer does help as I said before, so all of you  reading this will be praying to Saint Andrew the patron saint of Russia to remember he has  the head of England.

I’ll finish now and hope I haven’t wasted too much of your time, usually there is more comedy in my writing, perhaps you need to Xray me to find what lies beneath. You only see the tip of my iceberg, and that’s not a metaphor either.

Killing Time, I'm waiting for somebody so I'll write a new piece when he has gone

Killing Time, I'm waiting for somebody so I'll write a new piece when he has gone.
I finished doing what I wanted to do, so I thought what should I do while I'm waiting for him.

Then Killing Time sprung to mind, so I'll see what I can write about that theme later on. It's too hot for me in our Summer Weather.

So come back later and I'll have another 500 to 1000 words for you. I nearing 1,340,000 words now.

Stay cool.

this photo won me Uncool Dad of the year award 2015 with Clarks shoes,yes really.