A German Present and a Polish one too

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/2018/06/07/der-schlachter-der-backer-und-der-undertaker-durch-michael-casey-2/


is where  my German Readers can read my comic novel, I wonder is Anthony Stein amongst them? Hello to you . We visited Ofenbach near Frankfurt in 2008 I think,maybe its time to return, its only one plane ride away. Great place and people, and food too.

I've also put the Polish version on my Wordpress site, both are too big for Blogger, though Blogger HERE is my main site.

so that's your lot, the angel is the picture on the wall behind me these past 20 years, though my copy has faded due to sunlight, its a watercoloured copy. oils last .

the gas man has still not arrived, though both the gas and electric bills came simultaneously

thanks for passing by today the longest day 6th June

thanks for passing by today the longest day 6th June

as I said I was in Caen Normandy France 6th June 1984

40 years on then, and now another 34 years on today.

I'm not as strong as I was then , having fun in Normandy, walking over 20 miles in one day during my visit. Finding a tiny restaurant owned by 2 gay men, very Hansel and Gretel and eating with lots of coffee before walking all the way back to Yvetot.

Today I walked a couple of miles with lots of rests and I'm worn out tonight, had to have a nap. but at least I've had 3 years extra time, thanks to heart surgery. The future is painful with my Arthritis playing second fiddle, so I'll be boring you all for a few more years, with the help of God and Two Policemen as my mother used to say,

Tomorrow my gas boiler should be serviced, then the gas bill will arrive too, so I may be crying when I get it. Otherwise I'll see what I'll dream up. 1835 pieces of writing on this site tonight. Still haven't been discovered, perhaps I look too frightening, like a ghost.


But Ghosts are all our futures....

Ghosts get a fright of their Afterlives THIS IS| NEW STORY AS PROMISED

Ghosts get a fright of their Afterlives ©

By

Michael Casey

Lech, Boris and Gregorgi were a bit unsteady on their feet, well the new batch of vodka was very fresh, still slightly warm when they tested it. They had used new ingredients, potatoes, in fact it was more Irish Poteen than Eastern vodka, it had a kick and a half. Brian down the allotment had a few potatoes left over so the boys took them away, and thought what use they could make of them.

The new still in Warley Woods needed a bit of maturing, so if they made some poteen it would help flavour the inside of the still. Go ask a brewer if you want any more information, they used to say if you want to know the time ask a policeman, there was in fact a retired policeman who was a friend of theirs, he always knew the time. When a batch was ready, that’s why his face was always so red, sampling fresh home brew. But he did have perfect timing, he always turned up in time to arrest naughty boys, Tom was his name, Sergeant Tom, he always knew the exact time a new batch was ready in a still.

There are laws about home brew and stills and amounts you can make for home consumption, but Tom was 1/2 Eastern, from Poland they said. So his views on amounts were more Eastern than Western. When his nose led him to the boys still, any other Policeman may have said I am arresting you. Tom just said give me a glass and then told them to add a bit more of this and that. A firm friendship was formed. 

They say back in this writer’s dad’s closest town the still was using the chimney back to back with the police station. A young and stupid policeman informed his sergeant, so the sergeant had the wet policeman transferred as far away from Castleisland as possible. When the sergeant retired all 20 public houses gave him a bottle, that was 1930s Kerry for you.

But back to Tom, Tom and the boys are firm friends, lubrication is necessary, so let sleeping dogs lie was Tom’s philosophy,and dogs certainly lay down and slept after sampling Lech, Boris and Gregorgi’s home brew or still water. At Mrs Black’s funeral the bottle was punished and all her old dear friends were in attendance, the sandwiches were laid out on the pool table and there was a table with home brew and still water, plus fizzy pop for any stray children. Just in case there are any non drinkers reading this, still water is not posh water, its water that’s been in a still, as in vodka or poteen, now do I make myself clear, you’ll tell me you are a vegetarian next, God help us.

Mrs Black herself enjoyed the after funeral feed, sitting on the side of the pool table she enjoyed the turnout. She hated how they had dressed her corpse, and sewed her lips together, she had enjoyed talking so much when she was alive. They all seem really sad that she had died, those Eastern boys were so kind too, the lips were loosened and the talk was good. Yet she could not join in, as her lips were sealed, well sown together, they had lost her false teeth so sewing her lips was the compromise. It was a good funeral, as good as many she had attended, she wondered what would happen next.

The angel came to take her to Heaven, only she was not ready, the angel said he had 5 other spirits to take home. Mrs Black replied she just wished to try the spirits at her own funeral then she would depart willingly. Lech, Boris and Gregorgi had had plenty of spirits now, they swore they could see angel and some shadows next to it. Mrs Black hearing this stood right in front of the boys and begged them to cut her lips open. So drunkenly the boys whipped out their knives, this frighten the crowd. But they explained and the crowd just laughed. #

It was hard to cut Mrs Black’s lips free, you try cutting thread with a huge knife if you don’t believe me, and if you’ve been punishing a bottle and its the lips of a ghost. You don’t want to cut yourself, nor cut the head off the ghost do you. Eventually Mrs Black’s lips were free, then she picked up a glass and toasted herself. She passed the glass back for the other spirits to share, the angel had nothing, not because it was boring, but because angels are tee total and never jump in where fools rush in.

Now it must be the magical properties of Lech, Boris and Gregorgi’s still but all the ghosts appeared before the crowd, they were afraid. Well apart from Tom the policeman, he’d wasn’t afraid of anything, well except spiders. The boys had spirits in them, beside the Holy Spirit had a soft spot for them too, after all the Good Works they did, so the boys were not afraid. Just stay where you are everybody advised Tom, there room for all.

So the ghosts had a few jars while the angel plucked on its harp, angels don’t have watches after all. Then as darkness fell it really was time for the ghosts to go to heaven, Percy the undertaker came running in, he’d found Mrs Black’s teeth. So Mrs Black the ghost grabbed her teeth from Percy the undertaker, and went happily into the afterlife. Lech belched, followed by Boris’ burp and Gregorgi’s rasping fart, so that sent the ghosts scurrying off to Heaven.

The Ghost Writer

now this is not the new story I promised, I stumbled over this one, from a few years ago, I hope you like it

The Ghost Writer ©

By Michael Casey

Michael did not plan to be a writer, it kind of found him, like tripping over somebody’s legs at an airport while you are reading a newspaper, then you notice that the legs you tripped over are very nice legs, that reach up to her hips. And instead of being angry at each other he and she found that there was a spark between them, they twinkled even. Marybeth was an American and she just loved his accent, she insisted on having his details. And as her bag on the floor said America Judo Team Michael could not resist.

Within six months she had joined him in Birmingham, the real Birmingham in England, a month after that she was pregnant, Michael had been saving up to be married and no doubt he had saved, he has saved all his, all his, well he had saved up all his, and she may have thrown him down on the mat, the mattress. But once she joined him there she had received all his, all his, well all his all. So she was pregnant and she was so happy, her child would have a British accent, now that was really cool, ever so cool in fact.

Now as Marybeth could make more money as a Judo instructor they decided that once Margaret had finished with Marybeth’s breast milk

then Marybeth would go back to her Judo school and Michael could be a Hausfrau. Besides Michael always wanted children so he was happy to be a Hausfrau, and if anybody took the mick about him being a Hausfrau then Marybeth would throw them against the garage door or through the garden fence, she was very protective that way. Marybeth just adored Michael and he was very good on  the mat too, and soon Denis arrived. They now had the perfect family with two beautiful children, Margaret and Dennis.

Michael enjoyed all the time he spent with his kids and Marybeth coming home and all the time he spent on the Judo mat with her, now he understood why Putin was always smiling, it must be all the time he spent on the mat with his Judo partner. Michael now had time to do some writing, it kind of emerged once the kids were having an afternoon nap he could go to the old clunky computer and write a story. He thought he could write stories for his kids, but he seemed to run out of ideas, so he thought what could he write about instead.

So Michael wrote a steamy account of his and Marybeth’s love life, he wouldn’t dare show it to anybody or publish it in a blog or an ebook. It was just for him and Marybeth, or that was the idea. When she came home one night full of sweat from hours throwing people all over the place, a Black Belt 9^th Dan can get very sweaty you know, so Michael stood outside the shower and read his first efforts to her.

If ever you share this I’ll hang you with my Black Belt, she said before she dragged Michael into the shower, it was a power shower like no other, all the way to level 9. And so it became a private very private thing between them, he scrubbed her back and she scrubbed his after he had read the latest installment of their private log. Captain Kirk’s log was never anything like this.

With this kind of lovemaking in the shower the plumber was a frequent caller, or he was until they splashed out after they had repeatedly splashed about in the shower, and finally bought an industrial strength bathroom suite, imported from Japan.

Michael’s log grew and grew and Marybeth should have had masses and masses of children, but Fate dictated that Margaret and Dennis were all the children they had. When Margaret and Dennis started  Primary school  they demanded a dog, a Labrador because they had seen a blind man in the street. Michael gave in and bought them a Labrador, and the children called it Camembert because the cheese was the same colour as the dog. The children also added optimistically that should daddy go blind then they had the correct dog already.

So life went on and Margaret and Dennis grew up big and strong and soon reached Black Belt standard, as for Michael he did not go blind, though Camembert thought he was as Michael always seemed to wear sunglasses. Marybeth enjoyed her life and her husband, even if they had to import 3 Japanese bathrooms over the years.

Finally Michael died but with a smile on his face, he had reach 10^th Dan, though not in Judo, Marybeth was consumed with grief, but after the funeral which was attend by many many Judo people, most with 50inch chests, and that was just the women. So after the funeral Marybeth sat glumly looking looking at the computer, Camembert III was licking her fingers trying to comfort her. Michael had never gone blind and all the Camemberts over the years never understood why he wore shades. So Marybeth read Michael’s log, she laughed and cried and finally had to have a shower in her Japanese bathroom.

While she was in the shower she had a funny feeling, was it Michael or rather his ghost, their love was so strong his ghost remained. Was she afraid? No Mrs Muir had her Ghost, now she had hers. So Marybeth found comfort for the next 20 years in her shower.

And when Marybeth died her children Margaret and Dennis published the manuscript, it was an international hit, especially in Japan. Obviously to avoid embarrassment it  had a pen name. The book was called Reaching Tenth Dan by Ghost Writer.

Maybe a new Ghost story tomorrow

Maybe a new Ghost story tomorrow

well I've had a nap and now I've had some cereals, so I'm thinking I might write a 2nd Ghost story in the morning. Not now at night as I don't want to spook myself overnight.

So I may continue the story where I left off last week, its posted below if you look past a few other stories.

Lech, Boris and Gregorgi  are bubbling away in my mind, I like the 3 lads and I really do think they'd make cartoon material.

Sadly I cannot draw, I can only draw cartoons with my words.

Everything is overshadowed by Arthur my arthritis popping up uninvited, the cuckoo in the nest that is my body.  I know you are all bored with it, so am I but only 5 years ago no trace of it or the quadruple heart bypass. Ok I won't bore you any  more tonight.

Just look out for the Ghost story, maybe Lech and Boris and Gregorgi might end up in it.  Now there's an idea. And if you are Polish, Ukrainian or Russian you could draw a picture of how YOU see them, if any teacher is reading this, that's a punishment idea. Read Michael Casey and then have to draw a picture, a double punishment.

If you look at the book covers my kids did years ago you can see some ideas.

Now can you tell Lech, Boris and  Gregorgi to put that vodka away, and I don't mean in their bellies, they have to be ready for any Ghosts.....



https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC


p.s. I had a haircut, my local Pakistani barber did the honors, no.4 all over

so now I look like a Walrus with a white/silver skull.

They used to say Barry White was the Walrus of Love, sadly I cannot sing though I try, and only have 2 kids, Barry had 6 I believe. Maybe I'll catch up, who knows you never know when you get caught up in the rain..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tB54XUhA9_w