Friday, 3 March 2017

Kiedy umrzesz będę musiał © by Michael Casey




Kiedy umrzesz będę musiał ©Michael Casey 
Rodzeństwo twierdzą, że zawsze, spójrz na swojej własnej rodziny, patrzeć przez okno na sąsiadów na drodze. Look North, South patrzeć, patrzeć Wschodu, patrzeć West, przestać patrzeć na pępka, rozejrzyj się dookoła ciebie. Spójrz wysoko w niebo i patrzeć w rynsztoku, czy istnieją jest gwiazd.Będę mieć swój pokój największy pokój, kiedy umrzesz, a ja zamierzam rzucić swoje rzeczy w skrzyni ładunkowej i dostać carted się jak śmieci. Nienawidzę cię, nienawidzę cię, ja naprawdę cię nienawidzę. Drzwi się zatrzasnęły się przerywają zdanie, nienawidzę cię! 
Zamierzam nagrać swoje rzeczy, więc nie będzie żadnego śladu. Chciałbym cię i przepłukać kremacji prochy w toalecie, więc mogłem pooh na ciebie każdego dnia. Tak właśnie to zrobię, będę zadowolony, jeśli nie ma. Nie smród z was o domu, to już nie będzie już zniknął.Potem, kiedy nowotwór uderzony, a następnie, gdy nowotwór uderzony, a następnie, gdy nowotwór uderzył, on wciąż powiedział jej, że jej nienawidził, wciąż powiedział jej, że jej nienawidził. Błędem byłoby zmienić swoją melodię, błędem byłoby zmienić swoją melodię. A jednak kochała go jeszcze bardziej, a jednak kochała go jeszcze bardziej. To jest sposób, w jaki były, to jest sposób, w jaki były.Mam operację jutro, dobra mam nadzieję, że umrze, zacznę przesuwając swoje rzeczy z pokoju. Tej nocy, zdał sobie sprawę, że będzie musiał nikogo na dyskusje, musiałby nikogo kochać, będzie musiał nikogo, aby pomóc mu w jego pracy domowej. Jak mógł powiedzieć, że kochał swoją siostrę, jak on mógł powiedzieć, że naprawdę kochał ją na kawałki, jak mógłby powiedzieć, że byłby załamany, że jego życie będzie się bez niej.Poszedł na Facebooku i dostał 10.000 ludzi modli się za nią każdego nominału żadnego. Udawał, że był chrześcijaninem i żydowskie i buddyjskie i Pagan, każdy Wiara i wszystko, co wierzą w jednego Boga albo miał jakąś formę wiary, po prostu przeszedł liście znalazł Wikipedia prosząc i błagając o modlitwę za siostrę. Domagał się, że Bóg uratował siostrę, on zaproponował, że weźmie się i przyjmuję wszystko i żadnego bólu jego siostra może mieć, po prostu daj mu nieść krzyż żadnego dla niej, po prostu uratować swoją siostrę, bo jej nienawidził. Ale to było normalne, że była starsza siostra po wszystkim.Następnie wyczerpany opadł na ziemię przed swoim komputerem, łzy zstąpił łzy zstąpił tylko modlić za moją siostrą będzie ya, ona umrze ale ktoś tam musi być dobry z modlitwy, po prostu modlić się o moją siostrę. Pewnie Nienawidzę mojej siostry, bo ona jest moją starszą siostrą po wszystkim, ale, ale, ale naprawdę ja ją kocham, rzetelny Bogu, że ją kocham, proszę ją uratować.Chłopak zapukał przycisk na swoim komputerze jego zarzuty zostały parze całego Facebooku, 10000 stał 100,000, a potem została podchwycona w lokalnej telewizji. Przez rano 2000000 modlili i nadzieję dla jego siostry, dużo chłopców, którzy nienawidzili ich wielkie siostry modliły też. Nie może żyć bez swojej siostry mogłeś.Nadal nienawidzę cię, nawet jeśli przeżył operację, nie sądzę Idę miękkie powiedział chłopcu jego starsza siostra, kiedy oglądałem wiadomości TV, w sumie 10.000.000 dołączył łańcuch modlitewny.Wiem, że mnie nienawidzisz i zawsze mówi siostra, a ja nie chcę w żaden inny sposób, ty nad nienawidzę me10,000,000 razy. A potem wołali razem, łzy radości, nadziei i miłości.

When You Die I'm Gonna Have



When You Die I’m Gonna Have©
By Michael Casey

Siblings argue, they always do, look at your own family, look out the window at the neighbours over the road. Look North, look South, look East, look West, stop looking at your navel, look around you. Look high into the sky and look in the gutter whether or not there are stars there.

I’m gonna have your room the biggest room when you die, and I’m gonna throw your stuff in a skip and get it carted away like rubbish. I hate you, I hate you, I really hate you. The door is slammed to punctuate the sentence, I hate you!
I’m going to burn your stuff so there will be no trace of it. I’d cremate you and flush the ashes down the toilet, so I could pooh on you every single day. Yes that’s what I’m gonna do, I’ll be glad when you are gone. No stink of you about the house, you will be gone gone gone.

Then when the cancer struck, then when the cancer struck, then when the cancer struck, he still told her he hated her, he still told her he hated her. It would be wrong to change his tune, it would be wrong to change his tune. And yet, she loved him even more, and yet she loved him even more. This is the way they were, this is the way they were.

I’m having an operation tomorrow, good I hope you die, I’ll start moving your stuff out of your room. That night he realised he’d have nobody to argue with, he’d have nobody to love, he’d have nobody to help him with his homework. How could he say he loved his sister, how could he say he really loved her to bits, how could he say he’d be heartbroken, that his life would be over without her.

He went on Facebook and got 10,000 people praying for her, every denomination none. He pretended he was Christian and Jewish and Buddhist and Pagan, every Faith and anything that believed in one God or had some form of belief, he just went through a list he found on Wikipedia asking and begging for prayers for his sister. 

He demanded that God saved his sister, he offered to take and accept all and any pain his sister might have, just let him carry any cross for her, just save his sister because he hated her. But that was normal she was a big sister after all.
Then exhausted he slumped down in front of his computer, the tears came down the tears came down, just pray for my sister will ya, she’s gonna die but somebody out there must be good with prayers, just pray for my sister. Sure I hate my sister because she is my big sister after all, but but but really I do LOVE her, honest to God I love her, please save her.

The boy had knocked a button on his computer his pleas had been steamed all over FaceBook, the 10,000 became 100,000 and then it was picked up on local tv. By the morning 2,000,000 were praying and hoping for his sister,  lots of boys who hated their big sisters were praying too. You couldn’t live without your big sister could you.

I still hate you even though you survived the operation, don’t think I’m going soft said the boy to his big sister as she watched the tv news, in total 10,000,000 had joined the prayer chain.

I know you hate me and always will said the sister, and I don’t want it any other way, you hate me10,000,000 times over. And then they cried together, tears of joy and hope and LOVE.







Thursday, 2 March 2017

A Glimpse Of Stocking



A Glimpse Of Stocking ©
By Michael Casey

Well yesterday was Ash Wednesday so I hope you are all still there, you may have given me up for Lent. I think we need a little levity so that’s what I’ll try for today. There may be pauses as the pain demands attention like a spoilt brat, or a North Korean leader, I’ve thrown in a political joke just for the journalists reading this. You think I’m a girl mentioning the pain, I’ll throw a few adjectives at you or even a metaphor if you are not nice to me, I’ll tell my Polish fans to come and hack you. 7000 plus hits in less than a week from Poland, maybe only they find me funny. So move to Poland, you really are so cruel, I’ll come a live next door to you. I knew that would shut you up, call yourself a sub editor, emphasis on the SUB.

Now that we’ve sorted out who is the boss shall I begin, and see I’m posh I use shall. We wish you used more deodorant. Silence in the ranks, I look like the Elephant in the Jungle Book, or is that just the smell. If any of you mutter anything again I’ll send you to Donald for a spanking.

Now spanking is a key word in English, those naughty boys, the SILENT naughty boys smile at the very mention of the word. If you have seen the Carry On Films then I need say no more. What I want to talk about today is how values have changed so much. Personally I think it’s all in the mind, what? It, it is all in the mind. 

You don’t have to lay it all on, or swamp everybody with it, it not IT, there is a difference. You know it, or shall I shout  IT, and I mean IT and not IT. Sometimes the Press pack are so deliberately boring. Donald give them a really  good spanking from me. I know MATT the cartoonist has whipped his crayons out already and you have a queue, or Line as they say in USA of journalists waiting to be spanked by Donald.

Ok I’ll leave that idea in your mind and I bet it’ll appear somewhere in cartoon form within a week, I am Mr Cartoons made from Words after all. Now where was I, yes I’m sat here talking to you all, and I have to confess I get Russian readers too, Putin reads me, yes he does, his MAD magazine got stuck in the post somewhere so he started reading my column, Nelson his press secretary put him on to me.  That’s what a bushy eyed man told me by the frozen peas in Aldi yesterday, or he may have been asking me to putin the peas into his basket. I just wish I was a linguist, LINGUIST, you lot are so slow sometimes.

Yes, what I really want to talk about today is the wanton use of sex in the media. In days of old a glimpse of stocking was classed as shocking but now anything goes. I think I saw it performed at the Good Old Days on tv. What is amusing us all at the moment is a feminist deciding to flash or half flash, her upper bits, I won’t use any words as it may upset nanny. I can hear the sound of the cane in the distance, 

Donald is spanking the journalists in the distance. They should have saved the DC Digger Metro Edition, not because its second hand bargains were the best in the whole of USA, and the supermarket coupons inside were always for the best shops. But because if you stuff it down the back of your trousers no amount of spanking by teacher will hurt.  

So rather than talk about the level of nudity, let’s look at this sideways, and sometimes you have to because the way things are published. Should I, moi Michael Casey from Birmingham England, should I have a shirt split to the navel to expose my quadruple heart bypass scar. Should I wear see-through pants, as you call trousers in USA, should I expose my short fat and hairy legs to show off my scars. The scars run from my socks and stop at my, well too high to mention, only my nurse has examined those regions. 

In today’s world the   Stars show everything, only a butcher shows more, laying in his shop window, and if the Stars were naked in a butcher’s shop window could you tell one piece of meat from another? And no I’m not suggesting the butcher lies naked in his shop window only holding his cleaver.

What if in the future the circle turns full circle. You wear a suit with cut outs exposing your elbows, just your elbows. The screams from women in the street as they faint with shock. Exposed elbows, terrible, shock horror. Somebody take him to Donald’s office for a spanking, he must be a terrible journalist or some such thing. Then even worse a suit with exposed knees, otherwise totally totally formal but the knees exposed, the utter depravity of it, exposing your knees in public.

The absolute worse of the worse would be shoes, patent leather shoes with the big toe exposed and wiggling for the whole world to see. Off with his head, somebody call the executioner, what Mr Pierpont is on holiday. Donald will have to give him a double spanking instead. Where is Pierpont? Oh, he went on a Nudist holiday to Brighton in England.

Oh just for the record Donald is a She, in these days of gender equality anybody can be called anything they like. Donald is the President of the Bad Grammar Corrective Ink Party. A private members club for Journalists in DC. What were you all thinking, I told you it’s all in the mind.









Wednesday, 1 March 2017

The Things we do for kids

The Things We Do For Kids ©

By Michael Casey

I’m listening to Bread on Spotify and the song is “Make it with You” which is how kids are made in the first place, between 3 and 4 am after a graveyard shift also works if anybody out there is having trouble creating a baby. Don’t worry be happy, when I was in the hotel years ago one girl blurted out that another wanted to breed with me because I had such cute kids. My standard joke is that ugly dads have beautiful kids, and cute parents have ugly kids, its balance, God’s sense of humour.

Once you have your kids you will do anything for them, you will wear shabby clothes just so your daughter can have that nice dress for the prom. I just remembered my dad had a made to measure suit, something unheard of for a working-class man, a blacksmith and steel worker. I only just remembered that story, and yes I paid for it, that’s an old memory from maybe 40 years ago, the Jewish tailor was very good, his name may come to me later on as I talk to you. Mr Rice comes to mind, but I may be confusing him with somebody I met in my travels.

My dad did so much for me and all his brood, and yes he had his heart broken by us all, and he had to heal our broken hearts, as did mum as do all mums. The Power of Love is such a great thing, and we all remember in the Bible the passage about achieving great things, but if there is no love, then there is nothing. I can remember our Jewish head boy  Hart was his name read the passage out in school assembly maybe 45 years ago, I remember him because his younger brother was in my brother’s form.

It is such a simple truth, and it is this simple truth that pervades us all, we love our kids to the death, to our own death, I was called “boy” by my dad till I was 40, he still cared and treated me like his little boy, even though I weigh as much as a heavyweight boxer, more to be honest.

Now I am a dad myself my duty and it is duty is to go out in the wind and rain to the corner shop to buy chocolate and other snacks while my girls study hard. Last generation was Oxbridge and this generation may equal that, or I may just give a Dr and the next Julie Walters to the world. Julie Walters used to live just up the road from our house when she was a humble nurse, washing a sleeping patient who was in fact dead.

I’d come home from an evening shift and dad may have the 1st forkful on his fork about to eat it, he’d offer me the food from his very mouth, just as birds feed their young, dad claiming he was not hungry. This is the standard I grew up with, so this generation means I go out in the rain for snacks for my girls, which is nothing compared to what my dad did for all his brood.

If is being sung by bread on Spotify now, if as they say is a very melancholy word, did we thank our mum and dad enough, did we say “I LOVE YOU” long enough and loud enough while they were alive, do we feel guilty about it when they are gone. My generation never went around saying this and doing that, just like reality tv people.

I did visit my dad every single day while he was in the old people’s home, and after 3 years of visits I met my wife, it’s all in Padre Pio and Me by Michael Casey, on the internet, so does that count as saying I love you? Bread are singing Everything I Own, and the words are so powerful, you can apply them to any form of lost love. Do I plan this, no I’m not that clever, but I am very quick at reacting, hence that’s why I mention Bread in this story.

Love binds us together as families, it’s in the breed and it’s in the blood as my dad used to say. We all would say kill me, save my child, have everything I own but save my family. If you love your things, your flash car or your big house more than your kids or more than your girlfriend then I would say you have never heard that Bible passage Without Love.

Today is Ash Wednesday 1st March 2017, just in case anybody finds this story in future years. Ashes to Ashes Dust to Dust if God Does Not Have You Then The Devil Must as we used to say as kids, but I’d say it’s true. WE are given our kids to treasure to love as long as we live, we should love them as much as life itself, and to die for them if we have to.

Just as Christ died for us.





Triple or Quadruple?

Triple or Quadruple? Well my 10 year anniversary is coming up I was told prior to my op it would be a triple BUT when I had a 6 month review...