The Chair something from 3 years ago

The Chair

The Chair © By Michael Casey When we got married we couldn’t afford much furniture, just a bed and an old armchair and a table to eat our dinner off. But that was fine my wife could always sit on my lap. That was nice and that was cosy and kept the fire going inside us and between us. But when somebody sits on your lap the passion soon rises, and soon you’re both naked and soon babies will come. So the question is should I/we all of us not sit on laps and just buy a second chair. Its more civilised no doubt but a girl sitting on your lap leaning against to is much more fun. Don’t you agree. What if you can’t afford any chairs, not even one? Is it better to sit on the floor doing Yoga positions? Would you both sit down cross legged and have serious conversations, and quote the Times, or would you both roll about and try something from the Sun? So would it be better to buy a chair, or steal two deckchairs from a beach? Furniture plays a major role in romance, a rocking chair is very romantic or even erotic, and when the babies come feeding a baby while rocking in a chair is such a nice feeling. Your favourite chair, or an old suite donated by a friend is great, you can cuddle up together and watch tv, even if your wife thinks you’re like Homer Simpson, not the ancient Greek philosopher. An old chair can be used to stand on while you wash the windows or change a bulb. I used to have an old huge battered old chair that I sat in while I speak these lines to you. Now we have a more modern and smaller chair that I sit in while I share these words with you. Perhaps when I’m very old I’ll have a commode for convenience sake and my daughters will spray perfume. Nobody knows the future but I do really miss my rocking chair. http://michaelgcasey.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/1M/92 http://michaelgcasey.multiply.com/photos/hi-res/1M/92 0 comments share

The Gettysburg Address

The Gettysburg Address

15/11/2013

NOVEMBER 15TH, 2013 12:45

The Gettysburg Address

By michaelgcasey

I don’t know about you but I did not know it will be the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address on Tuesday. But I’m in Birmingham England, just so USA visitors to this site know I’m not stupid, or too stupid. Seems to me though that they need a NEW Gettysburg Address. The GOP HATES Obama, I can see that on my tv, I don’t need to be over there to know this. Is it 40 or 50 times that Obama care has been drowned at Birth, or rather the GOP wants to do so. Over here the law is the law and you move on. Our Parliament voted not to join in military action over Syria and that was that. Over in the USA the GOP lost, but they try 40 or 50 times to say they hadn’t lost.
Everybody was full of hope the 1st time Obama was elected, now even though he won again  you have the debt crisis and Government shutdown. Should USA have a new Amendment to the Constitution, its just a big game of Russian Roulette. Little wonder everybody in USA thinks all politicians are jerks. Could you change the Constitution  so government works better?
Another point is that nobody votes, or GOP governors make it harder for Democrats to vote, by playing with polling times, Democrats are poorer and have to work more shifts etc, so if you cut the polling times less of them can vote. Though only 50% of the population  bother to vote, which means IF its a tight race only  just over 1/2 of the people have actually voted somebody in. So out of the total population only 25% actually support the winner.
Little wonder there is no respect for the President, or could it be just plain old fashioned Racism.
As for Obama care, I’d love for it to work. However it sucks. The computer system should have been right in the first place, a 2nd grader would tell you that, however its Drug/Insurance companies vested interests that he fighting against. I am so glad to live over here in UK, as NHS is a treasure, we have problems with it, but its free at point of use. NHS saved my dad’s life back in 1996, he was in hospital for 3 months. I dare to think of the cost in USA. Not to think of the costs in USA for medicine and dental. In the future I may need a hip op too, I imagine I could never afford that if I lived in the USA.
I also see on the USA news that Obama is called Socialist and worse. I’d say its just Christian charity, or Jewish/Islamic/Agnostic charity to help the weak in any society. That is not an ISM to be hated and despised, it should be something that is aspired too. Though just in case you think I’m giving Obama a blank cheque I am not, he is too much like a university Don, he seems too detached. He should have achieved so much more. He won the Peace Prize though History will remember him for his Kill List.
However IF John Kerry does finally pull something off with Iran THEN Obama will have earned his Peace Prize, I should add the more I hear from Kerry the more I think USA missed a good President in him. But what of  Gettysburg? It was a bloodbath, I’ve just had a look on the Internet, though it would takes weeks of study, years even to speak with authority on the subject. BUT I can say America needs a new turning point, American needs to lift the spirit of its people again. I don’t need to say why. So much anger and hate, so much division in Politics.
I grew up in the 1960/70s we had Apollo, Ali, Beatles, Kennedys, 1968 Olympics, Flower Power, FUN. That was then and what do we have now, Miley Cyrus, who has a great voice, but not enough money to buy some clothes.  What America needs is to reinvent itself for the 21st Century,  to have passion and mission. Perhaps we should search the oceans’ floor, we know next to nothing about the Deep. So much energy seems to be spent on dividing the USA, which still IS a beacon to the rest of the world.  So come on America, put Love back in your Life and in Politics,
So that in Lincoln’s words  ”government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

L*****************
http://www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com to HEAR me read 100 Shorts , 5 hours 30 mins of material

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Copywriting or Lying for Beginners

Copywriting or Lying for Beginners ©

By

Michael Casey

Salman Rushdie is famous for writing “Fresh Cream Cakes Naughty But  Nice” what he did after that peak you’ll have to Google. Me I’m a writer and I try and give a humorous slant on everything I do, though sometimes I’m serious, almost.

Words have meaning, words have power, words lie, words tell the truth, those are some words from a poem of mine long ago, you can find it amongst my books on Amazon Kindle. Who knows you may even find Salman Rushdie hiding amongst Amazon Kindle.

Copywriting is about telling a story with selling in your heart, as opposed to just plain old storytelling. My daughter has restarted reading the Brothers Grimm, now they knew how to tell a story, blood and guts and princesses too. Something for everybody in their tales.

I had to write a one page pitch document for a script of mine, 4 months later I’m still waiting to see if my pitch worked. Pitch writing is hard, what do you say, what do you leave out, what do you leave in?

It’s like doing a photo shop on yourself, is my hair right, should I comb it this way or that way. Should I pluck my eyebrows, should I do a stupid writer’s pose, why are writers’ fists glued under their chins? Technology can come to the rescue.

As for your words, those you have to do for yourself, pick out your best bits and hope people like the way you’ve put it on the page. 50 Shades of Grey puts things a different way, many a different way, but that appeals to a different audience than mine.

So what do you highlight as you try to sell your book with your blurb? The comedy, the pathos, the stupidity, your writing style? Who do you compare yourself to, in the vain hope that audience will then buy your book? I like the Brothers Grimm and I also like Don Camillo. But that’s from 60 to 160years ago, so am I losing my potential audience already? Only immortals will read me.

What I’m trying to say is that if you like them, then you must like The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker. If only I could get David Mellor to entice the audience for me, or Andrew Graham Dixon, get the two of them drunk on Stella Artois and get them to talk learnedly about my words. A Sunday afternoon full of praise for me, or rather my words.

We all hope our words are funny, and perhaps our prose is poetic, as one NY Poet did once say, as did one of our Pakistani Esol students  say too. It’s getting folks to read the blurb in the first place, that is the trick. So is it sex or violence or laughter that hooks the casual reader, what should you highlight?

I have recorded  100 of my shorts from my other books, I’ve even put them online at www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com so there in cyberspace are 100 examples of my words so people can judge me from afar, they can mock or laugh with me from the comfort of their own home.

Then you agonise over, is my voice too high, or is my voice too deep? To my own ear I sound like a lad, an ignorant lad. See I’m being honest, but immediately people will pick this admission up and use it as a stick to beat me with. However my poet friend in NY, she said I had a good tone, she liked my voice. My daughters say I sound like a news reader. The only way to find out is to listen. Somebody else said I sounded like Terry Wogan. So God Help Me, I’m ruined.

Adventures in Pinyin

Adventures in Pinyin (c) by Michael Casey

By michaelgcasey

Adventures in Pinyin(c)

By Michael Casey

My big daughter is doing her Deans Award soon, its a singing thing for those of you who don’t sing or don’t go near a church. She has a head start due to Betty her singing teacher. Betty teaches singing at Saint Hilda’s, so twice a week my two daughters get singing lessons, then on Sunday the real thing. My daughters also have piano lessons from Betty. Betty is 84 now and I believe deserves an OBE for all her industry.

So there was the Dean’s practice yesterday and my daughter did not get back till 9pm. So while I was on the computer I was thinking what next should my girls be introduced to. Pinyin came to mind. Both girls speak Chinese/Shanghai already as most of you already know. My big daughter can 1/2 understand IMs from Birmingham  to granny in Shanghai already. So it would be nice if she could read/write Chinese too.

Traditional Chinese would be too much of an ask, however Pinyin offers hope. So I browsed Amazon for books. I should say I once did email the Chinese Embassy but got no reply. I had hoped they would recommend books we could buy. So  now I’ll try Amazon. I have in fact ordered 2 books. Amazon will no doubt suggest many more, once you click on anything they know what you like and offer much more of the same.  Outlook is boasting the fact they don’t read your emails like Gmail, but they do Judging from the adverts and targeted mail I get. Try GMX mail and see what they are like.

One of the books I’ve ordered is little stories with Traditional Chinese, Pinyin and then English plus vocabulary. So I’m hopping that’ll encourage my girls. I do have a hope that I could do the exact same thing using my shorts in 300 and Not OUT plus recordings from www.michaelgcasey.typepad.com but going from English into any other language.

The best I can do is wo ai ni but it’s been enough for our marriage and 2 daughters. However to be able to write to the Shanghai side of the family would be good and in the future when our daughters grow up being able to speak Chinese and write it through Pinyin would be a great help to themselves. Or they could just follow Carrie Gracie or the Sky news girl, a Casey correspondent in Shanghai, and get free dinner from grannie.

Like all bilingual children daughters get scolded in Shanghai/Urdu/Japanese then reply in English. I just want them to take advantage of their advantage. Being pretty is an advantage too, but we make sure that  they know that looks are really transitory. They won’t be spoilt like Verruca  in  Charlie and The Chocolate factory, not by us anyway. I do look forward to being a spoilt OAP myself, that’s assuming everything  stumbles to a happy conclusion.

So I’ll be boring you all with updates on the Pinyin progress. And don’t forget you can always read my stuff on Amazon Kindle just look for the Panzi, this is my Chinese name, it means FAT FAT BOY.

Winter's Coming

Winter’s Coming©

By Michael Casey

I decided yesterday that Winter was coming. How did I decide that, or should I say notice that. It was on the school run that my head and my big ears, and I do have big ears, felt cold. You can pull the hood over your head, but then it makes crossing roads more dangerous. If you have a hood up you cut down your field of vision.

So on the way home yesterday I promised myself to dig out my winter coat. So today I’m wearing my winter coat, and will be wearing it for a few months.  It makes me look as if I’m about to go skiing, skiing in Birmingham. There are a few hills where I live, but none as large as those in the Alps. So I may look the part especially with my shades on too, but sadly no après ski in Birmingham.

There is a freshness in the air too, you still cannot see your own breath, which is always fun from a child’s perspective, but your ears feel it.  So you have to dig out that silly woolly hat to go with your geese down coat. My daughters told me that my woolly hat was a woman’s woolly hat. I don’t agree or care about the gender of my hat, so long as my head and ears are warm.

Gloves are also required, now that Winter has poked it’s tongue out at us. I have 4 old pairs, I never throw things out, I’m not a gloves collector. My favourite pair is a red thinsulate pair, only they had holes in. So I had to sew my gloves back into life, sewing does actually give life back to our things. Gloves, socks or shirts we put new buttons on. By sewing we restore and renew our simple things. We have a favourite thing our mum gave us or knitted for us, we don’t want to throw it out, so we dig out the sewing kit.

Yes I can sew, every man should sew. Silas Marner did and so can I. I’ve just reminded myself of the film version, that would be a nice film to watch again while the Winter does its best outside, or the original book by George Elliot would be a good book for my daughters to read.

With Winter coming my attention turns to the shoe rack, I’ll dig out those horrible old clunky pair of brown leather shoes. I really hate the look of them but they are so good in Winter weather. I had some old proofing wax in the bottom of the sink unit, next to the old original bread bin, an antique now, just like me, anyway I squeezed the end out of the wax and proofed those shoes. So in theory those shoes will survive anything Winter throws at them. However there is a problem, and a slight stink, the proofing wax came from my last trip to Ireland and may be 20years old. It’s been under the sink in a tin for 20 years.

All in all I’m ready for Winter, our local shopping street is ready too, the Christmas lights are installed. Let’s hope the local council can afford to switch them on.

The Cat's away the mice will play

The Cat’s away the mice will play©

By Michael Casey

Mum is off to London in the morning for training for her new job. So what will me and the girls be up to? Haven’t decided yet, but its half term too, so staying up late watching films or the MTV channels beckons.

We watch loads of films already, we must have 40plus on our Sky+ box. But we’ll have fun and sweets, and maybe an illegal bag of chips or a kebab. Remember the girls follow Chinese diet, even though Shanghai and grannie is 5000miles away or 8000km if you are metric. So non-Chinese food is a treat.

We like Elementary and Body of Proof, so that’ll be on the list for tv shows to watch. Or Coraline for the 20^th time. Stardust will be on the Disney channel so that’ll be watched again for the 10^th time. Stardust has a name on the crew who’s reading something of mine, but that’s another story.

So getting up late and feeding the girls will be the start. Piano practice in return for a treat afterwards. In the army you have to do 100 push ups, in our house you have to read 200pages. Only then can you move forward to fun. Monopoly might put in an appearance , just as it did 45 years ago. I’m recreating the fun and love that I had as a child so that the girls will do the same when they are parents themselves. Monopoly down the generations.

I do of course have to tell them that orange juice is bad for them, otherwise they’d steal all my juice. Phycology is always in the parent’s armoury, or if you prefer how to lie to children for the sake of your own peace and quiet. They mustn’t do x y or z or their nose might drop off, or if the tv is too loud their ears might drop off.

Parent’s always say these things, just watch Disney channel if you don’t believe me. Once the children are fed and watered you can settle down together to enjoy a show on the box. Is it going to be live show as my Shanghai wife calls it, or one of 40 programs recorded on the Sky+ box. In a way we are spoilt for choice. 

Then there are the ads, 3 minutes of ads on non BBC channels. At least it means I can keep up with the news or weather while the ads are on.

Then there are the toilet breaks because we have had too much drinking chocolate. At least Sky+ has live pause so all toilet emergencies can be fitted in. Or when mum rings us from London we can pause the tv while we chat with her.

Then satisfied with our tv watching I can hunt the girls to bed while I watch the press preview. So I assume everybody reading this will be doing the exact same thing. The only difference is that everybody else will be eating Chinese as a treat, but chez nous it’ll be chips with everything. Happy Half Term everybody.

Waiting for Saint Jude's Storm

Waiting for Saint Jude Storm ©

By Michael Casey

It feels as if we are Americans now, we have a storm coming and it has a name. Saint Jude. I had to look at my religious calendar to my right before I saw where Jude had come from. 

In 30mins it will be Monday 28^th  and that makes it Saint Jude’s day. I got the calendar for free I should add, just as we have a Chinese religious calendar in the kitchen, handy for all the kids activities.

I’ve put everything that can fly away, so that it doesn’t. I’ve even picked up a few stray cola cans from the street, so I’ve done my best to keep us safe. My father actually saved the undertaker’s son’s life, and all because of a stray cola can.

The can had been squashed by traffic, then as the undertaker’s son was crossing the road  a beer wagon from the brewery had run over it and sent it flying, cutting the undertaker’s son on the leg, so he was flat on his back in the street. Just then another beer wagon was thundering down the road with beer barrels rattling. The sun would have set for this son. Only my dad stepped into the road and dragged the son to safety.

I put this story as part of the fiction , into The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker my first book. This all happened 25 years ago and more. When my father died years later the Undertaker’s son was able to thank my father properly, as only an Undertaker can. In death my dad looked 10 years younger, thanks to the son he saved.

So now the clock is ticking and we hope and pray Birmingham and the rest of the country are spared from the wrath of Saint Jude. My mum used to shake Holy Water into the storm asking it to be quiet. I’m sure many prayers are being said, by many Faiths an none, in number 10 too, we could all do without this storm.

We are all united though, we’ll look after our old nan and make sure we keep all our kids out of harm’s way. One death is one too many, and that death has already been reported. So wrap up tight and stay home, lose 3 hours pay and play with the kids. Only when the BBC weather says the worse is over, then venture out.

For tomorrow is another day, and let’s hope Saint Jude does the impossible, keeps us all out of harms way.