The Cat's away the mice will play

The Cat’s away the mice will play©

By Michael Casey

Mum is off to London in the morning for training for her new job. So what will me and the girls be up to? Haven’t decided yet, but its half term too, so staying up late watching films or the MTV channels beckons.

We watch loads of films already, we must have 40plus on our Sky+ box. But we’ll have fun and sweets, and maybe an illegal bag of chips or a kebab. Remember the girls follow Chinese diet, even though Shanghai and grannie is 5000miles away or 8000km if you are metric. So non-Chinese food is a treat.

We like Elementary and Body of Proof, so that’ll be on the list for tv shows to watch. Or Coraline for the 20^th time. Stardust will be on the Disney channel so that’ll be watched again for the 10^th time. Stardust has a name on the crew who’s reading something of mine, but that’s another story.

So getting up late and feeding the girls will be the start. Piano practice in return for a treat afterwards. In the army you have to do 100 push ups, in our house you have to read 200pages. Only then can you move forward to fun. Monopoly might put in an appearance , just as it did 45 years ago. I’m recreating the fun and love that I had as a child so that the girls will do the same when they are parents themselves. Monopoly down the generations.

I do of course have to tell them that orange juice is bad for them, otherwise they’d steal all my juice. Phycology is always in the parent’s armoury, or if you prefer how to lie to children for the sake of your own peace and quiet. They mustn’t do x y or z or their nose might drop off, or if the tv is too loud their ears might drop off.

Parent’s always say these things, just watch Disney channel if you don’t believe me. Once the children are fed and watered you can settle down together to enjoy a show on the box. Is it going to be live show as my Shanghai wife calls it, or one of 40 programs recorded on the Sky+ box. In a way we are spoilt for choice. 

Then there are the ads, 3 minutes of ads on non BBC channels. At least it means I can keep up with the news or weather while the ads are on.

Then there are the toilet breaks because we have had too much drinking chocolate. At least Sky+ has live pause so all toilet emergencies can be fitted in. Or when mum rings us from London we can pause the tv while we chat with her.

Then satisfied with our tv watching I can hunt the girls to bed while I watch the press preview. So I assume everybody reading this will be doing the exact same thing. The only difference is that everybody else will be eating Chinese as a treat, but chez nous it’ll be chips with everything. Happy Half Term everybody.