The Witch’s Cat who fell to earth ©

 By Michael Casey

It’s Halloween today and now is the night of Halloween into All Saints day in the Morning. But what of this morning when it was in the still of the night and as pitch dark as a witch’s hat or black pot.  Things go bump in the night, and they did, a loud bump to be exact.

BUMP, it went, BUMP it went, BUMP it went, the house shuddered in the noise. What could the BUMP be, then our burglar alarm went off. So I jumped out of bed naked, me and PJs don’t work, I only wore them in hospital. So I bounced out of bed and put my suit of armour on. It literally is a suit of armour, I had it ready for Halloween, now I’d use it to frighten any burglar.

Then I headed for the stairs and fell down them, I was the biggest bump in the night. I checked the perimeter before switching off the alarm, it’s hard to switch off an alarm while wearing a gauntlet. I sat down and heard the cat miaow. It was Totoro our cat, she had been asleep on top of our tall fridge, and decided to go for the long leap, and set off the alarm.

It was her who had fallen to earth not a witch’s familiar, though she would make a perfect witch’s pet. My small daughter came down wondering what was all the noise for, I explained as I put the kettle on. It was 4.30 am and as pitch black as our old coal shed, but it was always a good time for tea.

Upstairs the secondary alarms were still ringing out, so my big daughter went to switch them off. When she came back she asked where had the cat gone. My small daughter ran upstairs to close the window, closing the door after the horse had bolted if you like. Only Totoro had escaped into the dark of the night. She literally was a cat on a hot tin roof, or rather a slippery moss covered roof.

So small daughter hung out the window beseeching Totoro to come back, she tried to bribe her with treats. Meanwhile at ground level I reached up to the roof and asked Totoro to jump down to my outstretched arms. Big daughter brought a chair for me to stand on, only Totoro did not recognise me in the suit of armour.

Totoro disappeared out of my view. Upstairs Totoro had jumped down onto our neighbour’s roof, and it was only by manic shaking of the bag of treats that Totoro was encouraged to move back to our property.

Meanwhile big daughter was getting out our ladder from under the pantry, only she had first to move our stockpile of 48 rolls of toilet paper, which was on offer at Costco. Then she passed out the metal stepladders. I climbed stiffly up the ladder in my suit of armour only to hear small daughter shout triumphantly that she had rescued or rather bribed Totoro to come inside.

So we had a collective sigh of relief and finished our cup of tea, it was 5.00am The cat had not fallen off a witch’s broom, though it had cast its spell over us all, we had danced to its tune, it was witchcraft, and if only it could turn my suit of armour into some nice XXL Pjs.