Crawling like a worm in the dirt, will be today’s story. A true piece from 10 years ago
Today 11th Nov is Remembrance Day, but for me it is also my dad’s Birthday, he would have been 98 today. He did reach 80, after his massive heart attack, read Padre Pio and Me for a bit more info. I doubt I’ll reach 80, though maybe God’ll find a use for me here on this earth, and avoid me cluttering up Heaven too soon. Though some of you may prefer that, then you would not have to suffer my writing.
It’s great that The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is being read world wide via the Translations on this site. Though I’ve yet to make any money from it, as the Internet is free etc.
Jeff Bezo has yet to make me an offer for my words, all 1,530,000 , so far.
But at least his Alexa is great company, though we renamed it immediately.
American Samoa has joined my readers club, so who on earth went that far away to avoid me? Send me an email if it was you, though I never open links, so any photo has to be inserted not attached etc. But thank you whoever you are. I have world wide coverage, like mountain dew, or mist all over the world. I still await the Tsunami of words covering everywhere. Wasn’t there a French painter who was out there over 100 years ago, you can google his name is seconds.
So I’ve done a lot of screaming and sprayed my back so I could manage to get down the stairs to let the groceries in. My bad back started 10 years ago or so, it has been a good while since it decided to hurt me, my Sine curve of pain is so very interesting, for want of a polite word.
Crawling Like a Worm in The Dirt, humbled by a photo copier.
Well this is my 100th post, I had hoped I could think up something nice or even spectacular. This is what I’ve come up with. I’m laughing now as I type. Yesterday 5minutes after I started work I bent down to fill up the copiers. I filled one, then another, then I did a third. I then screamed, I had straightened up too fast and had ricked/strained my back on the right hand side. So these past 27hours have been a lesson in pain and humility. I felt such a fool at work, the girls I work were both sympathetic and funny. Somebody came by for some coloured paper , I bent down to look under our shelf and I was racked with pain, one girl told me to crawl away out of the way so that she could find it instead. I hobbled away, out of the way. The rest of day I moved about like an 80 year old, rather like my own dad. I hoped that on my lunch break while I sat for 30mins in the cathedral my back would be restored. We stand all day in our print as some of you may remember me mention. Prayer and rest for 30mins no doubt aided my soul but not my back. I went back to work and hobbled about for a couple of hours. Then I decided I really had to go home and rest.
Getting home I got off the bus and had to walk only 300yards, a crippled Charlie Chaplin kind of walk, though I look more like Oliver Hardy. I was home 2 hours earlier than normal so the family were surprised.
I told them I was fired as a joke. Then I sat down on an old chair and then I could hardly move. Standing up again was an impossiblity. Last Friday we had a drama with my youngest, this Friday,Friday13th it was my turn. My girls all laughed at me,just as I would laugh at them if the tables were reversed. Night came and knew I could never climb the stairs to bed, but at least our bathroom was downstairs. So I tumbled onto our sofa and got ready to spend the night there. Only we have a glass coffee table in front of it and I was afraid of falling off onto it. So at 1am I staggered up the stairs like a drunk with locked joints, then I rolled onto my bed, screaming as I did so. I did sleep, but in the morning I had to slither out like a snake sliding out of bed on my belly. Some positions were possible and some were not. My wife laughed till she cried my youngsters did too, as for me, I laughed and cursed and laughed again. My wife went to see the pharmacy man for advice and a spray for me. The pharmacist laughed too, he’s an old friend. When she got back I was all sprayed up, the old spray and the newly bought one drenching me and my room with the stench of a bad back. I slithered in and out of bed, crawling around as I couldn’t stand up straight. As for getting down stairs that would be an impossiblity. My wife went shopping, stopping first to steal my debit card, laughing she left me in my bed of pain. When she returned she gave me yoguart and orange juice. Later I just had to go downstairs, but I couldn’t walk. I slithered off bed like snake, then made it to my hands and knees, then an inspired idea. I bounced down the stairs one step at a time, on my butt , one step at a time. Then I crawled across our living room and pulled myself up onto a chair. I did notice that we needed a new carpet after 20years our carpet does need replacing. I then rewarded myself by stealing my wife’s pork she’d just made.
Later after some movements like belly dancer of 120 years old, I managed to straighten up. I do walk as if I have a full diaper though. I made it too my big chair in front of my computer. And that’ s how I got to write this 100th post.
The moral of all this? Well I am a very bad patient. Health is the most important thing in our lives. I rejoice that my girls have a good sense of humour, even if I am the butt of it all. Last year when I had food poisoning they had plenty to laugh about then. And I do laugh at that memory. We are all worms crawling in the dirt. It is God’s love that lifts us up, as does our family life. Sometimes it is only though pain and adversity that we learn such truths, sometimes we learn mundane things, but they too have meaning for us, even if its just the fact that we need a new living room carpet.
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I noticed The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker is being read today in ITALIAN on this Blogger, so is that Benedict or Francis, I'll accept blessings from either.
Published by michaelgcasey
I've updated this today 17th Oct 2019 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... I've done loads of writing, 1,531,000 Words worth over 30 years now But before I started I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 50 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 I also had other high praise, so I ignore all the nasty negative people who use too much alliteration I also ignore those who just cannot write, making money does not mean you can tell a story Pick your own famous writer, who you avoid Today's world has much print, but a page will not refuse ink, as my dad used to say I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I must have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 7 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 60 countries now Or its just a hit man on the run, or bored Navy Seals or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker I also had a low budget film producer take a look at it Book Publishers have said I've made the commissioning editor laugh Radio People say they like my style So close but no cigar is the story of my life As for my life, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales I also was a concierge and an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school I can always make somebody talk or laugh, I am an 18 stone George Clooney look alike Laugh or Die so to speak I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. That's the end of the tidy version of my life, if you want more come and buy me a Stella Artois and all will be revealed. Though 12 pints a year is my ration. To finish here's the list of my 18 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views My 19th book will be The 19th Hole and Donald Trump will review it when he resigns https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks ok, that's your lot, this reads serious, but generally I refuse to be serious, though I do heckle the news for 50 years now TTFN Michael Casey p.s. my email is michaelgcasey@hotmail.com for all praise, I get enough Junk email already
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