I only read English but I get junk in many languages

I  only read English but I get junk in many languages
including Hebrew from African  jokers
I just delete my many junk emails unread

Google Translates my stories not me

Though I can speak a little French and Spanish

see you all later

I'm King of the Fairies

I'm King of the Fairies (c) by Michael Casey Russia
Portugal
United States
Belgium
Germany
United Kingdom
Mexico
Poland these are just some of today's readers on one of my sites, yes it's true or I'm not King of the Fairies Go on pull his wings off, I order you to Take his magic wand away, not there, in his hand stupid. Rub his nose in the  dirt, sprinkle dandruff instead of magic dust Hold a mirror up so to reverse his spells I am king of the Fairies I order you Hide the Easter eggs so they cannot be found  We know its all wrong, but let's not tell the Fairy High Council WE are not conspiring with the Elves, though we know their spells Just do it, do it, just do it, or I'll pull your wings off myself. The Children think I'm on the straight and narrow, not using a wheelbarrow for my ill gotten gains I caste a wicked spell in toy town, killing the riddle maker, but still they'd love me Quick do it,do it, do it, be my slave, I never behave, so why should you. A darkness fell over the Fairy Land, all the wings fell off all the fairies All that was left were the Incantation Spell, written in stone above the fire place. If one good fairy was left to read it, then all would be saved. Behave, Put others first, teach others to fly, sharing your fairy dust is a must. A lady, lady liberty strode to the fireplace and spoke the words. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"  And then, and then the evil King of the Fairies was no more, his own spite consumed him And Fairy Land was free once more, free at last, free at last

How can you be

How can you be …©

By

Michael Casey

I was thinking about what to talk about tonight, now that the sun has set, and I’ve slapped on the Movelat pain killer, my left shoulder audibly clicks now, but I’m going on like a cracked record, I know you just want the story. You just want me to lie on the bed while you use me. What? Hold the phone as Shrek might say. I do have you attention now. The question tonight is do you care or do you just want people to be robots and do your bidding.

I hate the self-service tills in shops, though Poundland is the only shop I use that has them, I buy my cheap toiletries there, why pay more? Self-service is no service, I want to share a laugh and a joke with the staff. Otherwise we all become soulless robots, which is a Czech word if memory serves. People  have personalities, and we all like to interact. The chair in the corner of the shop was there for a reason, it’s there that gossip is exchange, and a friend of a friend knows somebody who can do something for you at a reasonable price. Or you can pick up a card from a telephone box, Mandy Personal  Services, who’ll do anything you like for  a reasonable price, and  the off-chance of a visit to the clinic.

We all take others for granted, like the cleaner who comes into the office and tidies our mess. Though some of the best conversations I’ve had have been with cleaners, as I always worked Twilight shifts. Yes I know, I must be a Vampire, you are all so very very obvious. Though I do awake every 2 hours like a Vampire once I’ve squeeze past the sentry that is called Tinnitus. So take it from me, talk to your cleaners, you never know they might come and clean your own house too, freeing you to do the ironing, or they might do it for you. Yes you have to pay them, but you can be upstairs with the boyfriend pretending to be Mandy, see a perfect circle.

How can we not notice the flowers growing, are we just too busy on our phones playing games instead of looking at real life all around us. It’s 17^th April 2019 now, so Spring has sprung. I look at the flowers I’ve planted and watch our bush sprout, renewed life and hope. Greenery from dead wood, life sprouting anew. It really is a wonderful thing. Not just because it’s my first fruits at the new house, my transplanted Shamrock have started  to grow at the back of the house, and I’m watching to see if they grow in the front garden  too. My pansies are beginning to fade but some rose stems appear to be growing. My daughter had flowers at Valentines, so after 2 weeks in a vase I  stripped and  chopped the stems and  shoved them in the front garden. And now they seem to be growing, if everything works we will have red roses growing in our front garden. Have I inherited my mother’s green fingers?

Flowers are inanimate objects, but they do fill us with hope and love. So think how important it is to nurture friendships. Say hello to the little old lady on the bus, or who pushes that trolley past you every day. Don’t be a wall. Say hello to the tasty Asian girl who parks outside your house, or to that big Black bodybuilder, or that red haired Gay boy with the beard who you really really fancy. Or stop that Priest and hear his confession outside  the butchers. We all need to interact and share our pain and love, if God’s too busy saving Notre Dame, we have to help ourselves, as God helps those who help themselves.

How can we be like stone, unmoving to Life? Switch off those mobile phones, and talk to somebody, make love to the cleaner. Literally and figuratively. Before the only mark we make on stone is our dates of birth and dates of death, an empty life  just like a stone.

Writing Comedy an Idiots Guide That Fails

I'll write something new in AM , here's something to keep you  going

Writing Comedy an Idiots Guide That Fails ©

By

Michael Casey

Well first of all a big thank you to the Polish readers out there, 20,500 was the score when I checked a minute or two ago. Why? I have no idea and a famous British comedian Eric Morcambe once said if it works it works, don’t analyse the Joke. So am I tempting Fate this April Fool’s Day 2017? Or Poisson d’Avril if you are French, and I also get French readers, not unless its Roman Polanski in Paris and the fashion guy with the fingerless gloves. They read my stories avidly you know, they even ring each other up and compare notes on my latest story. He, that’s me, is total rubbish says Polanski, yes total rubbish says the fingerless gloves Fashion designer, Lagerfeld, I just remembered his name, anyway Lagerfeld thinks I’m total tosh too, see a 3word alliteration just for you.

When you come over for cheese fondue just bring 2 more packs of TUC biscuits, it’s my monthly treat says Lagerfeld. And what film shall I bring from Blockbuster Video asks Polanski, who has a gold membership card and can now get 30% discount. Oh I heard that Paddington is a gem, if you can get Paddington 2 as well then we can make a night of it, my VHS  video recorder has been fixed now replies Lagerfeld as a model parades a new 500,000 design in front of him. More buttons is all he says, it is for the Korean market and they just love buttons after all. And thanks Roman I just got 10 crates of Chinese champagne from a grateful Shanghai client so we may as well try it with all my staff, actually it’s not too bad with cheese fondue. 

As Lagerfeld uncorks all the Chinese Champagne the 1^st Paddington is  placed in the VHS video recorder, as Polanski is here they watch on a small 15inch tv with a little table laden with cheese fondu  and Chinese champagne. They had a debate for 6 months before they upgraded the tv to colour, they are real Film People after all. In a corner covered with a sheet is a Mark Kermode, you don’t want to miss any of the film after all, once started you can never interrupt a film, this is not Sky Q after all. 

The loyal staff are facing the opposite direction, they have a 102inch UHD tv screen with a sound bar that could keep the North Atlantic out, or an over eager boyfriend, they have the latest blue ray versions. Carl really does look after his staff, his family. So merrily Roman and Carl enjoy their film on VHS, the TUC biscuits go down well too. Tears are shed when Paddington is in peril, Polanski and Lagerfeld have to console each other, but are so happy when all is well at the end,  now they shed tears of happiness.  

Then Lagerfeld and Polanski discuss the film craft in Paddington, and Lagerfeld scribbles down an idea for a duffle coat, his billionaires cliental will go mad with desire for it. Almost as much they’d want to breed with Michael Casey to have pretty half half children just like his own. Roman and Carl laugh till they cry just at the thought of that idea.

Then they play poker, Lagerfeld changes his gloves for this, Polanski thought he’d fleece Lagerfeld for the 10 dollars they play for, but Lagerfeld treats the poker as seriously as he treats everything, apart from Michael Casey, he is the fool from Birmingham who gives him so much joy, well in Michael Casey’s imagination anyway.

Just as they are finishing their epic game of poker and Paddington has been replaced by the Kardasians on the mega tv Polanski and Lagerfeld laugh till they cry at the serious antics of the Ks. I couldn’t make a film to parody the Ks they do it so well themselves, says Polanski. I could make dresses for all of them, they would be made of paper bags, Walmart paper bags, or maybe Prix Unique bags to be a little more chic. Then Roman and Carl collapse into each other’s arms laughing.

So that explains just how I have French readers, it a Polish reader and a German in France, making dresses for Chinese Billionaires, who all want to breed with me to have beautiful children, who may or may not have silver hair. Just one thing Carl, if I may call you by your Christian name, can you remove the covers from Mark Kermode, he has to get back to the BBC in time for the Film review.

Happy April Fools’ Day everybody from the Birmingham Fool on a Hill.

****

well this is a repeat 16 april 2019 so I'm a bit late and Lagerfeld is Late too, he really was so good, so say hello to my mum in Heaven

many spread readers

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 16/04/2019 1 Minute

many spread readers
Well the Arabic computer translation on The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker
is being read all over USA and even in Saudi today.
So thank you all wherever you all are, you could pray for me 5 times a day
All  and any prayers are welcome
My Jewish readers read the Hebrew version too, and in Italy the Italian is being read
So that’s 2 more faith groups all reading my words.
God will be cornered so he will have to let me in.
Korean, Japanese, Chinese and Russian readers are reading translations of my stuff
Is that 7 major languages as well as English speaking readers?
A big thank you to you all.
For entertainment I posted a picture of my new  2019 Dream House earlier,
my mother used to say there were many mansions in Heaven, though I doubt if I’d
ever live long enough to  earn or win a mansion. If I persuaded one person to actually
buy one book that’d be an achievement. Because the Internet is Free.
I was in the woods up the road earlier, I’d get a dog if I got the dream house

If you want yo buy the Rights to my 2000 stories then...

If you want to buy the Rights to my stories then…

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 16/04/2019 0 Minutes

If you want to buy the Rights to my stories then…

this is my new dream house for 2019, plus a car and a puppy dog and a  very large amount of money and pay me royalties
Its 1.5 miles from where I am maybe, I’d have to make some more children too…

Paris Prayer

The Building may have gone but the Prayers endure
Prayers and People make a Church
A Church no matter how fine is just stone
It is the wood of the cross that make a difference
And it is Easter Day that matters most
So shed a tear for a building
But have tears of joy  for what matters most
Easter and Hope
Christ is Risen