State of the Union 2019 by Donald Trump

State of the Union 2019 by Donald Trump ©

By

Michael Casey

Thank You Madame Speaker.

(I really hate you, you old B**&&)

It’s such an honour to be here.

(Thank ***** I caved in or I’d still be in the WH)

I am as you know the Best President Ever.

(I REALLY MEAN THAT)

I stand before you, the Greatest President of The Greatest Country.

(Wild, applause, I knew I could sucker them with a double sentence)

The Shutdown was all Nancy’s Fault.

(Nancy and the Democrats roll their eyes, she resists the tempatation of hitting him with the gavel)

America is Great Again because of Me, JOBS, JOBS, JOBS.

(It was nothing to do with the hard work of all the American people)

I repeat everything is because of me, or MOI as my good close friends in France say, and thanks again for the Statue of Liberty.

I will build a wall, a W A L L.

( forget the tests saying it can be cut through with basic tools or tunneled under)

I will build more N U C L E A R weapons, to make us safer.

( Putin has the codes he hypnotised me when I was alone with him)

I will enact new law to deport nasty people

( I would say I’m xenophobic if I could pronounce it)

I will enact new laws to enhance women

( I like enhanced women, paying off 18 women 2 years ago does not mean I’m guilty of Anything, and Cohen is a LIAR  anyway)

Let’s get even more women working in business, equality for all.

(Ivanka needs more tax breaks, so I need the cover)

Poll numbers mean nothing to me, only the welfare of Americans.

( The Government Layoffs don’t count, they are slaves anyway)

I will be giving more Press Conferences in Future

(Nancy smiles, he is hitting himself with the Gavel now)

I want people to hear the Truth straight from the horses mouth

(Nancy nearly chokes with suppressed laughter)

The People Know I am an Honest Man, a hard working man for them.

(Trump points all around Congress, smiling his best smile)

Together we the people can keep me in the White House, till we finish cleaning the dump, if it were a hotel I’d shut it, Chelsea can shut it too.

(Sound of jaws dropping and people dropping pens deliberately)

I’ve hardly had any time for golf since I’ve been in office, check my Facebook page if you don’t believe me.

(Ripple of laughter all over Congress)

People respect us now, they know limp Obama is not in charge any more, a real man, a tough guy is in charge now. A MAGA man.

(rolling of eyes everywhere, especially from back from school Intelligence crew)

I will be meeting with North Korea again, they know I’m great. Kim has such nice handwriting too, I keep all his letters on my bedroom wall.

( I also have pictures of other Koreans on my wall too)

China respects us now, Xi and Me really have Chemistry.

(No mention of World Economic crash if he gets it wrong)

All in all I give myself an A++ for my first two years, don’t you agree?

Trump extends his hands awaiting applause like a travelling preacher.

(Nancy starts to laugh aloud, she cannot stop herself, everybody joins in, Putin is right, he really is too immature.)

Trump smiling his conceited smile leaves the room, if he hurries he’ll be back at home in the White House to watch the reviews of himself on Fox News.

Outside the statutes of the greats cry with shame, oh God Oh God, why did thou desert us. The security have funeral faces, is this man really the President? The cock crows and they all cry bitter tears.

Monday, 4 February 2019

Arab Spring or Michael Casey Rash?

Arab Spring or Michael Casey Rash?

michaelgcasey Uncategorized 04/02/2019 1 Minute

Arab Spring or Michael Casey Rash?
Well judging by the figures I seem to be spreading all  over the Arab World.
So is it an Arab Spring, or just a Michael Casey rash?
If you gave a  rash go see the doctor.
Please tell all your friends that WordPress has a Translate button on the front page
SO you can all suffer all my stuff.
I noticed Uzbekistan is reading a Russian Translation of
The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker   so Thank You
I am NOT on Facebook, but IF you are you can
SHARE the Link to my stories on your Facebook
Let more people suffer what you are going through.
Happy Chinese New Year  to my Chinese Family in Shanghai
and all our Chinese friends everywhere, a lot of them are PhDs
and hello to Andrew Chan he is a  Professor in Australia now.
Happy Chinese New Year to  the company in China who owes me
a new coat, no doubt it is in the post, or I hope so.
I write for Everybody, one  day I may even earn a few pennies
but I’ll probably be dead first.
And finally thank you to my Official Reader the nice lady and Rosie the dog.
I hope she has a nice day out in Dudley, I met her on the hill today.
And don’t forget to say your prayers at night, and pray for my health.
Peace  be with All of Us.
Michael Casey
the  fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

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Why Teenagers make you Old

Why Teenagers make you Old ©

By

Michael Casey

I was going to write “Why do Liars Lie” as I reading about several in today’s Press, or why do Politicians Hang On. Perhaps I’ll come back to that later on, however on a visit to the kitchen I spotted something that made me change today’s conversation. A boiling pan of something, unattended while the girls are up in their eyrie. The girls are good cooks but if you want to mess the new cooker or even set fire to the house then just walk away and play on your phone doing vacuous stuff while Rome or Home gently burns.

One daughter did get 3 Bs at mock A level, we await the final result maths, so I’m happy for her and little sister to have a break from the books, but not from common sense. At least all our smoke alarms do work, as other unattended stuff brought them into action. The burglar alarms thankfully have not been tested, and the cat will be swung claws out as first defence before I use my 18stones or 120 kilos of

Psychotic Judo Black Belt to defend my family.

But back to the story. Why do teenagers make you old? WHAT? WHAT? And WHAT? Being the most heard refrain, along with I’m busy. Which is code for they are Whats Apping whatever that is, or I’m tired, I was at school all day. What were you doing? In my case I reply “screaming in pain” and it wasn’t kinky sex with Lindy Loo from the Korean takeaway. I was all alone, just me and my Movelat or my Paracetamol. I bet you wish it was Lindy Loo, I’m telling mum, when she finishes her 16 hour day.

And on it goes. Why is your coat here? I’ll put it on the the coat stand later. An hour later your remind them. Later is the reply. Two hours later you remind them. Later is the reply. An hour later you ask again. Later is the reply. They can hear the sound of a bucket of water being filled. What’s that for they ask looking up from their phones. Its for later you reply. An hour later you ask can their raincoats away. Later is the reply. You may need to put your raincoats on. Later, why put them on, they are half interested now. Because, as you fetch the bucket of water. As you come towards them they shift from their prone position, you stumble and empty the contents of the bucket all over them. They scream, expecting wet cold water. It’s a bucket of toy frogs, though a 2^nd bucket of water is still waiting in the kitchen.

Finally the teenagers but their coats away, by now they are hungry so they head for the kitchen where they bump into the bucket and spill gallons of water all over the kitchen floor. So you reclaim the sofa and tell them to wash the kitchen floor, then you’ll feed them. Half an hour later the floor is cleaned, as they moan about slave labour. Then you get them to set the table, you nonchalantly open the oven.

Dinner is ready, so while you were busy at school I was busy making this. In actual fact you are lying, Lindy Loo the Korean takeaway girl made it and said switch the oven on. She is mum’s best friend, and she keeps an eye on you. The meal is great, she likes cooking English food as relaxation from takeaway work. Now you have to persuade the  teenagers to do the washing up, so all is done and tidy by the time the wife gets back.

We’re busy, we have homework, what have you been doing for hours? So you use the ultimate weapon. SWITCH OFF THE WIFI. This is like the Titanic hitting an iceberg. Panic ensues, but at least the washing up is all done, to match the shiny kitchen floor. Then they say they are reporting you to the Police for switching off the wifi. With that they disappear to their eyrie, they want to get As after all come the summer.

So you settle down and fall asleep on the sofa, the wife finally arrives, she is about to say you are so lazy, but spots the spotless kitchen floor and the clean dishes all stacked up. Everything is perfect, you smile in your sleep, you are thinking of Lindy Loo…

the unkempt writer last photo from old house

https://www.amazon.co.uk/l/B00571G0YC