The Sweet Smell of Perfumed Feet ©
By Michael Casey
The Caseys have a
long tradition of smelly feet, my dad worked in a steel works for 40 years so
he had a good excuse. After a 10, 12 or even 16 hour shift mum would pull his
socks off with the tongs she used to do the washing with in the old fashioned
twin tub washing machine. It was a miracle for her when she allowed dad to get
her an automatic washing machine after decades of the twin tub and using a
mangle.
The heat in the steel works practically glues dad’s socks to
his feet, hence mum using the wooden tongs, almost like joined chop sticks. Was
that a pointer to my future but we never knew?
Dad would wash his feet in the bowl in the living room, before stating
it was so good to have clean feet. Mum was not Veronica in the Bible, but close
enough, close enough indeed. Afterwards the bowl of water was thrown away, and
the bowl rinsed, it was later used to do the washing up of the dishes after we
had dinner, yes the same bowl. Sometime a little Jeyes Fluid was used to clean
dad’s feet, which is used normally to clean drains.
As for me we went on a school field trip to Romsley when I
was 12, it lasted a week and was intended to teach townies about the
Countryside, obviously with my family background I did have some knowledge already. So we went
to a pond to catch tadpoles in a little net attached to a bamboo pole, again
was this Fate pointing to my future? I dived forward tin the pond and my
wellingtons filled with water, so I had to take them off and empty the water
from them.
Then like Winnie the Pooh following Christopher Robin we
followed our teacher around all day. Then we returned to the coach that would
take us back to Bellbroughton where we stayed all week, if I’m wrong I’m sure Big D or rather Big D PhD will remember and
email me. On the coach my socks had slipped down so I had to remove the
wellington to readjust my sock. As the stench from my feet spread from my feet there was mass panic in the ranks and
people forced their heads out of the coach windows. So as you can imagine I am
well remembered because of that episode.
Moving on a generation, my own daughter, the Doctor in
waiting has smelly feet, very smelly feet. My Ck1 which lasts me a year ran out
last night, so I started another bottle. When you have your own girls they will
encourage you both to shave and to splash a little something on your face. I
also have an old bottle of Jean Paul Gautier, you know the one with the man’s
torso bottle design, the blue bottle. Anyway today I decided we’d have a smell
test.
The girls were sat there laughing and joking after they had
had Bird’s Eye Fish Fingers, which is a
treat of you live on Chinese food cooked by Shanghai mum, it’s the opposite to
full English people if you like. So I got my bottles of smelly stuff out and
put it on the table. Ck1, Jean Paul Gautier and I’d refilled the empty Ck1
bottle with water. So we would do a smell test.
To do it properly you have to have testers so you can wand
the scent under your nose, you know little pieces of paper to spray the scent
on. As we didn’t have any I improvised by tearing up the Birds Eye Fish Fingers
packaging card from the box and sprayed
three samples on to 3 pieces of paper. Ck1 water, Ck1 new bottle and the Jean
Paul Gautier. Then we smelt them in turn and the girls gave their verdict.
They liked the Ck1 best, it is a bisexual, or rather I
should say suited for both male and female, unisex is the correct word, I just
had to ask my Doctor in waiting.
You can see how by strangling language I get
some of my comedy, directly and indirectly. My daughters don’t really like the
JPG so I won’t buy any more in future not unless the man himself reads this and
would like to send me a 200ml bottle of his other creations. In return I’ll
send him my 10 books and a photo of me, via email. I do have some French
readers but who they are I do not know, not unless it’s Bardot.
My small daughter could not resist the temptation so she
sprayed Ck1 all over my big daughter’s feet. Totoro passed by and sniffed them
before dashing upstairs to hide under the beds, so what that meant I do not
know. What I do know though is that a bit of smelly stuff on your face after
you shave is nice, so Ck1 is the one for me, or anything if it’s free.
enjoy the photos too
