Building the Crew (c) by Michael Casey

16/06/2026 ~ michaelgcasey ~ Edit

Building the crew, so WHEN my Esol English school for CHOBOL Japanese starts

I need a crew, I have spotted a Turkish lady who has Duty manager experience

Another great lady said she wanted to enjoy her retirement

So i was talking to another lady, who has done a bit of contract praying for me

i’ll explain it lady

Now I ran it past her today

She would be a Mrs Mop or Mrs Slowcome , we will think up and outrageous name later

She can be called whatever she likes

SO while the Guests who may arrive in Private Jets

are having their 2 sets of lessons

10 to 12. TWO HOURS LUNCH 2 to 4pm other lessons

Mrs DoDar or whatever she decides will hover and read the newspaper

anything she likes, kind of, but its a TRAP

so when the Japanese goes for a wander or a breath of fresh air

Mrs Thingy will proffer a cuppa

and he’l not understand fully cos he’s only just started the 2 week course

Mrs Potty will say, yes English can be a bit of a bitch

so as Japanese Chobol looks up, she whips out her tablet

she has all the LESSONS, my words, my VOICE on a tablet and JAPANESE Translations

With of course a English to Japenese voice translation

YES

Mrs Bucket has it ALL

I told you cleaners know EVERYTHING

through she is REALLY a secret teacher, under the cover of whatever she decides to wear

WE will of course have a nice badge probably of ME and HER together

TO prove she is one of the crew

other crew have me and them on a badge.

If the face does not fit

A 6th Dan Black belt will change your life, not in a positive way

or at least double black belt, we do have standards

for it it O O. I’m so. so , so so is not good enough

Just make sure to ask, can the stranger can swim

as he is far flung, into the water

He’s fallen in the WATER, as any Goon might. say

but my security crew are far from Goons

If you take the Spike Milligan with them

you will be in the Q or a lineup at a police station

PDQ

so that’s an overview

and of course in the pub for 2 hours dinner

Honours STATS MR

from my old computer room days

but if the guests want to wander then that’s OK

Mrs DoDAR may say come with me to the shops to practice

She has her tablets,2 in fact, she always has a spare

Like her husband from Special Services or Navy Seals

always have a spare

but he doesn’t talk about it and even the Judo crew

have decided to mind their own business

Now my next door neighbour plays golf

So at weekends MR PINK

will dress in Total Pink

shoes, socks, trousers, shirt, hat ,tie and underpants and jumper if its cold

MR PINK, to make the girls stink

he will be our Golf Pro, who has agreed to 1000 a day for his trouble

If they want to tip him his golf bag will accept rolled up bundles of 20 pound notes

so everything is catered for

MR PINK will become a LEGEND

he of course will have a Tablet with all the lessons on

My audio, my words, Japanese translation, and AUTOmatic translator

so he can talk dimpled balls to his hearts content and they will LOVE HIM

MR PINK , so they can spot him from 200 yards

NEON probably, he will of course get the most expensive shades on the planet

you remember when Tom Cruise was in Birmingham and had his luggage stolen

well I kind of acquired the shades then

BUT that will never happen at our Guest houses, because we will never tell you

where they are, and would anybody in their right mind break in where

multiple black belts in Armani are just being cool

if Armani is too tight for Judo throws the Sensai will instruct me

and obviously with total respect and a bow I’ll but an order in

we are a Professional Esol English school for Japanese

So you get the picture

We issue a friendship tag to each guest, so we can Protect and Serve

and if they go walkabout

The Birmingham Brotherhood of Security and their equally secure little blonde sisters

will have a 1000 bounty paid in cash to find and protect any of our lost sheep

400 pairs of eyes on the streets at least

This is Birmingham we love our guests

NOW if for any reason on of our guests is naughty we will bounce his backside out

so if he upsets mrs gobby tea, his feet wont touch

and no refunds

I SHOULD COCOA

he will be hurled on a flight to Paris, even if his private jet is still in Birmingham

But we are kind even if he has crossed the line

The cover story we will flash to his company which owns

a Trillion dollar company

we will say the OLD GOAT was chasing Monique who he met in a bar Edgbaston

SO we have kicked him out, but he has NOT LOST FACE

The next week he sends a grovelling apology apology letter

and a gift for Mrs teapot

A Kimono , not a Zara 20 quid one

but a 2000 pound limited edition thing his wife made him buy

So alls well that ends well

and he wrote a glowing 10 star review

This is the standard WE will set

yes it’s my words , my audio, my idea the whole concept

but PEOPLE COUNT

and we don’t have any bad COUNT on our crew

we look after our guests who become friends

So much so it became a tradition lost in Translation

for every guest to give her one, by which I mean a Kimino

because we decided it would make the kitchen more homely

for her wearing the Kimono with a thank you for the Experience

note from the owner of a trillion dollar company

and Nobody wants to lose face, so to keep up with the Joneses

ALL the CHOBOL are duty and honor bound to give her one

Mrs Slowcome has so many Kimono now

Her wardrobe is worth 3 times more than her house

So Guests, honoured Japanese guests please come

and I will personally introduce you to EVA

her real name, her middle name

her real name is top secret and only by giving her

the ultimate honour of the best Kimono she

might be persuaded to let you have tea and crumpet with her

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Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 15th Sept 2024 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 3,000,000 Words worth over 36years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 102 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 56 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 56 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 35 years ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 5000 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 167 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 167 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20+ years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 5 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down or not at all, a merry go around of noise That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. Fresh Fields, i decided was a better title, when the USA election is over I'll launch it 96,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. my 2 daughters are at University now, so if you finally pay me, I can pass it on to them And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me, it is the worse thing in my life ever, and I've had far to many horrible things. That's why I go the other direction and write comedy Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm View all posts by michaelgcasey

Tuesday, 16 June 2026