Cup of tea Diner

 

Cup of tea Diner ©

By Michael Casey

Now as you may remember Grannie Smith  saved a Seal, no she wasn’t a conservationist like Sir David Attenborough, the military kind of seal. So when she announced she was taking a trip to see Oklahoma in Oklahoma, Howard Keel was such a great singer in the film, a couple of  real Seals said they’d tag along to make sure she’d be safe. She was very old by now. Grannie Smith was proud so they went along with her, but not by her side, just a knife throw away, she was still an independent lady.

 

Grannie Smith still enjoyed English tea, so she was pleased when she saw it advertised as a novelty in the Diner. So she climbed the steps gingerly and sat ready for her tea. Now obviously MayLi in the dinner got a kick out of serving English tea to an English lady, and yes as Grannie Smith grew even older she looked more and more like the Queen of England. MayLi looked on as Grannie Smith tasted her brew, but it wasn’t quiet right. Don’t worry we can fix it said Grannie Smith, so she went behind the counter and warmed the pot, and do what she did herself instinctively.

 

MayLi recorded everything on her iPhone, she didn’t want to miss a trick. And then the two of them sat down and had tea. Two Seal shadows stepped forward and shared the pot, pot of tea that is, nothing naughty. And it was perfect. Now MayLi put this on her social media, TicToc, Weibo and even Facebook. The next day there was a crowd 100 strong. You see in Oklahoma, it always is a beautiful morning, and to have the Queen of England too, it really was their cup of tea.

 

Grannie Smith went to the theatre to see Oklahoma in Oklahoma, and when she arrived the crowd hushed, the Queen of England was there to see the show. Afterwards she went to the diner, MayLi was speaking excitedly, one of the Seals had so much  sex appeal, and she was still single and so was he. She had read it all in the tea leaves, something big was gonna happen. And the Seal was big, very big. Only she had read the leaves wrong. A developer had sent her a notice, he was going to build a  sky scraper and the diner was in the way, that was the big thing, not  the Seal.

 

So MayLi cried into her leaves, Grannie Smith said don’t worry, it’s an ill wind that blows no good, and then one of the Seals farted. So they all laughed. They opened the door to let the breeze in, and who show breeze in through the door. Only 2 Englishmen not in New York, but in Oklahoma, they had seen the sign and wanted a cuppa. They sat  and had tea, why the glum faces. MayLi  showed the notice, it had a picture on it of the new building planned. The two Englishmen laughed and threw back their heads, at this point the Seals moved forward fast, they knew who they were. Were they English assassins after Grannie Smith. No they knew them, you see the Englishmen were Bona Architects from Pinner, Julian and Sandy. And in fact they had saved those two Seal’s lives.

 

They hadn’t recognised them for a moment but blow me timbers, Julian and Sandy were also mountain climbers,  they had met up the Eiger, they had all saved each other as they were climbing up the mountain. Anything Clint Eastwood can do, we can do better.  So in a moment old friends were so happy, only MayLi was not. Grannie Smith looked on, Julian and Sandy looked at the picture. You know we could knock up a building quick, and it would look so much better, and you know Jules, if we did it our way the diner could stay.

 

So borrowing MayLi’s lipstick, Julian and Sandy drew a picture of what they could build and better, and  the diner would stay. Again MayLi filmed it, Grannie Smith spoke directly to the iPhone, it was like the real Queen’s Christmas broadcast. And here is Julian and Sandy’s counter proposal, literally drawn in lipstick, in war paint on the counter. And when Julian and Sandy spoke in such posh posh English how could the developer refuse. And yes it was a question not of Three coins in a Fountain, but  Three Queens in a diner, with Seals applauding. Bona Architects from Pinner were Gay, and they could climb any mountain, you go ask the Seals if you don’t believe.

 

This design was again put online, it was a hit, a very big hit, Julian said to Sandy, it’s huge, very huge, you just look at the ratings. And what exactly was the design. It was a feather, like a Red Indian’s feather, with the diner at the base, in fact there would be 4 diners, so MayLi would have to expand, but she had her eyes on a Seal, so expand away she would. As for the construction workers,  well they are Red Indians anyway, so  they’d all flock, flock a lot, to come and build a feather.

 

Now it takes a while for drafts, ask any soldier, to be ready so Julian and Sandy drafted away. And protective glass was placed around the diner,  as for Jules and Sandy they had new jumpers knitted. The jumpers they wore when they went  climbing,  but also the design  of the building was woven on the front, on the back 1 for Julian and 2 for Sandy. This is my building, was on display, and 1 and 2 because it takes two to tango.

 

Once the steelwork was to begin, Julian and Sandy joined the Indians, they were mountain climbers after all, the Red Indians had misgivings. But when Julian and Sandy were way up high they danced and pranced like ballet dancers, with1 and 2 on their backs. The Red Indians were impressed, they may be English but the way they worked the iron, was so impressive. They did iron all their own clothes too, but that’s another matter. All this Joy, all this Sorrow, John Denver sung at 300 feet, the Red Indians did like a bit of music while they worked. But as the words All this Sorrow rung out, a Red Indian fell, and he would not have seen tomorrow. But Julian dived and grabbed him by the ankle, and Sandy dived too getting the other ankle.  Their reactions were like lightning, just as they were on the Eiger, nobody dies, nobody dies. Besides as Julian said to Sandy afterwards when the excitement was over. I have special surprize for our Red Indians. You see he had Indian curry from a curry house owned by a stray Birmingham England man bused in from 40 miles away. Vindaloo will do, and pork scratchings, and a barrel of Banks bitter.

 

The Red Indians loved the Vindaloo, and MayLi gave them tea too. As for the curry house 40 miles away, he was swamped with Red Indians, Red Indians eating Indian too. When the building was finished Granny Smith opened it, along with the 3 new replica diners, all the way from China. Julia  looked at Sandy and Sandy looked at Julian, they were wearing matching jumpers with the design on. Let’s lose our virginity, the Oklahoma crowd was confused. Then the pair of Bona Architects from Pinner sprinted towards the building, they were going to free climb it, why because it was there as any mountain climber will tell you.

 

Normally when they get to the top, well they, well they, but this was Oklahoma not Pinner, so waiting Seals strapped parachutes to them.  Then they jumped and Julian and Sandy landed on the diner, they needed a cuppa after all their efforts, they are English after all.