Fancy Food

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Fancy Food ©

By

Michael Casey

Well I said I’d write about fancy food, so here I am, though I try and make you hear my words not just read them. I’ve been having a rest for a few days, now I’m back with another story. You see my big daughter is doing her first set of exams in her life, the ones you have at age 16, then you can legally leave school. Though in her case she’ll do 2 years of A levels, advance level schooling.

Then she’ll try and get into Cambridge, where one of her uncles went, the other went to Oxford. Yes really, I’m the stupid writer brother in the family. My daughter hopes to study Medicine, so that would be 6 years if she can get into Cambridge. So it’ll be 8 more years at least of study, before becoming a doctor. I told her to tell the interview panel that her Irish grandfather was a blacksmith. My brother says he got into Downing Cambridge because of inverse snobbery. He was a coal miner for a year before he applied for Cambridge. Though having four straight As at A level does help too.

Yes I do love to name drop, me and Andrew from the Daily Mail do have that in common, nothing else other than that. So now that I‘ve done the prologue as Frankie Howerd used to then I’ll begin. My daughter wants to be pampered by food as she studies hard, and she is studying as hard as I can remember my other brother studied 50 years ago to get into Queens Oxford. He used to lock himself into the front room to study with a reel to reel tape recorder with a tape of Cream blaring out of a speaker. I still have that speaker by the way its in a corner of the living room behind me.

So I’ve being experimenting with Coop and fancy food, their food is more expensive but always nice, same goes for Sainsburys. So I’ve changed my shopping habits to please her and to encourage her with her studies. So what makes foods immediately better. Bread. Bread is the answer, French baguettes and a different brand of brown bread is always nice. Though my small daughter does hanker after Warburtons white sliced loaf.

Butter, spreads, margarine they too can alter and lift humble bread up. If you are a rice person, as is my Shanghai wife she’ll know at 100 paces the difference between this rice and that rice and all 50 shades or rice, grey does not have the monopoly on shades after all, now its up to you to consider have I thrown in a metaphor there, or am I just messing with you.

Simple additions of this and that can expand your taste buds. Cheese on toast is just boring cheese on toast, no it is not. It depends on whether or not you toast one side or both. If you have a bit of ham or chorizo or Polish ham lying about, then you can add it to the bread and have the cheese on toast with that as an an addition under the cheese. So the cheese melts into the bread and the topping. Then as you eat it the juices melt and the best fun is licking the juices off from your fingers as you wash it down with an ice cold can of Stella Artois or anything cold you like.

Ok not very fancy food, but its nice, add to the mix the loads of different cheeses there are then you are in heaven.The angels go to the very gates of Hell to melt the cheese on their toast before fluttering home to Heaven to wash it down with wine. There is always wine in Heaven, what was the very 1^st miracle after all?

Eggs are always nice, and even if you cannot cook you can put 2 or 3 eggs in a bowl in the microwave and hey presto you have scrambled egg. Just still every 30 seconds or so, while the microwave is on for 3 minutes you toast some beard or split a baguette. The eggs the top the bread, Polish eggs are great so gloriously yellow inside, or free range eggs if you can afford them.

You can add pickles to the scrambled eggs to give it bite, or any combination of meat. Food is a jigsaw puzzle, so please yourself how you put it together. If it tastes nice to you, then you have put the puzzle together correctly.

Different brands of supermarket fish fingers have different tastes, some are dire and you should feed them to the cat while you eat the cardboard packaging, yes really. Ditto if you eat salmon for the Omega 3, some supermarkets have very nice salmon which is good for you, remember post quadruple heart bypass I read all the labels now and check the traffic lights on packaging. Other brands are so bad you would not even give them to the cat, nor eat the plastic packaging yourself.

Cereals are good for you, Sex and the City for example, but the eating kind are good because they help you pooh on time in your very busy life. Though if you have Ckd then you and your bathroom are very close friends already, no need of cereals. Try different brands and see what you like. The copy ones can taste almost as good as the real thing. Cheerios are very nice, but twice the price of the copy called Hoops. A copy bran cereal is great too, but never as good as the real thing, though it can be 1/2 the price.

I used to work shifts all my life, including 14 years of night shifts, so throwing a package meal into the oven was my way of life when I came home. Sadly I’m told that all the MSG in them may have helped clog my arteries and lead to my unplanned quadruple heart bypass. I never used to eat vegetables either, meat, milk, bread was my stable along with the packaged froze meals which I always oven baked. I never used any oil to cook so I thought I was ok. My Pharmacist said I should write about this so here is a paragraph on it.

Perhaps I should have called this Simple Food instead of Fancy Food, in the end though whatever makes you happy is best. Obviously fruit and vegetables are a good idea. Though I never smoked in my life, just ink and printer dust from my computer rooms. And growing up with alcoholic lodgers means that I am practically a none drinker, 24 pints a years maybe. Fizzy pop has always been more interesting to me.

Yes, do try different things, variety is the spice of life after all. I can remember having French toast for the first time ever when I was in Boston USA in 1980. We are reintroducing our family to it now, as well as the rice with everything that you have in a Birmingham to Shanghai family. If you have 2eggs you can turn all your leftovers in the fridge into an omelet, add a slice of whatever that is in the back of the fridge, basically everything goes in the wok.

The clock is about to strike midnight so I need to go to bed so that I can wake my daughter up for her last 4 exams, Pure Maths and Physics. If she oversleeps I can always give her a bowl of cereal and some fruit to fire her up for the last lap of exams as she dashes up the road to school and exams.

And how will she celebrate when the exams finish? I’ll probably take her to Subway, let somebody else be the chef for a change.