Thursday, 8 September 2016

Distractions



Distractions ©
By Michael Casey

Well I’m trying to get back into the groove now, I was distracted by my Arthur, who is such a naughty little boy, he’s my Arthritis. My scar pain joined in just for fun as well as the chest pain. So avoid having an unplanned quadruple heart bypass, and stay as healthy as you can. I never smoked in my life, but I did always eat frozen food after coming in late from my shift work. I had years of printer dust though, so perhaps that was partly to blame too, not forgetting genetics. My dad had the heart and mum had the Arthur, arthritis.

Now I’ll stop talking about that as I want to talk about distractions, you could say I was distracted from talking about distractions, by my greatest distraction, pain. Now when we want to do something we sometimes get distracted by something else, such as our toddler pushing the cat away and eating the cat food. My sister did actually do that when she was a toddler, the cat, Jean was her name, was very angry that a small Casey was stealing her food. And yes 50 years on we still tease her about it, Jean lasted till she was 20 before all her 9 lives expired.

If we have to do a bit of work at home, we’ll watch a bit of telly first, or read a bit of that book we haven’t finished in 18 months. Anything to distract us from opening the work’s laptop and looking at that spreadsheet. Or we’ll have a snack of something, even though we are not hungry, we’ll even look at our watch to see if the local shop will still be open. Finally but finally we’ll click on to do the work, but we cannot remember the password.

So much hacking going on your company rotates passwords every 2 months, which means you keep on forgetting them. You scream in desperation oh God what is the *&^%%$$ password, and yes “£$%^(&  IS the password. Which is a curse in language of the head of security from Ukraine, nobody but nobody will ever break it, not unless they are Ukrainian hackers. But his mother  was Swedish, so it’s a mix of both languages, so nobody will guess the passwords.

Other things distract us such as the girl across the street who never closes her curtains, as a child we had Christine who used to undress at the bottom of our garden. We’d look up to see her down to her bra and panties and then she got shy and turned the light out. We would scream Christine and she’s wave back, her blonde hair bouncing, then she was gone. That was all the sex education you got in the 1960s, apart from behind the bike sheds.

But I was going to talk about distractions, what purpose do they serve? They serve to take our minds off serious matters, if you can distract you mind from serious stuff, such as planning a wedding, or a house move, or the best 6 numbers to have for the lottery, then your BP goes down and you are rested. If all you can do is think of a Court Case or your planning application to extend your chip shop, or even what you’ll say to that girl to get her to go out with you, or lay down with you, whatever it is.

Then your mind swells up and swells like a pudding in a pot, your brain simmers too much. So a distraction, takes your mind off serious stuff and  calm returns. Or a bit of loving as only Barry White can do takes the pain away when pain killers are not strong enough, but Dora from  number 94 does the trick, or is Dora just a metaphor?

I hope I’ve distracted you enough for tonight, I have to go and help hang out the washing now, household chores are always there, no matter what distractions there are in life, there’s always a nagging wife, hang the washing out, or there’s no dinner tonight.






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