Who’s Been Reading My Stuff?©
By Michael Casey
Well tomorrow 8th June 2016 marks the end of my stuff being
in the Daily Telegraph, it’s not as if I’m invited to write and paid as much as
Boris, though my silver hair is far nicer than his, I use Aldi Tea Tree
shampoo, perhaps he should. No, I write in the my telegraph area, which will disappear overnight just as
spilt beer does, and pee on the bathroom floor, I’m sure the cat does it. So
it’s the end of an era, though I do write in two other places so I can still be
found.
So after I write I check back to see if I have any
visitors, and google even tells me where they are located. Today it was
Australia and 13 from Isle of Man, so it got me wondering who could it possibly
be? Who is it, could it be one of the Bee Gees? So I checked for famous people
who live on the Isle of Man and up popped one of the Bee Gees, the last living
one that is. So I must have a Bee Gee fan, singing staying alive as he reads my
stuff. Yes Really. Ok, that’s a big
stretch, but you never know, you never know.
Then I discovered that Jeremy Clarkson lived on Isle of
Man, that’s a big stretch, or rather he is a big stretch just how does he fit
into the cars, I’m sure they take the bottom of the seats out so he can fit in,
or even saw a hole out the bottom, so his bottom scrapes on the road beneath
the car. That would explain his facial expressions, and he’s always droning on
about ride and suspension, wouldn’t you if your bum burnt more rubber than the
tires. Or do they coat his undercarriage with something to lesson fiction as he
test drives the cars, maybe a kind of KY gel for motorists, or motoring
journalists?
Then I thought it must be something to do with cats, as I
have put Totoro our family cat in some of my pieces, maybe it’s a cat lover, in
search of a tail or is it tale? I won’t say the obvious but you are all
thinking it. Go to confession immediately. Then I thought it could be Fr.
George whom I mentioned at the end of Face Values my previous post, I spotted
that there are Catholics on the Isle of Man, part of Liverpool diocese, so Fr.
George could stumbled over me.
Ukraine popped up too, so obviously it must be the
billionaire candy man reading my stuff, he just adores my stories. Really
though it’s either hackers or porn sites stumbling over me, Ukraine is full of
them. Though with my luck it’s probably Putin people thinking I’m Leslie
Nielsen and wanting my autograph. For my birthday at Pinsent Masons in the
print room, large posters of him were placed on the windows, but they were 6
weeks out.
Then Portugal seem to like reading my stuff so it must be
retired football managers and retired
rich people gazing at my photo, and even reading a few words. I put a photo
with each piece of writing to identify me as he writer and sole copyright
holder. My writing still gets lifted so I remove it after a couple of weeks and
add new material, but still the Far East borrows my stuff.
So as you see the whole world reads my stuff, I just wish
they went to Amazon and bought a few ebooks on any of the Amazon national
sites, here’s just one.
So my imagination soars, hope springs eternal and so on, I
even had Malaysia looking recently, anybody in Antarctica or the Space Station
not busy with science they can always pass by. I did of course have the Man on
the Moon look at my stuff, he even left a comment. Literary agents are even rarer than Clangers,
just whistle and they never ever come.
No comments:
Post a Comment