Michael Model Casey

Michael Model Casey ©

By Michael Casey

If you saw the piece in the DT and probably other agencies, then you'll be as outraged as me, giving HIM a modeling contract BEFORE me. I'm so angry I think I'll call David Walliams and we'll go camping together, just to let off steam, and it would be steam in my case as I do sweat a lot. David Walliams would just do a cross channel swim to cool off, he's done that before you know, he never gets cross, just goes for a swim. Its Saint Patrick's Day today and me having Irish blood and THEY gave this tall bearded guy a chance before me.

I could do a jig I'm so livid, I could even dance in the street, and I've even done that before at Puck Fair in Killorglin, I said Puck Fair, you lot should have your ears cleaned. It said the new model, whatever his name is, has a 42inch waist, that's practically anorexic, if you really want a BIG man with a great derriere then they should give ME, the modeling position. I was almost in Zoolander2 you know, but I won't COMPLAIN about the inadequacies of the casting director, MORON.

So here I am a son of a son of Kerry, a blacksmith's son no less, and what do they do on Saint Patrick's Day of all days, they give an anorexic beaver a modeling contract instead of me. If I wasn't waiting for a delivery of Whiskas Cat food from Ocado, for our pussy Totoro I'd head for the pub to drown my sorrows. You can get a pint of extra sugar Ribena and a packet of crisps for 99p at our  local, please visit our church or it'll close down church cafe, so obviously I go there for their Jamie Oliver Special, as they call it, a 3000 calorie sandwich with extra sprinkled sugar on it.

I'm fit to cry, or fit for nothing, but I can complain to the world and the internet, why oh why didn't they choose me to be the new sexy male model. Have to go now, I can hear splashing, its David Walliams he's just swum the English Channel again, still wearing his flip flops. Oh I've forgot I've attached my File Photo.