Fat People Don't Get Fat

Fat People Don’t Get Fat ©

By Michael Casey

My daughters were out with their aunty and they visited their uncle 10miles away and even saw their honorary extra grandpa, so all in all they saw 3 strands of the family, no 4  I forgot they met their cousin too. When they got home I asked them how everybody was and how did they look. Its sometimes like getting blood from a stone trying to get young kids to explain what happened. So when my daughter said they had changed I said I wouldn’t change because “fat people don’t get fat”, what I meant to say was that as I was fat I wouldn’t show any wrinkles. But it got me thinking.

“I’m not fat I have big bones.” “I don’t eat much, it just goes straight to my bum or my boobs.”  “My thighs are a law unto themselves.” As for me what do I say? “17.5 stones or 112kilos is just right for me, but I do look 40pounds or 20kilos lighter than I am, I’m tight fat not wobbly fat.”

A fat aunt is always a good thing, a friendly thing, we had one when we grew up she was the kindest and funniest women you’d meet in your life. She could do anything and best of all she knew how to feed you. One Christmas back in 1977 I put on a stone in 2 weeks, I’d visit 3 families every day and get fed every time.  I have 40 first cousins. Their kindness cannot be exaggerated, so I’ll blame them for making me fat, mind you everybody always blames everybody else, instead of looking in the mirror and accepting responsibility.

Walking is great exercise and I did 2 five mile walks last week alone, and if I go to the shops often I can pile on the miles, the pity is I can buy food and pile on the pounds too. BMI or Body Mass Index tells us just how bad our height to weight ratio is, though I take it with a pinch of salt say I’m 5’10 I should have X BMI, but I have a chest size of 46, so does somebody with a chest of 38 have the same BMI if everything else is equal. A friend who is medically qualified told me the BMI is a bit disgraced nowadays, and life insurance companies also are more flexible over BMI too.

But what about fat people being happy?I’m happy enough, I do try and write humorous pieces most of the time, and I don’t really care if I’m not perfect, my 3 girls are perfect so that’s enough in the family. Their secret is rice, they are the Chinese half of the family, me I eat from the fat side of the fridge. Fat people enjoy their food, food is a pleasure, its not like filling up the car with petrol, it’s a joy, its sharing, its family. So should I end by saying thin people are boring, I once worked with a girl who had a yeast tablet as the main part of her dinner at work, she was pretty, but she would have been stunning if she had a bit of fat on her. And yes in today’s world she would be called anorexic, a word that’ll never be used to describe me.