Wednesday, 9 October 2024

Paul Simon article from the Newspaper

Paul Simon article from the Newspaper

‘I never said I was going to retire …’ Paul Simon on disability, drive and the mystery behind his greatest songs

Story by Dave Simpson

 • 5d • 10 min read

Paul Simon: ‘I’m relearning how to write songs.’ Photograph: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

Paul Simon: ‘I’m relearning how to write songs.’ Photograph: Samir Hussein/Getty Images© Photograph: Samir Hussein/Getty Images

As a struggling young singer-songwriter in 1960s Queens, New York, Paul Simon would often retreat to his parents’ bathroom. There, with the tiling giving the room an echo and the sound of running taps generating white noise, he’d sit strumming his guitar in the dark. This experience inspired The Sound of Silence – Simon and Garfunkel’s first US No 1 – and one of pop’s most memorable opening couplets: “Hello darkness my old friend / I’ve come to talk with you again.”People Born 1944-1973 Could Be Eligible For This

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“The Sound of Silence was the first song I wrote which seemed to come from some place that I didn’t inhabit,” says Simon, now 82, over the phone from the city where he penned it. “At age 23, it was unusual, well beyond my age and abilities. Then it happened again throughout my writing. Bridge Over Troubled Water was another song that came mysteriously. So did a lot of Graceland. I wrote Slip Slidin’ Away in 20 minutes – usually it takes me a couple of months to get a song. There are other examples, like Darling Lorraine, of songs that came from some place else … A mystery, you could call it.”

The Sound of Silence was the first song I wrote which seemed to come from some place that I didn’t inhabit

Such classic songs flow through In Restless Dreams: The Music of Paul Simon, Alex Gibney’s three and a half hour documentary film, which explores the singer-songwriter’s long career and the making of his latest album, last year’s Seven Psalms. Simon says he approached the 70-year-old fellow New Yorker and gave him full editorial control. “I admire his work. I thought he would give a pretty accurate description of me from his perspective – but I didn’t think his perspective would be askew.”Will A £200k Pension Pot Be Enough? Get A Free Guide.

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Gibney has made award-winning documentaries on subjects such as Scientology and Enron corruption as well as Frank Sinatra, James Brown and Fela Kuti, but relished the opportunity to work closely with the artist his film calls “the greatest songwriter in the history of American popular music”.

“I’ve loved his work for many years, but I’m always looking for ways of going deeper than a kind of filmic equivalent of a Wikipedia entry,” says Gibney. “We had access to him making Seven Psalms and that’s very much an album about belief and mortality, issues with which I’m reckoning myself. It seemed an opportunity to go deep into his creative process and look at how what comes into the unconscious can be shaped into considered works of art. To do that with an extraordinary talent such as Paul was just a gift.”

In 2018, five years before Seven Psalms, Simon toured for the last time and was reportedly retiring. “I never said I was going to retire,” he says now, with a gentle New York accent. “I said I was going to stop, which I did. I thought that with that band and the repertoire we were doing we’d developed it as far as we could. It was enjoyable, but I wanted to find out what happens when you stop.” He did some travelling with singer Edie Brickell, his wife of 32 years. “Then I had a dream, and everything changed back to a new version of reality.”Explore attractive offers on the Volvo XC40 mild hybrid

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On 15 January 2019, a voice in the dream told him: “You are working on a piece called Seven Psalms.” Over subsequent weeks and months, and as Covid closed the world down, he found himself waking in the early hours with lyrics that had come to him in dreams. As the album came together in Simon’s wooden cabin studio in Texas, Gibney was allowed unprecedented access, and filmed everything.

“Seven Psalms is an example of the whole [seven-part] piece coming to me in a unique way,” Simon says, after I mention that he’d actually sung about how “a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I was sleeping” as long ago as The Sound of Silence. “I think there’s a connection between who I was as a kid, and my subconscious, and who I am now. It was very interesting and really quite pleasurable for a long time – until my hearing loss threw me off.”

While recording, he suddenly lost most of the hearing in his left ear. Gibney finds it “extraordinarily courageous” that Simon didn’t halt filming and allowed him to present such a moment of vulnerability to the world.

“It was scary, frustrating,” Simon admits. “You’re in denial and then you’re overwhelmed by this change in your life because you now have a disability. But even though it wasn’t pleasurable any more, I started to think that this was some new information that I needed to absorb into the piece. I started to focus on sounds, not from computers or synthesisers, but acoustic instruments used in unusual ways.”

Another startling moment in In Restless Dreams is an extraordinary, minute-long monologue in which his friend and collaborator Wynton Marsalis – trumpet legend and the first jazz artist to win the Pulitzer prize – reveals the things they talk about, everything from “being divorced, having children” to “race relations in the United States, the direction the country is going in” to “Bach v Beethoven, Duke Ellington’s musical output in 1962, what does it take to write a song …” There’s another sequence where the pair passionately debate the merits of leaving mistakes in recorded music; Marsalis argues that making something too perfect loses the soul.

“He said that to me because I’d sang the whole Seven Psalms to him in a car as it was being made,” Simon says. “He’s like: ‘Man, this is soulful. You’ve gotta record it like this!’ And that’s true when you’re sitting in a car, but not when you’re listening to a recording. He’s right about not taking away the humanity, but if I sing a note flat will it be worse if I go back and sing it better? I always say: ‘The ear goes to the irritant.’ When I hear something I don’t like in a piece of music, I want to change it.” But, he says, “this idea that I’m a perfectionist is not correct”.

Simon, who was an English literature major and quit law school after one semester, had wanted to be a singer-songwriter since he was 13. He experienced the big bang of rock’n’roll in the 1950s, when teenagers suddenly had their own culture. “It’s impossible to convey how exhilarating it was,” he says, his voice quickening with glee. “Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis, Fats Domino, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Ray Charles, doo-wop groups from New York, Philly, Chicago, New Orleans. An enormous amount of musical information that came in a very few years exactly at the age when you are really open to it, absorbing and falling in love with it.”

In Restless Dreams tracks Simon’s beginnings from meeting Art Garfunkel in Parsons Junior High, harmonising together over Everly Brothers songs, having a minor 1957 hit as Tom & Jerry with Hey, Schoolgirl (which Simon wrote when he was 15), to his early 60s songwriting apprenticeship in New York’s Brill Building, working alongside Carole King. Gibney sees this period of “elbow grease, discipline and developing the craft” as crucial to Simon’s subsequent ability to translate the more mystical elements of his creativity into something catchy, tangible and universal.

Gibney says Simon talked affectionately about the periods he spent playing English folk clubs in 1964 and 1965, which he found most welcoming after struggling for bookings back home. The singer refers to those travels in Seven Psalms’ Trail of Volcanoes, written six decades later. “The two years I lived in England were amongst the happiest times of my life,” Simon says. “I wrote a couple of songs that became hits with Simon and Garfunkel [including Homeward Bound, believed to be inspired by Widnes station]. I learned how to do a set, perform, talk to an audience. I was 23, 24 and was living away from a home in a country that seemed magical to me. It was an extraordinary time – Carnaby Street, the Beatles and the Stones, the Who, mods and rockers and then the folk movement. Martin Carthy, Davey Graham, the Ian Campbell Folk Group, Ewan MacColl and Peggy Seeger. Then contemporaries like Bert Jansch, John Renbourn and later Sandy Denny and Jackson Frank. I met Kathy [Chitty, his first love, who inspired Kathy’s Song and many others]. It really was a beautiful time.”

Judith Piepe, a passionate folk champion/activist/broadcaster who’d fled Nazi Germany and would often put up folk singers, gave him a room in her east London flat and got him on the BBC’s TV daily religious show, Five to Ten. He performed The Sounds of Silence (as it was first titled), which had initially appeared on Simon and Garfunkel’s poorly selling 1964 US debut, Wednesday Morning, 3AM.

The two years I lived in England were amongst the happiest times of my life

Ears were pricking up, although Simon was still often performing in pub backrooms where, he has said, promoters would tell audiences: “Shut up! You’ve ’ad yer bingo! Now give the turn a go.” Meanwhile, in New York, producer Tom Wilson was overdubbing the electric guitars and drums that in January 1966 would take the retitled The Sound of Silence to the top of the US charts, a place they soon knew well.

Gibney’s problem was a dearth of UK footage. “Paul wasn’t famous then,” he explains. “People weren’t following him with cameras, so thank God for the precious photographs we found. Weirdly, we found some footage of Judith Piepe walking into a club, and if you look very closely she passes a poster for Paul Simon. Incredible. So we were trying to re-create a dreamlike version of that period he felt free, alive and open.”

Simon and Garfunkel’s 1970 breakup presented a different challenge: how to portray a split rooted in what Simon calls an “imbalance of power” between songwriter (Simon) and co-singer (Garfunkel), plus conflicts over the latter’s new film career. “I did talk to Art, but he wouldn’t agree to talk to me with microphones on,” Gibney explains. “Nevertheless, we dug deep into the archives to find some rather pointed remarks from Artie to give a balance. It was delicate and difficult but that was an instance where there was an amount of back and forth between me and Paul. He was willing to dig deeper and go further in terms of talking about it.” The documentary features Simon’s candid admission: “Maybe it was my Freudian trauma. My mother said to me once: ‘You have a good voice, but Arthur has a fine voice.’”

In Restless Dreams subsequently chases Simon’s solo musical adventures, to Jamaica (where he recorded 1972’s early white reggae hit Mother and Child Reunion with members of the Maytals), to Brazil for 1990’s The Rhythm of the Saints and most famously to apartheid-era South Africa, where – after hearing a bootleg tape of township music – he worked on 1986’s Grammy-winning, 16m-selling Graceland, amid allegations that he had broken the cultural boycott of the time.

“The boycott was intended to stop white, western musicians performing in apartheid South Africa and making money,” Gibney argues. “What Paul was doing was amplifying that music and letting the whole world hear its power. People suddenly started thinking: ‘This music is wonderful. Why is South Africa treating people who make it this way?’ And then the world changed.”

In Restless Dreams includes Michael Lindsay-Hogg’s incredible footage, much of it unseen, of a 1987 concert in Harare, Zimbabwe. Exiled South Africans Hugh Masekela and Miriam Makeba are in Simon’s all-African band and a racially integrated audience of Zimbabweans and visiting South Africans are filmed dancing joyously together, which would have been illegal across the border.

“When I look at the footage, it’s nostalgic and a little bit sad because almost everyone in the band is gone, including Hugh and Miriam,” sighs Simon. “That band was magical, and then being able to go back and perform in Johannesburg [in 1992] was extraordinary. You know, in Africa I met friends I never would have met who stayed friends my whole life. It was a privilege for me as a white American to participate in other cultures. I’d say that Zimbabwe concert, the two concerts I did in Central Park – with Artie [the 1981 reunion attended by half a million people], then on my own – and the concert in Hyde Park for the 25th anniversary of Graceland are the peaks of my performing career.”

Which hasn’t stopped yet. The hearing loss precludes playing with a full band, but he is finding ways to perform acoustically. Two weeks ago, he played seven songs with two guitarists at a fundraiser for the Stanford Initiative to Cure Hearing Loss, his longest performance in five years. “I’m hoping to eventually be able to do a full-length concert,” he says. “I’m optimistic. Six months ago I was pessimistic.”

He’s also written two new songs. “One of them, a duet with Edie, is different from anything I’ve written. I might just put it out into the ether, see where it goes.” He says he has no interest in developing the “extraordinary stadium spectaculars” of some of his contemporaries. “I’m interested in relearning how to write songs, like I did in England, and developing new acoustic sounds.

“Maybe I’m something of a lone wolf in that respect,” he chuckles. “But I’m kinda interested in the conclusion of where my thinking in music finally ends up.”

• In Restless Dreams is in UK cinemas on 13 October – Paul Simon’s 83rd birthday – and available digitally and on Blu-ray from 28 October

Music is God’s breath in my opinion, Michael Casey fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham

4996 Phone sex with Vlad

 Phone Sex with Vlad (c)

by Michael Casey


Say it to me just one more time

Olga the Translator purred down the phone to Trump

I think you are such a great president

The bestest President EVER

Hey Vlad I just love it when you talk dirty to me

Baby just one more time

The bestest President EVER repeats the Translator

She is 85 and was a former spy, and looks 1000 years old

BUT she can still purr

So Trump is easily satisfied

Sure Vlad I can send you some Masks

So the Chemical weapons don't get in your eyes

Ukraine are such terrible boys

He never shaves or wears a tie

That President Z is not a patch on you

There might be be a delay in the post

A lot of wind today in Florida

I should have taken my anti acid

Z is so ungrateful

All I've done for him

What does he need the Russian speaking part of his country for

Just purr for me again

I'll be President again soon

So we can share a room in Helsinki again

You lead I follow

Purr for me again

Baby give me the full 90 seconds again

AND ON IT GOES

TRUMP IS AN EMPEROR WITH NO CLOTHES

Donald where's your troosers

You can find the song on Utube

Trump is a moron, his 'bible" is printed in China

some school board clown wants to buy 3,000,000 dollars worth

so its in every classroom

The Bible is the  Bible and nothing else 

not something from the Top Shelf

But everything Trump touches is so  defiled

He has to stamp Trump on it, which devalues it

USA Flag with Trump on it

Need I say more

You all know the score

Vlad will send somebody to visit  Trump

and she can use the bathroom

where all the secrets are stored

Is this FINALLY the straw that breaks the camels back

You're never getting your OVERTIME back

So my finally message to you all

Is slam down the phone and don't give him

an inch more

He's given everything to Putin already

down the telephone line

and NO Trump cannot turn Water into Wine



Tuesday, 8 October 2024

life lessons

https://michaelcaseyfrombirminghamengland.blogspot.com/2024/03/life-lessons-from-7-years-ago-maybe.html


Saturday 30 March 2024

Life Lessons by Michael Casey something from 7 years ago maybe, I threatened to come and read it at my daughters school

Life Lessons ©
By 
Michael Casey

I was talking to my dad yesterday, yes I talk to my dad, doesn’t every 16 year old girl? He was telling me about his struggles, he doesn’t call them struggles as that would sound Pretentious and he despises Pretentiousness as much as We hate double Latin last thing on a Friday afternoon, after a hard week at school. My dad actually did have double Latin on a Friday afternoon when he was in 5th Year, he hates all this Year Whatsit stuff as well, if it’s so Modern then why does it suddenly become 6th Form after all the years of Struggle. But at least We don’t have double Latin on a Friday afternoon.

I said it would be inspirational if he went into schools gave a speech, dad just laughed and said only if the English teacher wore stockings and suspenders and a short skirt and was 25 years younger than him. Or was that the French teacher marrying the student, and then becoming the President. Or am I mixing something up that I half heard on the news, I never pay attention to the news, does any 16 year old girl? The bit about the stockings and suspenders is true though, as dad has such a booming voice you always hear him clearly. He showed me a picture of mum once and said that’s why you are here, but that’s another story so I’ll draw a veil over that.

Dad stopped picking his nose, but at least he doesn’t wipe it on the wall as my little sister over there used to do, when she was in Year8, sorry I mean when she was eight months to 88 months old. Anyway I said Life Lessons, so dad just raised his leg and farted, he said it was a family tradition as his dad my granddad used to do that. Then he asked how long, how many pages, how long if it was read out. I suggested 3 pages worth. He ignored me and went hunting for the remote control but I knew he might rattle something off in the morning. It’s his mental exercise, writing, 1,060,000 Words so far he told me, so that makes him very mentally exercised, with a brain as big as, Kim Kardasian’s ARSE.


He didn’t say any more, but he wants a change from Translating into Polish for his 21,700 in just 3 weeks Polish fan base. So I just crossed my fingers and hoped Dad would come up with something. Dad being dad was suspicious that I wanted him to write an essay I could memorise for my GCSEs. His ESol English students had tried to pull that trick years ago, they were only learning English as a foreign Language, so when they wrote something that was too good, it was obvious not all their own work.

But that I suppose is the 1st Life Lesson, don’t try and memorise the perfect essay and pass it off as your own, Like a Politician’s speech, as cut and paste or memory cut and paste STANDS OUT, and you will be caught. Your teacher knows you, so if it doesn’t seem to be like your work then it isn’t. Though I did think of getting my little sister to write an essay, when she’s not wiping snot on walls she really is a good writer, better than dad she always tells him. But he always tells her, that’s the  way he wants it to be, then he lifts his leg and farts, and sings Nobody Does it Better, from the James Bond film.

And that’s the 2nd life lesson, don’t cheek your dad, or he will turn the other cheek and fart, leaving you gasping for breath. The 2nd Life lesson is always have enough toilet paper in the bathroom, and when you finish wipe both sides of the seat and flush. If you finish a roll then replace it properly. Dad cleaned bathrooms in a 4 star deluxe hotel, CPNEC Birmingham, when he wasn’t talking to millionaires in the foyer. So a fully ready toilet is always a must.

Things will go wrong, and in dad’s life they did. In everybody’s life they do, the question is what are you going to do about it? What if you were in that toilet and there was toilet paper, what would you do? Text a friend? Though text is a good word, as this is in fact the 3rd copy of this text I have in my hand. What happened to the 1st 2 copies? Well I didn’t have a phone with me to text anybody, so I improvised.

So that is the 3rd Life Lesson, always print on super absorbent paper, and remember paper can really really cut, a paper cut is the worst thing, ever, so if you do have to improvise at least you’ll always have some paper, some text with you, should you not be able to text a friend. But if people remember Life lesson 2 then YOU won’t need life lesson 3.

Life Lesson 4 is follows on from Life Lesson3, always but always have copies. Physical copies can be destroyed, or put to other uses as we’ve already discussed, such as mopping up spills, coffee spills on the English teacher’s desk. If she insists on wearing stockings and suspenders to school what dos she expect, a marriage proposal from the French kid hoping to be President?

Dad backs everything up in cyberspace to multiple accounts, they are free so get 17 of them and get all the free hard drives in space. Then email everything to yourself and your 17 free email accounts. Files and CUT and PASTE in FULL. So that when you set fire to the house because you were on the phone and not watching the chip pan. By the way this is not enough either, so buy a pack of usb sticks and make copies galore. By copies galore at least 7. 7 being the number of times you, well use your own imagination, dad wrote this for me not you. 7 times you….

Why is dad so strict about this. He was a Computer Operator when he was still a teenager 40 years ago. Then computers were as big as wardrobes and a disk drive was not a usb stick, it was as big as a washing machine, with 0.1 of a gig or less on it. And if something went wrong you really really really knew about it. So Lesson4 BACKUP, especially now that A levels and degrees and PhDs beckon. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Lesson 5, you will get you degree and be the best of the best. But now you will be even more unemployable. As you know I am ½ Chinese, but say I went back to Shanghai and said I have a degree in this or that. They would laugh and say look out the window, and as you look the will say, we have 200million people just as qualified and 150million better qualified.

So Life Lesson 5 is stand out. And I’m not talking about the English teacher in her stockings and suspenders. A repeated thing is called a Chorus by the way, so the English teacher in stockings and suspenders is the Chorus. Or the Amen at the end of a prayer, that A MAN, may be the answer to the English teacher in stockings and suspenders PRAYERS.

If you are pretty you stand out and you are remembered, so subliminally you get a head start. People judge you in 20 seconds, when my dad worked in a hotel he must have met 100,000 people and spoke to that many, lots of micro-conversations. In his prime he could sum somebody up in 30 seconds, just as a good policeman or bouncer can.

What can you do to get an edge, well you could dress like the English teacher, repeat Chorus everybody. Or you could have style? Style may be just one item of clothes, like Theresa May’s shoes. Or a colourful scarf, or a scarf with unique broach on it. Something that makes people look twice. Yes un-brushed teeth with last nights’ kebab stuck to it makes people look twice and  remember you too.

Do you know you colours, have you done a Swatch, Gold and Black is not a good selection by the way. And yes if you are wondering, my dad is Gay Dad. No, stop laughing, he has a Shanghai wife, you’ve all seen my mum, and 2 bilingual daughters and a bilingual cat called Totoro. This means he knows about FASHION. He wrote the script for Zoolander.

So ask yourself, if a fat farting silver haired dad in shades can know about Fashion, why can’t you? Fashion is a tool so use it.

Life Lesson6 is Personality, this is the most important thing of all, people look at you first that’s why the Fashion, is 5 and Personality is 6, if you look like a dog’s dinner then you won’t get a chance to show your personality. Personality is the most important thing. If you can make somebody laugh then they will like you.

They will say where is Mandy, Brandy or Barry Manilow? If you can hold an intelligent conversation then people will want to listen to you. The looks will fade, but the twinkle in your eye or the laughter and light will not. If you look great that’ll last for 10 years, or 30 if you have Chinese blood, or if you are a fat silver haired dad in shades, then Forever, Fame I want to Live Forever Fame. Chorus again please.

OK, I didn’t write this dad did, he puts stuff down to embarrass me.
Life Lesson 7 is never be embarrassed, what would you do if a naked man suddenly appeared. The English teacher would just slap his bare arse and say, Kindly Go to the Art Studio, the Still Life Class does not start till after assembly. You will have kids, even Sarah, and they will pooh and puke everywhere, so you have to cope with it.

 I live with dad, he does not pooh and puke everywhere yet. BUT I DO KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH BEING CONSTANTLY EMBARRASSED. So have a catchphrase and use it on all these occasions. Such as I used to work in a 4 star deluxe hotel, and smile.
Dads make you take the rubbish out, to do this to do that. And they are a right pain in the PIGU, this is a Chinese word you can look it up, I’ll spell it for you. P I G U But what I never realised was its his way, their way of saying I LOVE YOU. It’s to teach me, to teach you, all of us of the value of work, real work, physical work.

Dad has cleaned toilets, he’s swept floors, he’s ran computer rooms, worked in a major law firm, he’s taught English as foreign language. He’s even written over a million words, please buy the books, he says he’ll buy me a Range Rover if you do, and try saying that if you are Chinese.

The point though is that Dads try and protect us.

STEP AWAY FROM LECTERN
AND DO TAI CHI DISPLAY.

Dad taught me that Tai Chi too, he had to visit 99 Chinese takeaways, visiting all the food and relatives we have, just so he could pass on that Tai Chi. He put on 10 kilos in 3 weeks. But he said he did it because he loved me.

So the 8th and Final Life Lesson, and 8 is lucky in China be HUMBLE enough to realise that you don’t know all the answers, the old sack of farts in the corner, the fat man with silver hair and shades has lived a life and many many things were sad, too sad to mention, that’s why dad, my dad only writes comedy. A Comedy of his many Errors, but if you do buy all his books, he really will buy me a Range Rover, for my dad keeps his words, all 1,060,000 of them safe in cyber space and on 17  usb sticks.








i have since shaved

Sunday, 6 October 2024

Fat Dave and the DJ

%%% somebody was reading this last night


It made me so happy to read it again myself
6 years old this story
I hope everybody can spot and play all the tracks for themselves
and if you are a North Korean Cheerleader....


Sunday 1 April 2018

Fat Dave and the DJ

Fat Dave and the DJ
By
Michael Casey

Dave was fat and old, and needed a wash, he had the needs a wash smell about him. But he lived alone since his wife had died when she was hit by a supermarket trolley in the large car park of the local supermarket. The trolley had not been parked right and had had a nudge and went crashing down hill over all the pot holes and killed her. Lemony Snicket could not have written it any better, but it was the reality, death by supermarket trolley. But at least they paid for the funeral and did offer a free shopping voucher for life, to compensate for her death.

Dave turned down the offer, shopping as a remembrance of his wife’s death would not have been the same. Though the store really did have such great offers. So Dave these past 20 years got fatter and fatter as he found solace in fast food and take aways, while he listened to all the music they used to enjoy together. Can I Touch You there by Michael Bolton used to be their foreplay song, now he just ate chips and dipped them in loads of tomato ketchup. He did get a payout but not the supermarket voucher one first offered.

Barry White’s You’re my First MY Last My Everything was another romantic piece they listened to as they tested the springs on their marriage bed. Now pizza boxes lay scattered about the house. His one and only one was not there any more, his hot water bottle was not there any more. You are the Sunshine of my Life, was not there any more. Oh Jean he proclaimed was not there for him, as the tears for all his fears and his love of all those years was gone, gone, gone.

He had too many Miss you Nights now, since he did not have her, he had been a man and he had really loved his woman, but now she was gone, not even leaving a watermark. Just a dent in an old supermarket trolley where it had hit her head. He had only had eyes for her, and she had left him crying in his sleep. All that she wanted was him, and now she had lfet him high and dry, with just the tears of a clown to comfort him. Has just about staying alive but he had night fevers.

So on and on and on, he played the music that was in him, he let the music take over. If he didn’t he be under attack, from demons. He was searching for a hero to help him to save him from being under attack from demons. He went through their shared record collection, backwards and forwards, looking for an inner vision. But the music was too much, he thought he’d have to throw it all away. He decided to gather up all the CDs and take them to the charity shop.

On the way to the charity shop, a new saviour entered his life. For as fat Dave struggled with wicker basket on wheels which contained all his cds he met a DJ. The DJ really did save his life. For Miles the DJ helped him move the wicker basket to the charity shop. In fact Miles took over and they chatted on the way. Miles knew all about music and therapy. Miles had broken up with his boyfriend at the exact same time fat Dave had lost his beloved fat bottomed wife. Miles boyfriend had betrayed him in the most vile of ways. He had ran off with a straight haired woman, not even nice locks but a straight haired women with bad makeup had stolen the love of Miles’ life away.

So they consoled each other. Then Miles had an idea, he’s give fat Dave his Samsung S9+ 128gig Phone in exchange for trolley load of CDs. Fat Dave would have 10 times more music and a phone he could use, not that he’d ever use all the fancy photo stuff. Fat Dave struggled for a few minutes, but a bargain was a bargain, and maybe with new music his heart might heal. Miles also gave him his BOSE headphones, he’s had them 6 months and besides Miles always changed his headphones every six months.

So with a wave and a smile fat Dave pottered off while Miles rung for a taxi on his backup Apple phone, he was a DJ after all. Now when Miles got to the club that night he decided to use an old CD player, and he announced that tonight he would only play the basket.  Then closing his eyes he picked out one of fat Dave’s Cds and played a few tracks. It was Boston’s Don’t Look Back, followed by It’s Easy and then A man I’ll Never Be. Quickly followed by Tina Turner’s Steamy Windows, then Simply the Best. I’ve tried everything came next, followed by I want it all, and then Lifted.

On and on the night went on. A disit a basket, I pull one from the basket shouted Miles the DJ over the frenzy. Whatever love Dave had had for his wife was in that basket and it was splattered all over the dance floor. Love is Stranger, Sisters are doing it for themselves, Miracle of Love with Sex Crime to follow. On and on went the music. Dancing Queen came next, pandemonium on the dance floor. The Music Basket was an utter utter success. The owner of the club immediately gave Miles a 3 year contact.

As for Dave he discovered Spotify and all the other music that was on the 128 gig on the phone. Miles rung him and said would it be ok if he came by the next day. Miles arrived with several women in tow. They all wanted to meet the inspiration. They were a little surprised to see fat Dave and his untidy house, but once they started to talk music they were totally smitten. The women were Lesbians who loved to dance when they were not running several house and office cleaning companies. So as they talked music with fat Dave they cleaned and polished. Two hours of dancing later the was immaculate. And Dave was gently glowing.

Obviously they all became firm friends. So fat Dave has a succession of very pretty girls coming to his house to talk and dance to music while they cleaned. Miles went from strength to strength with his what’s in the basket routine. Fat Dave’s neighbours were jealous and one old lady called the Police and said he was living off immoral earnings. Some people are evil that way.

A Police Inspector arrived, but he understood, in fact he was gay and knew all about Miles and his basket and how it had all happened as Miles had met fat Dave on the way to the Charity shop. So the Lesbian cleaning company owners added the Police Inspector’s house to their list of contracts. In actual fact they ended up cleaning Police headquarters too, its an ill wind that blows no good after all.

Miles was livid when he heard the story and that’s how he met the Police Inspector, as they say an Inspector Calls, so Miles and Trevor became a couple, I won’t make any comments about handcuffs either. Dave was happy with his new Lesbian cleaner friends but what with all the cleaning he lost a lot of weight. So fat Dave was introduced to a North Korean Cheerleader girl, who wasn’t a Lesbian. And they married and had 7 children each more beautiful than they next.

Obviously Miles did the music and Trevor sorted the parking out, there were 1000 guests after all. And instead of gifts there was an empty wicker basket, and cash was put in it. Dave with not want the money nor did his North Korean Cheerleader Bride. Instead all the money was donated to the local children’s charity.

God works in mysterious ways, Dave made new friends for life after he’s lost his wife. Then through his cleaners he met a new wife. Miles had a life long arresting experience too. So look to the stars everybody.

     


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