Tuesday, 5 September 2023

Chinese Traditional Translation of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey on AMAZON 8 Sept for 8.88 usd

Chinese Traditional Translation of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by Michael Casey

Michael Casey Michael Casey

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available on 8 Sept for 8.88 USD

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Chinese Traditional Translation of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker by [MICHAEL CASEY]

Chinese Traditional Translation of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

by MICHAEL CASEY (Author)  Format: Kindle Edition

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《屠夫、麵包師和送葬者》是一部關於商店街的喜劇在英國的舊鍛造廠和歌唱鐵砧。這裡有一個味道韋恩買了一家廢棄的酒吧,他的妻子懷上了雙胞胎,事情糟透了,墨菲夫人借錢出手相救,建築商白勞了兩對雙胞胎,上帝瞧不起,也幫了忙,韋恩發現了一個地窖下面隱藏著一個地窖,裡面裝滿了二戰時期遺留下來的40年威士忌,這家酒吧是當地黑市商人留下所有東西的地方。韋恩和家人獲救送葬者因在靈車上貼停車罰單而與交通督導員發生爭執。路上有一場爵士葬禮,一隻名叫帕特里克的泰迪熊,一隻名叫阿姆吉特的毛茸茸的狗,它有自己的想法。送葬者的兒子離開了公司,珀西不知所措,他的兒子帶著浪子的請求回來了,請求原諒,“父親原諒我,我現在知道電腦不適合我,電腦裡沒有愛,但我們的生意裡沒有愛。”有愛和同情心。送葬者試圖勒索一名彎曲的建築商,後者將拆除他們居住的商店街。和平得以恢復,承辦人成為建築商的選舉代理人,並帶他參觀了所有其餘的房屋,以便建築商最終進入議會大廈。道奇博彩公司微笑保羅在大選上下注,贏得了 100 萬英鎊。送葬者得知微笑保羅有去大馬士革之路的經歷後勃然大怒,並捐出了所有的錢來幫助挽救他中國朋友的中餐館生意。所以微笑保羅成為了一個有榮譽的人,並在路上得到了一個漂亮的女朋友,因為中國人必須尊重他。 。我以送葬者珀西的一首詩結束死者與生者(三)經過邁克爾·凱西我第一次見到死者是在我九歲的時候,我父親說沒有擔心死者與生者一樣,只有笑聲離開了他們,他們眼中的光芒消失了,憂慮也消失了從他們的肩膀上被抬起,他們的聲音也消失了永恆。在天堂裡,光芒將會回歸,因為它是光芒的閃爍星星,笑聲也會回來,因為是晨風,潮流的轉變是他們的側面笑得顫抖。“Túfū, miànbāo shī hé sòngzàng zhě” shì yī bù guānyú shāngdiàn jiē de xǐjùzài yīngguó de jiù duànzào chǎng hé gēchàng tiě zhēn. Zhèlǐ yǒuyīgè wèidàowěi ēn mǎile yījiā fèiqì de jiǔbā, tā de qīzi huái shàngle shuāngbāotāi, shìqíng zāo tòule, mò fēi fūrén jiè qián chūshǒu xiāng jiù, jiànzhú shāng bái láole liǎng duì shuāngbāotāi, shàngdì qiáobùqǐ, yě bāngle máng, wěi ēn fà xiàn le yīgè dìjiào xiàmiàn yǐncángzhe yīgè dìjiào, lǐmiàn zhuāng mǎnle èrzhàn shíqí yíliú xiàlái de 40 nián wēishìjì, zhè jiā jiǔbā shì dāngdì hēishì shāngrén liú xià suǒyǒu dōngxī dì dìfāng. Wěi ēn hé jiārén huòjiùsòngzàng zhě yīn zài língchē shàng tiē tíngchē fádān ér yú jiāotōng dūdǎo yuán fāshēng zhēngzhí. Lùshàng yǒu yī chǎng juéshì zànglǐ, yī zhī míng jiào pàtèlǐkè de tài dí xióng, yī zhī míng jiào ā mǔ jí tè de máoróngrōng de gǒu, tā yǒu zìjǐ de xiǎngfǎ. Sòngzàng zhě de érzi líkāile gōngsī, pò xī bùzhī suǒ cuò, tā de érzi dàizhe làngzǐ de qǐngqiú huíláile, qǐngqiú yuánliàng,“fùqīn yuánliàng wǒ, wǒ xiànzài zhīdào diànnǎo bùshìhé wǒ, diànnǎo lǐ méiyǒu ài, dàn wǒmen de shēngyì lǐ méiyǒu ài.” Yǒu ài hé tóngqíng xīn.Sòngzàng zhě shìtú lèsuǒ yī míng wānqū de jiànzhú shāng, hòuzhě jiāng chāichú tāmen jūzhù de shāngdiàn jiē. Hépíng déyǐ huīfù, chéngbàn rén chéngwéi jiànzhú shāng de xuǎnjǔ dàilǐ rén, bìng dài tā cānguānle suǒyǒu qíyú de fángwū, yǐbiàn jiànzhú shāng zuìzhōng jìnrù yìhuì dàshà. Dàoqí bócǎi gōngsī wéixiào bǎoluó zài dàxuǎn shàngxià zhù, yíngdéle 100 wàn yīngbàng. Sòngzàng zhě dé zhī wéixiào bǎoluó yǒu qù dàmǎshìgé zhī lù de jīnglì hòu bórán dà nù, bìng juān chūle suǒyǒu de qián lái bāngzhù wǎnjiù tā zhōngguó péngyǒu de zhōng cānguǎn shēngyì. Suǒyǐ wéixiào bǎoluó chéngwéile yīgè yǒu róngyù de rén, bìng zài lùshàng dédàole yīgè piàoliang de nǚ péngyǒu, yīn wéi zhōngguó rén bìxū zūnzhòng tā. .Wǒ yǐ sòngzàng zhě pò xī de yī shǒu shī jiéshùsǐzhě yǔ shēng zhě (sān)jīngguòmàikè’ěr·kǎi xīwǒ dì yī cì jiàn dào sǐzhě shì zài wǒ jiǔ suì de shíhòu, wǒ fùqīn shuō méiyǒudānxīn sǐzhě yǔ shēng zhě yīyàng, zhǐyǒu xiào shēnglíkāile tāmen, tāmen yǎnzhōng de guāngmáng xiāoshīle, yōulǜ yě xiāoshīlecóng tāmen de jiānbǎng shàng bèi tái qǐ, tāmen de shēngyīn yě xiāoshīleyǒnghéng.Zài tiāntáng lǐ, guāngmáng jiāng huì huíguī, yīnwèi tā shì guāngmáng de shǎnshuòxīngxīng, xiào shēng yě huì huílái, yīn wéi shì chénfēng,cháoliú de zhuǎnbiàn shì tāmen de cèmiàn xiào dé chàndǒu.

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  1. Reading age 12 – 120 years
  2. Print length430 pages
  3. Language = Chinese Traditional Translation from my Original English
  4. Publication date8 Sept. 2023

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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CH8VX7BF
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England (8 Sept. 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 1525 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 430 pages

About the author

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Michael Casey

I’ve updated this today 13th April 2023

I’m Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades.

Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me …

I’ve done loads of writing, about 2,000,000 Words worth over 35 years now

But before I started I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger

Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio.

He’d be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him

50 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing.

I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray

I’ve also had an interest in Politics for 50 years

with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians.

I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally

produced by a Theatre.

The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 30 years plus ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I’m more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else…..

I also had other high praise, so I ignore all the nasty negative people who use too much alliteration.

I also ignore those who just cannot write.

Today’s world has much print, but a page will not refuse ink, as my dad used to say.

I tend to write Comedy as I’d rather make you laugh than cry

I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000

If you include “chats” about 4200+ samples, not in a jar either

so if you count Everything maybe 3,000,000 words

the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them.

My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

You can read translations of it here on this site https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/

Up to 22 different languages/translations have been read on the same day

via this site, here on WordPress and my 3 Bloggers

so you have no excuse, find your own language

and read

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

This proves to me that the humour does travel

I have readers in over 162 countries now

From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West

Or its just a hit man on the run,

or whatever Unknown Region Means

It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff

I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess.

which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

all by word of mouth. and 50,000 in Xmas week 2021

If you add up all the Translated downloads from my WordPress + 13,000

when somebody stole the file.

I have had more copies than Boris Johnson’s Churchill book distributed,

40,000 maybe but I got no money for it

I also had a low budget film producer take a look at it back in 2013

Book Publishers have said I’ve made the commissioning editor laugh

Radio People say they like my style

So close but no cigar is the story of my life, so all you power people, do something useful

HELP ME REACH FOR THE SKY from my position in the gutter looking at the stars

As for my life, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales

21 years altogether, and I was born in the shadow of a Brewery

I also was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years.

I even hid a copy of my comic novel “BBU” in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day..

and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, I knew I could teach.

I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment

beside which I’ve had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters

and being a hausfrau a long time too, I’m a great dad, as I’ve had lots of time with my daughters

I can always make somebody talk or laugh, I am an 19 stone George Clooney look alike

Laugh or Die so to speak

I believe my short stories could be used to help teach English, just package them up correctly

or App them into Michael Casey Story Jukebox

What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one

We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don’t make me laugh

I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore.

But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn’t bother

But I’ll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past

4 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out.

Tinnitus is a curse, I wake up with so much noise in my head every morning

for 3 hours I’m terrified for hours till it calms down

It’s no joke, drives you to the edge of insanity and beyond

Go Google if you don’t believe me

I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young,

maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress.

April 2023 I now have a better mattress and duvet too

That’s the end of the tidy version of my life,

if you want more come and buy me a Stella Artois and all will be revealed.

Though I’ve never been much of a drinker, too many alcoholic lodgers

puts you off alcohol

To finish here’s the list of my 20 books, so far:-

1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

2.Shoplife

3.Essays and Plays

4.Blogs 2011

5.300 and Not OUT

6.Shorts 2013

7.More Shorts 2014

8.Quick Stories

9.Still Alive 2015

10.Undiscovered Words 2016

11.Still Smiling 2017

12.Altogether Now

13.New Horizons

14.14 Up

15.15 Down

16.Sweet Sixteen

17. 17 Again

18. 18 New Views

19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole

20. 2020 Words

21. Fresh Fields 70,400 words written so far

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks

Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600 pages,

if ever I get around to writing it, however I really need

a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland,

and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. From Typist to Muse…

We go on to have 4 children and form a Kpop band, and I’d be the manager

the kids would be called Mathew Mark Luke and John in whatever

is the Korean/Japanese or whatever language the typist speaks

its better to dream than just die

ok, that’s your lot,

p.s. Don’t forget I have readers all over the world, everywhere there is Electricity

or maybe only Foreigners like me,

The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker are being read, on the same day,

along with my Quick Stories collection of short stories and other books

I’ve placed online in multiple languages

so Media groups do get in touch

2000 plus copies of Quick Stories in Korean have been downloaded

and 1000s of Arabic translations too

other languages are there too, just so you all suffer equally

Maybe only foreigners find me funny, or I should just look in that mirror

email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

or send a message via WordPress REAL PEOPLE NOT FRAUDS

Spammers beware

I don’t want any prizes, and I don’t believe you have millions to share with me

or you are dying. I never click links, too many years using computers, 44, so I

know just how much damage RUBBISH can do

Leave me in Peace to write when Tinnitus isn’t killing me

not unless you are a speed typist who wants to type for free

while I repose on the sofa behind you

Then just maybe Tears for a Butcher will be written

a 600 page sequel to The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker

Michael Casey

aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England

Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 18th March 2022 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 2,000,000 Words worth over 34years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 54 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 54 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 30 years plus ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 3700 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 90 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 100 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 3 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. 21 Door Keys, key to the door 21 on Bingo, hence title, 53,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm 

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Monday, 4 September 2023

hello Chinese MIKA from the bus stop, if I heard correctly

hello  Chinese MIKA  from the bus stop, if I heard correctly

well I had just been to ENT

Normally I'm never there

So I hope you Mine my name and find a lot to read

if you email

I'll send you a book to read

otherwise here's a few links

https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/author/B00571G0YC/allbooks?ingress=0&visitId=502f7e8d-cc10-4f58-a295-4e253ebb2851&store_ref=ap_rdr&ref_=ap_rdr


https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey

I googled Mika

so that's all

michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

If only your family could publish my books in China

but that's more like a Fairy Tale

If you go  back to 2009 and work your way forward to 2023


STOP PRESS KDP DOES ALLOW CHINESE LANGUAGE BOOKS
SO TODAY HERE IS MY FIRST ONE available in a day or so

On Amazon


this was me today, I did not shave as my Tinnitus was horrible this morning
 my small daughter 10 years ago or more







from a year ago

If I could touch you with just one word

If I could touch you with just one word

If I could get Russia to LISTEN

Nobody believes all the Lies even in your own Country

Time and Tide moves on

It does not stop for anyone

We refine ourselves

We grow old and change

Just as we change our clothing

and wash ourselves then refreshed we start again

So why has Russia stopped in 1945

Why have all the People all over Russia

Still being treated like sheep

And even today being led to slaughter in Ukraine

Why Why Why

Our kids grow up and leave home

But if Russia is the dad, you are still ordered about

There is no Freedom

All he decades of Militarism and for what

So the Generals can skim off money for their Dachas

While the conscripts are no more than slaves

Now a dictator who is no “Leader” smiles like a cheeky schoolboy

As he lies and lies and lies

And is totally ignorant of History, he just wants a Land Grab

So If I could say just one word it would be STOP

Then CHANGE would be another word

LOSE your SOUL would be two others

If he read all my Rubbish, my 2,000,000 Words

What would he learn

One word Laughter

A second word Love

A third word Ordinary people

So why does he never respect any word

Love would be a good one

Love thy Neighbour were words spoken by Somebody

Far greater than Me or even him

So why does Putin Never Listen

What do I have to do

Shout till his ears bleed

Or till the Walls of the Kremlin come Falling Down

In the Beginning Was the Word

and PEACE

is the most beautiful word of All

Can you hear me Putin, let Russians be FREE again

STOP TURN BACK the Tide of History

And Surrender to the Words of God

Amen

Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 18th March 2022 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh

Sunday, 3 September 2023

Acceptance Speech

Acceptance Speech (c)

By Michael Casey


Thank you Navy Seals for getting me here

Ryan air didn't complain when you carried me on as hand luggage

And stuffed me in the luggage rack

They didn't check your bulges under your macs either

Flasher macs, not apple macs

you have to be quick on the draw

whipping out your pistol

Am I speaking code, Rodger the Dodger used to say I did

But he was a golfer and I've not seen him since 2005

He'll swing better than Trump

and his score is real

But I digress, I am frightened of flying after all

So the Navy Seals were being kind to me

And if I had a funny turn, Mandy was there ready

So now here I am to accept the Nobel prize for Literature

The Seals are laughing like seals and banging their flippers

The doormen were too scared to not let them in

I won the prize fair and square

An obscure writer that nobody has heard of 

or even read in any language

Though on every street corner in Singapore

Michael Casey the fat silver haired writer in shades

from Birmingham England

is all the rage

Is it because of my looks

or the weight of my books

or just because I'm a cult

or a writer

or maybe just a W C 

a Writer Cult

or did they say something similar

It's hard to hear with Tinnitus in your ear

another W word

or another C word

Snoop Dog would know

he calls me a soinso

or maybe another word

he is so tall his words fail to reach my ears

Anyway

To get my 1,000,000 from Nobel I have to give a speech

I only accepted for the money

Other awards give you nothing but a plastic trophy

the 2023 bin liners award from your local supermarket

so  I don't want one

and Charlie may be Camilla's darling

but a Knighthood if there's no money attached

leave it in the back of the fridge

I have seen people advertise how to get awards

I think that proves my point

I'd rather have 3 pints free every Saturday at a Pub Chain

For life, and that would not cost them much

considering my Health Record

So Nobel I accept your money

Will it increase my sales from Zero to Zero plus one

as everybody reads for free on my websites

Only if Putin condemns me from his Pulpit

would my sales begin

But I'd rather fart in his face

as he is a disgrace to the human race

So here I am in a crumple hazmat suit

the Navy Seals I wore it

but I did steal a Rosary beads on the way in

so when I finish my 1 hour speech

of thanks to Nobel

I could borrow a stick of dynamite

and tell Putin to eat it

while I say a Rosary 

I do like to be different after all

and then we can all get drunk 

on the free Stella Artois for life

though I do have a friend next door

who might appreciate it too

and his Good Wife likes chocolate

so I'd ramble on and on and on

just. like a politician

finishing by throwing

Clotted Cream at the audience

they can lick the smile off their faces

Cheshire Cats all of them

or is that a Metaphor

Who know's it is Literature after all

and Nobel gave me a prize for mine

or does the stick of Dynamite

go up my backside or Putin's

You decide

Because I'm Worth it















there are nicer photos, but these are more realistic

come and type for me, and make soup, and you can photo me for your instagram

whatever that is, a pot noodle maybe?



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