Tuesday, 15 September 2020

Betting on Disaster

 

MichaelGCasey email michaelgcasey@hotmail.com

 

 


                        Betting On Disaster ©

 

 

                                 By

 

 

                           Michael  Casey

 

 

 

Opening

 

An office with one wall covered in tv monitors from floor to ceiling , in

front of that is a large desk/counter . There are phones and intercoms on

the counter plus an array of buttons . Almost a directors gallery but not

quite . There are three men seated in front of the counter , Mark , David,

Terry , besides them is an empty fourth chair .

 

The first  Mark ,who is in his late twenties, in front of him  are   some

yeast tablets , there is also a body building magazine , though he  is no

body builder himself , he is very fashion conscious .

 

Next is David , much older he has half moon glasses on , beside him is

a battered thesaurus , he is doing a crossword , he is wearing clothing of

a high quality though they would be more suited for Basil Rathbone in an

old Sherlock Holmes mystery . He looks up at the monitors occasionally he

is only half interested , he has seen it all so many times before .

 

Then Terry who is fat and spotty , his fashion sense may have been buried

with the crock of gold , its lost somewhere over the rainbow . He has the

remains of several Whimpys in front of him , along with paper cups of half

drunk coffee . He is reading the Sun , there is a colour photo of "little

Sammy Fox" , he spills food over the picture and picks it up  , he belches

as he does so.

 

A very old man with waistcoat and gold chain enters he is leading a new

recruit .The recruit is all crew cut and collar and tie , he is fresh from

university .

 

 

George:This is your new boy , he'll be taking my old position .

David :Thanks George .

Mark  :We hope he's as good as you were , I mean are .

George:Were is the correct word .

 

 

Mark looks embarrassed by his lack of tact .

 

 

George:I'll still be here a while longer till my retirement .

Terry :What's he called ?

Frank :I'm Frank .

David :You look a bit young to me , have you just finished your finals ?

Frank :Yes , I only left Strobeford a month ago .

Mark  :Is that one of the new ones ?

David :Yes it's the newest one in Cambridge , it was founded with the money

       from the Aids Vacine back in 98 .

Terry :You any relation to the Strobeford's .

Frank :Lord Strobeford was my uncle .

David :That explains it then . His best friend owns this outfit .

 

 

Terry feeds his face and though a mouthful of chips adds .

 

 

Terry :Crossover nepotism .

David :The very thing .

George:I've got other errands to run so I'll leave you to it .

 

 

 

George slowly leaves , dragging one side of his body , he's had a stroke .

 

 

Mark  :Thanks , George .

 

 

Frank stands not knowing what to to . So Mark motions him to sit in the

spare seat .

 

 

Mark  :Its quite straightforward really , we watch all the satellite feeds

       as they come in ,then we speak to the tv stations by this equipment

 

 

Mark waves his hand expansively .

 

 

Mark  :We give them a mix of sport , sensation and human interest .

Terry :Earthquakes and volcanoes and plane crashes and fires in skyscrapers

Mark  :People getting married while they parachute  from 30000 feet .

Terry :People finding long lost relatives after searching for years .

Mark  :I always like those stories , its my soft spot .

Terry :He has other soft spots too , but I shouldn't mock the afflicted .

David :Very occasionally we give them news .

 

Mark pushes some paper over his "body building " magazine ,before resuming

his "induction speech" .

 

 

Mark  :All human life passes before us and we help share it with the world

Terry :I have to admit I like the reunions after many years of separation,

       especially when the shock and the excitement gives  them  a  heart

       attack .

 

 

Terry breaks into laughter , Mark scowls , Frank looks ill at ease . David

looks up from his crossword .

 

 

 

David :It always strikes me as ironic how something which people crave so

       much is their undoing for a finish . If they only stayed happily

       ignorant then they'd be alive . Instead they search for years only

       to die of a heart attack when they meet their relatives .

Terry :But think what great tv it makes !"Father found after fourty years"

       then the added bonus , "Father dies in the arms of a daughter he

       never knew" , and the pictures of a daughter in tears chasing the

       ambulance only to be dragged back by customs - now that's what I

       call really good tv .

Mark  :You always gloat Terry .

Terry :But its true .

David :It is true , though Terry does dwell on the sensational aspect .

Mark  :Well Frank that's about it ,if you watch us at work you'll soon get

       the hang of it .

Frank :Thanks .

 

 

Frank sits down at his place a little unsure . So Terry leans over to

explain.

 

 

Terry :See the screens marked 1 to 20 , well each of these buttons will

       transmit the pictures , all you do is push the button at the same

       time pressing the other set of buttons .

Frank :Could you show me ?

 

 

A light flashes at Frank's position Terry leans over and presses before

speaking into the mike at Frank's position .

 

 

Terry :CL communications here , what do you want ?

Voice :Can I have some soccer from Brazil ?

 

 

Terry looks up and scans the screens , he then presses the button to match

the picture then presses the "phone" button again .

 

 

Terry:They are coming now .

 

 

Terry then turns back to Frank .

 

 

Terry :See its easy . Press one lot to answer ,then press tv  button ,then

       press answer button again . The computer does the rest . I forgot

       to say there's an ear piece  to so you can pick out the sound for

       the feed you're viewing .

Frank :Seems straightforward .

David :Occasionally we ring them and tout the services , there's a list on

       a pad besides you .

Frank :You're not very busy now are you ?

Terry :Not really , but when the sports results come in then we get very

       busy .

David :People don't want news , they want entertainment .

 

 

Frank looks at the monitors , there is a mixture of sport and disaster on

the screens , then in a corner on its own he sees another monitor .

 

 

Frank :What's that ?

Mark  :That's Northern Ireland , we don't get much call for it nowadays .

David :Most of it is fed straight to West Africa . It's the only foreign

       news they can afford . Andingi Shatola is the world expert on the

       "100 years War in Northern Ireland" .

Frank :You all seem pretty blase about things

David :We've seen it all before that's all , news is the same as history

       - it repeats itself .

 

 

A burp from Terry rings out .

 

 

Mark  :And so does Terry .

Terry :You're quite the little wit today aren't you .

David :Please don't start or  you'll give the lad the wrong impression .

Frank :But you must get excited every now and then . Seeing things happen

       live .

Terry :It's all the same really , bad news spreads fastest , always has

       and always will .

Mark  :Except Royal Births , King Harry's triplets a few years ago caused

       a sensation , and we got the news first .

David :I have to admit that the appetite for Royal news is amazing .

 

 

On one of the many screens a volcano is seen errupting . Mark watches

open mouthed . He puts the volume up so all can hear .

 

 

 

Reporter:Here at the base of Mount Saint Helens we can see a plume of red

         hot ash  and fire  bursting skyward trying to touch the sun .

Mark    :That's a bad one , though it does look very pretty like a Turner

         painting in some strange way .

Terry   :I wonder how many are dead or injured or covered in red hot ash

         like the Romans at Pompeii. (HE IS EXCITED)

David   :Thanks   for saying  Romans its  given me the last answer for my

         crossword  .

 

 

David looks up from the crossword to see the disaster at Mount St. Helens

 

 

David  :They shouldn't call it a mountain anymore , way back in 1980 over

        1500 feet was ripped off by a volcano , then in 99 another 2000ft

        went . Its just a hill really .

Terry  :But it still spits death and shakes the earth with gigantic hicups

Frank  :This is the first time I can remember it errupting .

David  :Shows your age doesn't it .

Mark   :I'll send this  to everybody then .

 

 

Mark starts pressing buttons at his position , he silences the reporter as

well .

 

 

Terry :See how Mark did that , Frank , well you do the same .

 

 

A scene of blood an mayhem appears on one screen  , Frank flinches , Terry

puts the voice on broadcast .

 

 

Reporter:Behind me is the stomach churning sight of yet another victim of

         the Cambleforth crusher . This person , for police have yet to

         establish the sex , will be the seventh victim of the crazed man

         who has struck so much terror into the North of England .

Terry   :Brilliant I just love a good who dunnit , the real thing is so

         much better than Agatha Christie .

Mark    :I bet you'd love to be there , smelling the blood .

Terry   :Of course I would ,I haven't been stuck behind a desk all my life

David   :What never ceases to amaze me is that its always the North that

         produces these mass murderers ,I know the North is not  a nice

         place to live in , especially after Sellafield exploded and fell

         into the sea , but if you don't like the area you can always come

         and live in the south , providing you are not radioactive and do

         have a job to go to .

Terry   :I bet this killer is a wrestler or an American football player ,

         he has to be , the first thing he does is crush their ribs then

Mark    :I think we can do without the details . Besides its boring now .

Frank   :How can you all be so callous , so detached , its real people not

         robots you are talking about . People's fresh and blood , not so

         many lumps of meat hanging on a butchers hook .

Reporter:Police say they still don't know if more than one person has been

         killed , such is the carnage .

Terry   :I'll send that to the Far East  , they love Agatha Christie too .

 

 

Frank looks on disbelieving as the other three scan the pictures and press

their transmit buttons . One one monitor a picture of a little boy appears

Frank watches with interest , we hear that report .

 

 

Reporter:Paulo  Caltonat  , was out playing this morning when he did not

         return his parents went and looked for him , all they found was a

         shoe .

 

 

The child's mother appears holding the shoe .

 

 

Reporter:Then the family dog started to bark , they found the child , but

         were unable to rescue him , he was trapped down an old well . It

         was 8am then , it is now 1pm . For five hours he has been trapped

 

 

Terry sees Frank staring at the rescue picture so he nudges David .

 

 

Terry:I bet you a dinner at Diablo's that they get the boy out by the time

      we finish tonight .

 

 

David looks at the picture for a second to judge the events .

 

 

David:The kid will die .

Terry:The last time we had one of these the kid lived .

David:This time he had no breakfast so he'll be hungry sooner and in that

      heat .

 

 

David shakes his head , Terry looks uncertain .

 

 

Terry:Well a bet's a bet , It'll brighten up our day anyway .

Mark :Sometimes I think you two are real bastards .

David:News people are bastards.(SAID MATTER OF FACTLY , AS IS ALL HE SAYS)

 

 

Frank turns to them , he's only just noticed they have been talking .

 

 

Frank:It's bad that isn't it ? I hope the kid gets out .

Mark :Of course he will . (OBVIOUSLY LYING)

Terry:He'll suffer but he'll get out .

David:The kid's had it .

 

 

Frank is really shocked by David's matter of fact attitude . He glares at

him .

 

 

Frank:How can you say that , don't you want the kid to live ? Haven't you

      got any feelings ?

David:I'm a media man , I have no feelings , the number of times I've seen

      death and destruction . (SAID MATTER OF FACTLY)

Terry:Murder and mayhem .  (SAID WITH RELISH)

Mark :Suffering and suicide . (SAID QUIETLY) 

          

 

David glances at his "echo" before continuing .

 

 

David:It no  use having feelings they get in the way , you're not paid to

      have feelings ,  ok stuck here you can have the odd sniffle if you

      like , but the lads at the sharp end cann't afford to do that .

Terry:They have deadlines to meet , planes to catch , satelites moving out

      of position .

Mark :Or even mule trains to catch .

Terry:Do remember old Johnnie Campelton , he once used a carrier pidgeon

      to get some film out .

David:Didn't he win an award for that .

Terry:Yes the Kodak News Award . One or two tried copying him after that ,

      only the natives in some famine ate the pidgeons .

David:I remember now , that must have been twenty years ago .

 

 

Frank shakes his head in disgust , he looks back at the monitor .

 

 

Frank:The kid's fallen further down the well . They're going to get some

      pot-holers to go down after him .

David:It looks like dinner will be on you Terry , and don't forget dinner

      includes a good bottle or three of wine , the 97 is a good vintage .

Terry:It's not over yet , besides I heard the 96 was a better vintage .

David:We'll have one of each then .

Terry:Suits me , seeing as you'll be paying , I've heard they're calling

      in a mining engineer to help .

David:That's not on the feed .

Terry:I've plugged into the radio service .

 

 

David presses a few switches then listens intently to his earpiece .

 

 

David:I still say the kid's had it .

Frank:You're a pair of absolute bastards .

Terry:That's one of the more polite things we've been called .

 

 

At this point old George comes in carrying mugs of coffee , he places one

at each position , a fifth mug he has for himself .

 

 

George:Coffee's here . How's the world today lads ?

Mark  :There's an interesting human interest item .

Terry :A kids fallen down a well .

David :The kid's a gonner .

Frank :These bastards are betting on the outcome .

George:They've been doing that as long as I've know them .

 

 

George looks at Frank as they sip the coffee , George fingers the chain of

his pocketwatch , the chain has trickets hanging from it , one could be a

cross . Frank is glued to the rescue attempt .

 

 

George:How long has the kid been trapped ?

Mark  :A few hours , since breakfast their time .

George:So he'll be hungry .

Terry :And thirsty .

David :And he's slipping further down the well . At least one good thing

       can be said of it all .

George:What's that ?

David :I'll be having a really good dinner tonight .

 

 

David lights up a really foul cigar .

 

 

Frank :I need some air .

 

  

Frank storms out .

 

 

Terry :I don't think the kid has the stomach for the job .

Mark  :Perhaps he's a non smoker ?

George:I better be off then , I've got my rounds to do .

David :Thank's for the coffee , its the only good news we can gaurantee .

 

 

George walks away giving a backward glance at the rescue of child on tv .

 

 

George:I hope the kid'll be ok . (MURMURS)

 

 

David:I think Frank will have to start to grow up or he won't last long

       here .

Mark :Come on give him a chance , it took me a while to get in the swing

      of things .

Terry:I still think you're a bit of a softie .

Mark :I still care if that's what you mean .

David:But at least you control your feelings ,this Frank will be a nervous

      wreck by the end of the day .

 

 

Frank returns , he has washed his face .

 

 

Frank:Any other good stories ?

Terry:There's been a spillage of chemical waste in Sommerville .

Frank:I know Sommerville my father has a place a few miles from it .

Mark :Is it a nice area .

Frank:Very quite place , though there is a new town nearby and the old

      quarry has the chemical works , you cann't actually see it .

David:You can now there's a cloud hanging over the entire area .

 

 

They all look at the pictures from Sommerville , a cloud in the sky and

people closing all doors and windows , some driving away

 

 

Frank:My girlfriend lives in that cottage , luckily she's away .

David:It doesn't look too bad , we have one a month nowdays .

Terry:The Europeans think GB stands for Grimey Bilge , what with all the

      crap we import .

David:It was worth œ80 billion to the economy last year .

Mark :But what about the environment ?

Terry:It doesn't matter it all goes to the North , well past Oxford anyway

Mark :It's that attitude that killed all the seals off back in 88 .

David:I heard the World Wildlife people say there were over a 1000 pair

      now , so that's not too bad .

Terry:What's wrong with a few species dying off anyway

Frank:You  all  sound like the pundits down  the  pub   ,  nothing really

      matters so long as the price of a pint stays reasonable .

Terry:You  forgot to  mention so long as the  head's not  bigger than the

      pint !

David:I cann't abide pubs that do that , its a cardinal sin .

Mark :I hate unwashed glasses myself , I mean you never know what you may

      catch .

Frank:You really are the most selfish lot of bastards I've ever met .

David:Oh do grow up , cann't you tell when we are joking .

Terry:I wasn't joking .

Mark :I was only half joking , well-  unwashed glasses ARE unhealthy .

David:Can we get back to work , looks like a major crash on Brazilian

      railways .

 

 

They  all stare at  the scene  , bodies everywhere and a mangled mass of

trains and track .The reporter speaks , David puts it on the tannoy so all

can hear.

 

 

Reporter:Here in Santa Jorge we witness a scene of utter carnage , a train

         appears to have hit a petrol tanker that got stuck on the level

         crossing ; the train , a local train was full , it was market day

David:That Jenkins is a real good actor , he looks as if he IS really

      concerned for the people .

Terry:Isn't he the grandson of the late great Peter Jenkins .

David:The very same grandson .

Terry:The top journalism prize is the Jenkins , didn't John Jenkins get

         it too ?

David:Yes , that's why this David Jenkins is trying so hard to live up

      to his father's and grandfather's reputation .  

Terry:Like you say he is a good actor .

Mark :Oh I know him , he did actually try to be an actor before he went

      into this game .

David:Only his acting has improved .

Reporter:The scene is one of utter devastation  with human remains littering

         the area , the smell of death hangs over like a dark cloud , this

         dark day will never be forgot .

Mark :I thought he'd break into Shakespeare then .

Frank:I don't believe you , of course he's touched , I am and I'm miles

      away , a whole continent away .

Terry:Really?  (GENUINELY SHOCKED)

David:You've a lot to learn then . We've all seen it all before , hundreds

      of times , you get used to it , it becomes routine .

Terry:Boring even .

Mark :Years ago people were shocked when a Pope was shot , even us ,but

      times have changed so much .

Frank:I don't think I want to become like you .

David:Then you're in the wrong job .

 

 

Old George comes in and hands a message to David .

 

 

George:The boss wants to know how Frank is doing .

David:What's he want me to do , write him a bloody school report .

Terry:Just say "He shows promise for the future , once he gets used to the

      working environment he will be a welcome addition to the team " .

Mark :You must have a degree in bullshit .

David:Just say he's settling in nicely .

George:Ok .

 

 

George looks up at the pictures of the train disaster , he nervously plays

with the chain to his pocket watch .

 

 

George:That's a bad one . There must be people trapped inside too .

David:There always are in these cases .

Terry:Better off if they died judging by the look of some of them .

Frank:These  ghouls  think the reporter on the scene is pretending  to  be

      moved , they say he's acting so he can get the "Jenkins" award .

George:It used to be called the "Michael Burke" award when I was a lad .

David:Who's Michael Burke  , even I cann't place that name .

George:You're making me feel ancient now . As for young Jenkins though , I

       hate to have to say this but he IS acting . Look at his eyes , and

       haven't you seen him glance at his watch all the time .

David:I  was about to tell him that ,  Jenkins is hurrying so he can  meet

      the deadline for the next satelite feed .

 

 

 

Frank looks more closly and he has to agree with them . George pats Frank

on the shoulder then leaves ,as George leaves he glances at the scenes of

destruction on the monitors .

 

 

Frank:You're right then , but somebody must care , they MUST .

Mark :Old George does ,  but it got him nowhere it just left him  drained

      and worn out .

Terry:You  have to restrain your feelings or else you are left  dried  out

      like a prune , you must be professional .

 

 

At that moment one screen lights up with the "Miss Striptease Results"

 

 

Terry:Bloody Hell look at the tits on her .

David:The rest isn't too bad either .  (SAID MATTER OF FACTLY AS USUAL)

Mark :So much for the restraint .

Terry:Wait till the "Body Builders" come on then we'll see about restraint

Frank:I thought we  were a news channel ?

David:This  is  part of the results service .  The Miss Striptease  is  50

      years old , it started when people got fed up of the Miss Beauty    .

Mark :I saw a video about that at the library , it was very quaint .

Terry:All" I want to meet people , look after animals and old people and

      above all be happy" .

David:They didn't mention the fact" favours" were offered  .

Terry:And gratefully received !

 

 

Terry laughs like a drain , David chuckles softly . Mark looks embarrassed

They all resume their work for a while . Until there is a space report .

David puts it on the tannoy .

 

 

Reporter:Today  will be the 30th landing on Mars ,  all is expected to  go

         well though everybody will be holding their breaths  , for as you

         may remember the last landing ended in disaster when the crew of

         ten all died when a retro rocket misfired and so caused a crash .

         The  crew  on the Mars settlement are also  hoping  for  a  safe

         landing  as due to the previous disaster their return  home  has

         been delayed by two years .            

David:I'd forgotten all about that , its just like clockwork .

 

 

They all press their controls to send the pictures everywhere .

 

 

Terry:Oh I remember the crash the last time , it was really good , I've

      got  it  on tape at home in fact .  I watch it whenever  I  have  a

      a hangover , I get so excited I forget my headache .

Mark :I bet you've got tapes of "Miss Striptease" too .

Terry:Of course , the space striptease  ones are the best though .

 

 

Terry laughs like a drain .

 

 

David:It's  still seems odd that with all the progress in space  we  still

      don't have many woman up there .

Frank:I like all the harmony there is in space .

 

 

The other three stare at him .

 

 

Frank:You know Russia , America , Japan and Australia all co-operating .

David:Am I hearing things ?

Terry:No he really did say it .

Mark :I know I was a triffle naive when I started but not that much .

Frank:I don't care what you cynics say , I think it's nice , it shows the

      true human spirit .

    

    

Terry and David exchange looks .

 

 

Terry:Go on David you tell him .

 

 

David clears his throat before he speaks .

 

 

David:Many  many  years ago there was an accident at a Nuclear  reactor  ,

      this  was before fision and fast breeders were  commonplace  .  The

      place was called "Three Mile Island" in America , then a few years

      later  a real disaster occured at a placed  called  "Chernobil"  in

      Russia . I call it a disaster , nothing compared to when Sellafield

      fell into the sea or when Minsk was wiped off the face of the earth.

      or when Los Angeles just dissappeared .

Terry:The Americans didn't mind about L.A. as they call it because as they

      said at the time "We've Lost Aids" . As Aids was rampant in the city

      then , the vaccine not being yet discovered .

David:To   continue  ,   these  civil  nuculear   accidents   showed   the

      Superpowers, as they were then called , what the world would look

      like if they ever used their arsenals . So they decided to reduce to

      10%  of what they both once had .  So they then had  a  surplus  of

      rocket fuel , so it was decided to head for Mars . It was of mutual

      benefit and prestidge . The Russians spent the money  saved  not on

      guns but on American grain so it worked out well for everybody .

Terry:The Japs always wanted to go into space but wanted a partner , so

      when one night a drunken Australian P.M. said  Australia would go

      to the Moon and then beyond , while at a reception at the Japonese

      Embassy , the Japs showed it on tv .

David:The P.M. couldn't back down , so Australia and Japan joined forces .

      Frank my boy , its got bugger all to do with harmony , it just plain

      bloody sense ,  its cheaper than the arms race and once this  planet

      is finished , which will be in 200 years at the rate we're going the

      Yanks and the Russians want somewhere else to go . As for the Japs

      its an adventure , and the Australians will do anything for a laugh.

Terry:It was the Australians who started the space striptease before the

      tv companies bought some timeshare on a supplies vessel .

Frank:Your joking .

Terry:Staight up . An Aussie was in space , when they beat the West Indies

      at cricket so he got pissed on Australian Champagne , as did his

      female crew . It ended up in the first space striptease , and nine

      months later two of the Japs gave birth . The Aussie and his two

      wifes and children went to live on the statelite relay station on

      the dark side of the moon .

Mark :I bet you've got tapes of that space first too . (DISGUSTED)

Terry:Of  course  ,  its  antique footage worth a bit no  doubt  ,  but  I

      wouldn't sell .

Mark :A true collector .  (SARCASTICALLY)

 

 

On one screen  an update of the trapped infant appears , Frank puts it on

the tannoy.

 

 

Reportor:Sadly  it looks as if the trapped infant has given up  his  fight

         for life , he's made no sound for two hours now . The rescue will

         continue but it looks as if there will be no rejoicing when it is

         over.

 

 

On  the  monitor  the picture move from the reporter back  to  the  mother

clutching  her child's shoe .Frank lowers the volume ,  he sheds a  silent

tear for the dead infant .

 

 

David:Well Terry it looks like dinner is on you .

Terry:You win some , you lose some .

 

 

Frank looks at them in disbelief , then he storms out .

 

 

Terry:What's the matter with him .

David:He won't last the week .

Mark :I better see if he's ok .

 

 

Mark gets up and heads for the door . Terry shouts after him .

 

 

Terry:He's got a girl friend already , you won't get a look in .

David:It never ceases to amaze me how naive the youth of today are .

Terry:They've got no backbone at all .

 

 

On one screen an update of the chemical spillage at Sommerville .

 

 

David:It looks like the chemicals were much more toxic than first expected

Terry:They always lie when something happens .

David:They started flying the stuff in when locals blockaded the roads .

Terry:It's progress no doubt .

 

 

Frank and Mark return , Frank has washed his face .

 

 

Mark :Did we miss anything ?

Terry:Not really , the chemical spillage is worst than they admitted .

David:But that's par for the course , but who care's anyway -its up North.

Mark :I suppose you are right .

 

 

Frank shakes his head in disgust .

 

 

Terry:Do you want to go double or quits ?

David:You mean for two dinners ?

Terry:Why not its been a boring day so far .

David:What's the bet ?

 

 

Terry scans the screens .

 

 

Terry:I say they'll be at least ten dead at Sommerville .

David:Your pushing your luck .

Terry:The weather report says its windy so they'll be a wider spread .

David:Does this bet include deaths caused by panic as well or just direct

      poisoning .

Terry:Well I thought you'd give me a chance and include the indirects too

David:I'm a fool to myself but you're on ,it has been a slow day after all.

Mark :Cann't you to give it a rest , you can see the boy is upset .

David:Dear me , you're not going soft on us are you , after all this time

Mark :Let's just say I have some tact .

Terry:Bollocks .

David:Don't say that word you'll excite him . (DRYLY)

Terry:You're right there .

 

 

Mark  turns his back on them in disgust

 

 

David:So the bet is on . I'll put it on all the screens , there should be

      two or three crews up there .

 

 

The screens now all show Sommerville with a poison cloud over it .

Frank looks at the pictures with a heavy heart .

 

 

Terry:Look there's an ambulance .

 

David puts the volume on tannoy for that picture .

 

 

Reporter:Here  at "The Haywaine" there has been an unfortunate  death  .An

         aged couple hearing of the alert tried to leave their cottage  ,

         sadly  the  man ,  a Mr John Demkin ,  while  helping  his  wife

         downstairs  tripped  and broke his neck ,  his  wife  also  fell

         breaking  her pelvis .  She was still alive when discover  by  a

         policeman who had come to help evacuate them . She died of shock

         shortly after hearing that her husband of sixty years was dead .

Terry:Two down eight to go .

David:Sixty years married , you only get thirty years for mass murder .

Mark :I think its sweet being married for sixty years .

Frank:I know them . (HE SAYS QUIETLY)

Terry:Not any more .

 

 

Frank is in shock now , he hasn't got the strength to answer back

 

 

David:It looks like the usual story , pretend there is no emergency , then

      admit there is a slight problem .

Terry:Then say the problem is just a little worse than anticipated , but

      still no cause for alarm .

David:Then before the ink has dried on the press release its bingo .

Terry:Total disaster .

David:And  where did we leave the emergency plans  ,  does the  kit  still

      work ?

Terry:There is a silver lining  - it makes great tv .

David:Always . (HE'S GETTING BORED NOW)

Mark :I just heard on a radio feed the Cambleforth Crusher has been caught

Terry:Was I right , was he a wrester ?

Mark :No but ,  he was in an American football team .  Only he got  kicked

      out when the trainer found him with his wife , the woman set him up

      just to annoy her husband .

Terry:Don't tell me all his victims look like the trainer and his wife .

Mark :Yes . You always spoil the fun , you should have let me spin it out.

Terry:I would normally , as you are so good at spinning things out , but I

      am only interested in this poison cloud for the moment .

Mark :You really like the way I tell things . (HE IS FLATTERED)

Terry:Of course . (OFF HANDEDLY , HE IS CONCENTRATING ON THE SCREENS)

David:You do brighten the day for us , everything is oh so predictable .

 

 

Mark is really flattered ,  he is beaming with pride .  We look at them in

turn . Mark his ego boasted , David bored , Terry on edge over the bet ,

Frank in the depths of sorrow . Old George comes in with coffee and a pile

of food for Terry .

 

 

George:How's things ?

David:Terry is afraid he'll have to stand me two dinners .

 

 

George passes out the coffee and leaves the tray by Terry . Frank awakes

slightly from his torpor , he picks up his coffee and sips it .

 

 

George:You betting on the poisoning ?

Terry:Only  another  eight deaths then its David who will  be  buying  the

      dinner . An old couple have died already .

Mark:They are playing double or quits .

George:It looks bad . What's the matter with the boy .

Mark:All this is too much for him , he knew the people who died too .

George:Oh .

 

 

George  goes over to Frank ,  he gives him a reasuring pat on the  back  ,

then before turning to leave he looks from Mark to David and Terry then

back  to  Frank ,  then to the screens ,  reporters jostling to  film  the

bodies of the old people being put in the ambulance . George looks at his

pocket watch then leaves the room , still clutching the watch .

 

 

 

David:What's this .

 

 

On the screens a police car has hit another car . Both are mangled .

 

 

 

Terry:They look dead , the bodies haven't been moved yet .

David:That's another three dead .

Terry:No another four , look there's a toddler in the back .

 

 

The reporter on the screen speaks .

 

 

Reporter:We came across this scene while on  our way to a local hospital.

 

 

The camera moves around the scene , we see all the dead clearly .

 

 

Reporter:There  is nothing we can do for them ,  so we'll carry on to  the

         hospital .

 

 

 

We see Terry smiling now .

 

 

Terry:That's  six  then ,  it looks like dinner will be on you  . As  I'm

      feeling  generous instead of two dinners for me on two nights I'll

      let Mark come with us

Mark:That's good of you but I may be doing something else tonight .

David:Not washing your hair ? (QUIETLY)

Mark:Pardon ?

David:You're not wasting a change to eat at my expense ?

Mark:Oh all right then I'll come .

 

 

Mark  picks  up  the phone and a  hurried  conversation  ensues  ,  before

slightly flustered he puts it down .

 

 

Mark:It's all settled I'll be going out with you two .

 

 

Mark tidies the phone and edges it away . David and Terry exchange smiles.

 

 

Terry:That's so long as another four die .

Mark:I almost forgot that .

David:It looks like the reporting teams are all heading for the hospital.

Terry:Deathbed gasps and hands clutched in love as one "half"  dies .

Mark:Those things still bring a tear to my eye .

 

 

On the screens we see three victims swathed in bandages and tubes .

 

 

Reporter:These three men were at the chemical company when calamity came .

David:Sometimes I wish they'd cut the alliteration , it sounds as it he is

      describing an old John Wayne film - "Calamity Came" .

Terry:That's quite good that "Calamity Came"

Mark:Look , I think those three are going to die .

 

 

The three watch as the screens show the men in their final death throes .

The reporter is moving forward looking for an exclusive interview when the

worker literally dies on him . The reporter is seen mouthing "Oh shit" in

his disappointment . So the reporter does not try to interview the other

two . He switches to an oration .

 

 

Reporter:As we stand here behind me these brave men fight their last brave

         fight . The struggle for life itself , but it is all in vein , we

         can hear them gasping for breath ,  choking for air  ,  clutching

         the hands of the nurses in one last desperate act of gratitude .

 

 

We look back at David and the others again .

 

 

David:Well that is nine , one more and the dinner is on me .

Terry:That reporter should go into politics he is so corny .

Mark:It's true what you say but I still find it touching .

 

 

They notice Frank still clutching his coffee , he is at breaking point ,he

is glaring at the screens .

 

 

David:You can leave if you want to Frank.

 

 

No reply from Frank .

 

 

David:You can leave now if you like Frank .

Terry:Yes go , you just aren't suited for this .

Mark:It's not everybody's cup of tea .

Frank:Perhaps I should .

 

 

George comes in at that moment .

 

 

George:The old man wants to know if you lot are on strike  ?

David:We'll be back to normal soon .

Terry:As soon as I win my bet .

 

 

There  is  a rush of activity on the screens ,  a body is rushed in  on  a

stretcher .

 

 

Terry:Looks like number ten and dinner is served .

Reporter:This  young  girl crashed her car when she swerved  to  avoid  an

         ambulance . It does not look good .

 

 

The nurses on screen cut away the clothes of the girl and a heart shock

machine is wheeled forward . We hear Terry say "God  what a body , what a

waste" . We see the face now .

 

 

Frank:Jane ! Jane ! Jane ! (SCREAMING)

David:What's the matter with him ?

Mark:It cann't be his girlfriend he said she wasn't there .

 

 

One  the  screen we see the doctor applying the shock ,  the  girl's  body

flinches . We see Frank again .

 

 

Frank:Jane ! Jane ! Jane !

Terry:I  think it is his girlfriend .  What a waste ,  what a body  .  At

      least I get dinner .

 

 

Frank  jumps  up  and begins to throttle Terry ,  on  the  screens  behind

another shock is given to the girl . The body of the girl jumps , then the

doctor listens for a pulse . Frank stops to look . As he loosens his grip

on Terry he sees the doctor shake his head . The girl must be dead .

 

 

Frank:No , No , No Oh God No .

 

 

Frank  moves forward and touches the face of Jane on the screen  .  As  he

strokes her hair on the screen a sheet is slowly brought over her face .

Frank screams "You Bastards" and punches one of the monitors.

There is a loud bang and flash , everything disappears .

 

 

We are now outside and two maintenance men are forcing the  door open .

 

 

1st Man:The breakers tripped out , all the teams are screaming blue murder

        all the satellite feeds have gone dead .

 

 

They open the door to the room David and Co were in . Only it is covered

in cobwebs , as the maintenance men enter a dove flies out .

On the desk are three Toby jugs each has a face , David , Terry and Mark

to one side is a cracked statue of an angel . The men move to a breaker

switch  ,  before  they get to it the lights come on .  They hear  a  loud

chuckling . Outside in the corridor is George , it is him who is chuckling

He is looking at his pocket watch . We see it clearly there is a cross on

the chain , and a Star of David and a little Budda  and a little sword .

The face of the pocket watch has Father Time on it . The maintenance men

look after George they are about to question him when he disappears as he

walks  down  the corridor .  We hear news reports from  offices  down  the

corridors . All is good news .

 

 

 

                           The End

 

 

 

I WROTE THIS OVER 30 YEARS AGO, NOW AS THE WORLD BURNS

 AND WE HAVE A NEW AMERICAN DYSTOPIA BECOMING THE NORM

ONLY VOTING, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE POLLING STATION

IT MAY BE YOUR LAST HOPE……

 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday, 14 September 2020

14th Sept 2020 the new haircut photos

I was told I looked like a tramp version of santa

so I had a shave

then I had a haircut, a number 4 all over

my hair does grow very fast as I am  very fertile

so now I look very stupid, you an read the 3000 posts on this site and judge for yourself






Portuguese Translations

Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England read in 167 countries so far https://www.amazon.co.uk/Micha...