Things I Watch on Tv

Things I Watch on TV ©

By

Michael Casey

Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been saved and will now be on NBC, I just read it in the newspapers, so it gave me an idea to talk about. If you have not heard of it then, there are bits on Utube. I’ve seen several episodes and we think its very funny in our house. The straight faced gay captain/boss actually reminds me of a friend of mine. So self controlled and rules orientated, very Spock like. Though my friend isn’t gay, though he might say it’s illogical to talk about sexuality, not unless he was hitting on me.

Then there would be a serious discussion as I ran away, I am just boringly a woman lover. Though dressing up in women’s clothing is an English tradition especially in Panto, or on a Friday or Saturday night, after I’ve shaved my legs again. So now I hope I’ve made things clear I’ll continue. I’m a bit tired today as the pain monster attacked last night and I did not get much rest. It could have been a reward for the crucify Morons joke yesterday, that’s if God really is a fundamentalist.

I do like tv programmes that are food for the brain too, I saw one about the Royal Academy last night, its a club of artists for artists if you want the 2 second explanation. Or you can catch the programme on the BBCiplayer it’ll give you much more detail. Everybody watches David Attenborough but Jaques Cousteau was better if you are old enough to have seen that. Cousteau I believe invented the aqualung, but check up on the facts and watch his programmes for yourself. John Denver even wrote a song about him.

For me News is always of interest, though Brexit is just so boring because it is a repetition of fixed positions. For pride you Brexit, for basic economics you stay in. That’s the quick explanation. News has been an interest for 50+ years from when I used to watch the news as my dad heckled the tv. And yes I still do that, it’s a blood sport after all. I even spotted Sir Robin Day in London when I was on a trip, I tried following him but he walked so incredible fast. If it were anybody else I would not have bothered. He was the Walter Cronkite of UK, if I’ve got the best comparison. Pop stars and film stars I’d ignore.

I do like Music on tv tool, Jool Holland’s show is the best nowadays, he has a studio circus ring and the different acts play. His own style of music is not my favourite but all the guests are really good. Again you might find him on the BBC website or Utube. We used to have The Old Grey Whistle Test, that was the best in its time, with whispering Bob Harris. Bob really loves his music and it shows, he may still be on Radio somewhere, he’s been at it 40 years now.

We used to have Top of the Pops too which was a charts single rundown show, that was on for 40 years or so. You will have noticed I have not mentioned MTV and their ilk. Because dodgy angles and switching between black an white with too many wannabe presenters detract from the music, and I don’t want overlong ad breaks either. It’s the music I love not the presenters. By the way good luck to Israeli winner of Eurovision, I think it’ll be a huge hit all over the world, Netta reminds me of Bjork’s big sister.

Theme music in films and tv shows are so important too, they add to the drama. We’ve been watching Kdrama lately and Korea seems to know just how to use music, we love their stuff, you can catch loads on Netflix. Hopefully when Kim hands over a list and location of all his Toys the North can have a deluge of great tv. Put a satellite up for tv and mobile phones and let the Kim era end. Hopefully Xi has a satellite ready and Samsung can do the rest.

Cartoons are also a great diversion on tv, and yes Trump has already been in the Simpsons they predicted him to be President after all. And Kim does look like a cartoon character already, so a good cartoon is always nice. Nick Park, no he is English not Korean, his Wrong Trousers and so forth are really good. Perhaps he can conquer North Korea once Kim disarms totally in one go. I’m writing this down because sometimes when I write things down they really happen. So Kim can have the Wrong Trousers, it looks like he goes to the same tailors as Bill Gates, and the North can be a happy place and give up all the parading.

Then it would be on the news and I could heckle from the safety of my chair. Now that really would be tv well worth watching. Did I tell you my wife was in Singapore years ago, so she told me Trump and 10,000 journalists should have a good time. They can still come and visit Birmingham too, I might just be able to squeeze Kim and Trump into my diary, there is a nice Burger King in Martineau Square, they can toss a penny to see who pays.  

A walk with a Clown

A Walk with a Clown ©

By

Michael Casey

I was limping up the street and a local builder smiled hello, so I told him I was practicing my limping before I added don’t get Arthritis. He just looked at me quizzically, probably making a mental note to avoid me and my street in future. That’s the trouble with humour people don’t get the joke all the time. I said to my doctor once maybe 40 years ago that as a child I’d given a doctor a bruise, if a doctor puts a needle in you what will you do. I punched and kicked the doctor, I was 4 at the time.

The doctor I told the story to thought I said HE was on the booze. In actual fact he was, he died of liver problems years later. One of our family used to serve him 2 bottles of whisky every weekend at the posh local off licence. Humour can and will get you, or me in trouble because people don’t listen, they are too busy with their lives to listen to a fool. But at least I can write about it later. I remember making a remark in a meeting once and only Fiona our maths wiz boss got it, so she told the other 30 to think about it, 10 seconds later a second wave of laughter.Or as Tony Cole once said 40 years ago, Michael is on the 3^rd joke.

So there I was walking up the road and my limp left me, maybe my limp did not get the joke either. It’s what happens, it comes and goes and come back again, like a drunk demanding a free pint. Pain comes and goes in other places though, just for fun, or is God punishing me, that’s if you are a fundamentalist, or maybe I should just run for President?

So I see this bright faced young white man in a white shirt with a black backpack. Could he be? Might he just be? Was God punishing me already? A Mormon bearing down on me, I was debating should I put my Italian accent on and say No Parare Inglese, that’s if I’ve spelt that right. Speaking is far easier than writing, maybe that’s what you all read is Speech not Writing. I’m not clever enough to write, so I talk.

So the Mormon strode towards me, maybe he’d thrust something in my hand. Before I could choose which language to deny him in, the cock crowed twice. Or rather somebody honked his horn twice,it was the undertaker, a dear friend of mine. Anyway the Mormon approached and he asked me the way to Amarillo, of course he didn’t this is Birmingham after all. He wanted to know where the Woods were, I sniffed he did not smell of dope, so maybe he just wanted the teddy bears picnic. I am Silverlocks after all.

I told him I thought he was Mormon and that we crucify Mormons on the lawn in my area, we are very welcoming after all. He laughed and replied in posh English the he was from Wales, so I used my two words of Welsh on him and asked could HE pronounce the name of the station Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch

he just smiled nervously,he was not that kind of boy after all. He said he went to University in Wales, I told him if he stayed in Birmingham he could have still drunk Welsh water, as we steal it from the Welsh via a pipeline.

I said did he go Aberystwyth because he could not get into Oxford or Cambridge? He laughed, so I told him my brothers went there, though I was the failure with 15 books on Amazon that nobody buys.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC 

As he was a good Christian he asked for my name, but maybe because he really wanted to get to the Woods, he was just humoring me. So we continued up the road and then I pointed, just like Moses but all I had was an Iceland carrier bag and not a staff. Follow your nose up the hill and you will find your destination, which made me sound like the local soothsayer we have near my house. And with that has rid of me, maybe in the future he’ll be the Prime Minister,if he can survive 5 minutes in the street with me then he can do anything.

I then had a rest on the bench in memory of John Thomas Beddall and together we shared a prayer in the quiet of the churchyard. Eurovision beckons tonight and we must be ready, but at least we have no crucified Mormons cluttering up the lawn.

p.s. let’s see how many people I’ve upset with today’s piece, they may never knock on my door again…

Have I changed much these past 50 years + ?

19/08/2006                          A Shanghai Prayer ©

                                                

                                                  By

                                            Michael Casey

I stood by the fridge, “I give up, you take over, all I want is to be married and perhaps have a family and to do something useful with my life.” The girl I wanted didn’t want me and I’d finally got the picture the night her mum died and she did not want my shoulder to cry on. So I'd stood by the fridge and looking at my dead mum’s photo I made my heart felt plea to the heavens. Desolation and self pity beckoned, but somewhere in Heaven my mum must have heard and twisted somebody’s arm. Mothers have so much power and even more if they are in Heaven with a hot teapot in their hand.

I wrote this in 2006, it actually happened in 1999 , 3 years after my mum  died, dad had nearly died too,and was even given a week to live, but things did not work out that way.          

***********

           Padre Pio and Me ©

                        By

                   Michael Casey

 It’s a contradiction in terms immediately , how can I copyright  a Saint . A brand new saint at that . I first heard of him through some Religious reading I did . I feel embarrassed to admit it , but I am a practising Catholic , its not fashionable to have any Faith but its mine so I admit it . Immediately the prejudice begins , but if I WERE A Jew or a Muslim , it would be the same . I do feel that my catholic tastes have given me a broader outlook on life , as has my  eclectic tastes and rubbing shoulders with a wide variety of people .

But I want to talk about Padre Pio . I had a crisis and was reading about him at the time , so I said my prayers to him and the way forward was revealed . Though Padre Pio always says go Higher , he is just a stepping stone on the way to a better place . What is so hard to understand about Padre Pio  is how he suffered . He had the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune . Condemned by his own superiors , made to be quiet for a decade and so forth . Science Fiction teaches or rather amuses us about Time Travel , but with Padre Pio it really happened , he wanted to share in Christ’s agony so he thought , what if he too could have and suffer the wounds on that day of Crucifixion . So it came to pass that he suffered for 50years . He had the indignity of medical examinations and of being thought just to be a mental patient , but his work and life proved his holiness .

So it’s nearly 1990 and I hear about him and read a few books , it’s hard to understand the value of suffering in this age of quick fix pain killers and the lets have a fix , whatever the fix might be , sex, drugs and rock and roll or whatever . It’s like suddenly studying again after years of lying fallow , the learning curve is enormous . So too is it with Padre Pio , the idea behind his life is enormous , but so too is the capacity for love and help .

My favourite story is how Padre Pio explains that The Wedding Feast at Cana happened because Jesus could not refuse his mother . Very Italian , or Irish or Spanish and so on , but could any of us refuse our mothers?

So I thought more about what Padre Pio said , and his motto of Pray Hope Don’t Worry became my own . Carpe Diem is another good motto but perhaps this can be used by any Hedonist , or other kind of selfish person .Padre Pio reminds us to pray and that pray is not wasted , its perfume that is never wasted is a phrase I like . My mother always used to say that if you couldn’t sleep you should say the Rosary , and she was right . Though in today’s world an hour on the Internet or with MTV might do the trick .

So why the devotion to Padre Pio , I’ll cut to the chase.

My mother died suddenly but peacefully in her sleep , my brother tried CPR , but she was gone . Imagine the angusih amongst her 6 children and her husband of nearly 50 years .

All except me , my mother had said no tears when she go ,so I never cried , I was the odd one out .I know how prayerful she was , so I had no need of tears .

Eight bare weeks later my brother , the same brother heard our dad fall out of bed , so he ran to his bedroom . My brother was facing the exact same situation , he tried CPR , the ambulance was called , an injection was given straight to the heart . On weekends there is a doctor in the ambulance , so Luck , if that’s the word was with us . The next day 4 of my brothers and sisters came around to tell me the news . When my sister had come around 8 weeks previously I knew somebody was dead but I assumed it was my dad , he’s die first we all thought . So now 8 weeks later it was his turn to die .

At the hospital dad was given 1 week to live , I cried like a baby , worse than a baby , but I loved him , so I told him he should go to our mother and not hang on if he didn’t want to . The next day I was in my sister’s house crying , we picked hymns for his funeral .Yet my father survived , 19 patients on a heart ward , 18 died my dad survived . Padre Pio was besieged by my prayers , I put Padre Pio’s photo under his pillow . Dad lost his mind , he was in Dudley Rd for 3months , 12 weeks , more than half of them all tubed up . His life hanging in the balance . At the same time somewhere in Florida another man was at deaths door , he was a totally stranger to me , I didn’t even know his name , I’d never met him , he was give 24hours to live , a Chinese man from Shanghai  was at deaths door . The Chinaman survived .My dad’s memory was totally wiped , he did not know who I was, I’m your son was greeted with , am I married . I was the favourite son , he did not even know me . But still we prayed , it’s a feeling in your guts , just like when you are nearly killed as you cross the road , its in your guts and in your heart , Jesus save my dad , Jesus save my dad , Padre Pio help !!! This goes around your head like a merry go around or a kaleidoscope . Finally dad awoke . He said that he can remember hearing the doctor say to wheel him down to the end of the ward , because he’d be dead soon . At that moment my dad awoke, and the doctor dropped  his cup of tea in shock . No not an instantaneous  miracle , but as Dr Singh had said if he were 30years younger he’d have a heart transplant because dad’s heart was rubbish .

Now , when I told my brother that dad was reading a newspaper he was shocked . His memory had come back . He knew who we all were .Every day for three months I walked the corridor at Dudley Rd , the longest hospital corridor in Europe , 1 kilometre long . Finally he left the hospital , my sister had found a good home for him to live in , he was far too weak to live in the family house .

For 3 years dad survived , like a Godfather with all his children making constant visits . Finally I met my future wife . It was her uncle who had miraculously survived at the same time as my father . It was her uncle who encouraged us in our love . From Shanghai to Birmingham .These great men , her uncle and my father never met , but I know Padre Pio must have  helped both of them . Further prayer was needed to bring me and my wife permanently together . A Chinese miracle happened . Now we are wed , we have a 2year old and please God a healthy second baby in the Autumn . The improbability of our meeting , plus the fact that both men HAD to live for us to be married and have a family , this may be a coincidence to some but I know a miracle when I see one. A miracle is something that makes you feel humble , it makes you know that God has whispered your name . When I look at my wife , I feel humble . Seeing our daughter laugh and play also makes me humble as will our new baby.

Then you can look back and know that prayer is like perfume that can never be wasted  , your life has led you to where you are now , yes at times sad and terrible , but be humble in the sight of God means something , not just for me , but for all Believers .

I once stood by the fridge and said to Padre Pio , I give up , you take over , all I want is to be married , and perhaps have a family , and do something useful with my life . That was just before my eyes were opened to my wife . I used to say that I got 2 out of my 3 wishes . Perhaps my current occupation is my 3^rd wish , or a more outstanding miracle is waiting in the wings , but as Padre Pio  said ,always ask for the big Grace . Perhaps we have to be humble enough to deserve it , because I believe it to be a fact that , truly great people are humble because they know just how little they really know.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC 

To Lose and then to Find

To Lose and then to Find ©

By

Michael Casey (PM)

Its been a strange week, the pain monster comes and goes, I was thinking of putting (PM) behind my name every time I wrote and the pain monster was bad. However it might confuse some of my readers, Michael Casey PM, since when has there been a change in leadership in the UK? We know he dresses in drag, but he has silver hair and the real PM does not, besides he has boring size 10 extra wide shoes. Not those fancy ones she wears.

So I lost that idea and came up with another. Though I did get some praise this week for something I wrote, so that was nice, though the breath of what I write means you can LOVE one thing, then hate another. Writer’s don’t want to be pigeonholed just as actors don’t.

Typecasting kills an actor’s spirit, and if I had to write the same style or genre over and over it would just be so boring for me the writer.

So I’m going to talk about losing and finding tonight, its 10.40pm as I look up at the clock and yes the pain monster has decided to come out to play, it’s so random, up and down and around and around striking anywhere on my body. Like playing battleships but my anatomy instead of a grid reference.

You can lose lots of things. Like your innocence and then realise you were used, or that it was an anticlimax and a waste of your time and dignity. Until years later you find love, and there is a difference in the whole experience. I’m sure philosophy students can discuss it, or girls down the hairdressers, or lads lyingly boasting down the pub.

You lose your ignorance too, you cannot read and once you learn then a whole new world beacons. Lord Jeffrey Archer funds education in prisons I believe, because it’s a lack of education that can lead to crime. What a difference a book can make.

I’m thinking of my mother now, she taught me to read by showing me the cartoons in the Birmingham Evening Mail. So blame them and Chipper for me being a writer of 1,300,000 words and counting. I did read 100s if not 1000s of books before I started writing 30 years ago. I also did listen to BBC Radio4 for 20 years before I ever picked up a pen. So its a 50 year love of words that you get the dubious benefit of.

Other lost and finds, as today is the Ascension, you can lose your Faith and it comes back to you. Though I know for most people in UK there is no Faith to lose in the first place. Faith is a habit that has to be kept going, by attending church or Mosque or Temple you hear words that should inspire and guide you. Providing that the preacher is not a bore. I’ve been watching https://www.churchservices.tv/churches so I’ve seen several different churches and priests all over the country. As well as a lifetime of church going. No I’m far from Holy. I can see a good sermon and a bad one. I invite all of you to watch and see for yourselves. I don’t know do other Faiths have the same facility, you can all google for yourselves.

My point about Faith and Ignorance is that if you don’t get enough information you can be led astray. Some say Church of Scientology is a con, and frankly I’d agree, so by saying this Tom Cruse will never invite me to help out at his chip shop here in Birmingham on the Coventry Road.

So you lose the scales from your eyes but you know the truth now, and you open your own chip shop on the Coventry road. And that’s where you meet a film star who has had her eyes opened too. So she comes to work for you because your chips are so much better than Tom’s and then she marries you. She does make Hollywood films every now and then but, her heart in in Birmingham and the chip shop on the Coventry Road.

Which brings me to food, we all like simple things, such as my writing, or rather chip sandwiches with brown sauce on top. Or bread and butter dipped into cocoa milk and sugar, which was a speciality of mine as a child. Then we lose the attraction of it. We start to go to Michelin Star restaurants, we develop a palate for fancy stuff. We think nothing of paying £100 each for a meal. Well if you are a Politician that is.

However after your quadruple heart bypass, or bankruptcy whichever comes sooner you wish you had stuck to your dunking bread in cocoa milk and sugar in a pint mug. You lose your smugness, your arrogance and return to being a humbler nicer person. It is a growing arc, from naive but happy to arrogant and rich and thinking you a are happy till finally you return back to your roots. Which might also mean that you stoop dyeing your hair and let those grey hairs run riot. As you will have observed from all my photos I always let my silver locks blow in the wind, it’s the answer to everything after all.

So it’s time for bed now its 11.26pm now, I’ve given you all another piece to read, not a story story but a collection of thoughts. However what are we all made up of? We are all a collection of thoughts held together by hope and family. We can be lost but we find our way home, just as all drunks do. If you are lucky you never get lost, but life is a circle they say, and as I always seem to discover I have a SatNav for stories which always brings me to the bottom of the page. I just hope you all enjoyed tonight’s journey. And if you didn’t then they’ll be something different tomorrow or the next day.

Michael Casey (PM)