New Discoveries, Old Memories

New Discoveries, Old Memories ©

By

Michael Casey

Well today the weather is milder, though a storm with a strange name is due tomorrow, the 1^st named storm translates as “ a gift from God”, though many won’t think so on their way to church in the morning. And already I’ve upset the PC crowd, Casey to some is a strange name as well, or am I not allowed to pun on Barron and baron, people need to grow up, and that’s not a pun on his great height at such an early age. People are looking for offence too easily, when they should be looking for fun and friendship.

So I was backing up the family photo collection again, its something worth saving for the kids, even if I am the one mainly taking the photos so I’m not in many of them. People should learn to use a reflection in shop windows, or just accost strangers to take your photo. That way you may even meet your future wife/boyfriend/or cleaner mutually inclusive or exclusive, and you can get dirty together. Also hold the camera or phone to one side so we can see you and not the camera. I have to confess that Fiona my boss and maths wiz once said I was surgically attached to the camera. As I always had a camera in my pocket, this was 25 years ago and more, before everybody had mobiles with camera attached to them. Anybody can take decent photos nowadays, the indecent ones make sure you don’t send to your boss accidentally.

Now to the point, when you look through old photos you may stumble on old snaps you had forgotten about, and then the memories can come flooding back. I’ve done so this weekend, so I’ve forwarded some snaps to my daughters. Holiday snaps are great too, Malta in April 2013 was my last holiday, so memories of me drinking Tusk Lager were nice to see.

And even better to drink, so feel free to send me some. I also discovered a nice photo of me drinking in Hotel Achat Offenbach Germany.

And no I’m not a drunk, On holiday I’ll have a beer, but generally 12 pints a year is my ration. I have too many memories of our alcoholic lodgers as I grew up. I can think of 3 that died directly or indirectly of beer destroying their health. Though Barney drunk and smoked like a fish and lasted till he was 83, he died the day after his Birthday.

When you rummage through your rubbish you discover a lot, I had a clear out when we moved house a year ago, so now I have far less to rummage through. Though went you rummage through dead lodger’s rubbish you can discover lots of things. We had to do this a couple of times, we also had people just bail out and disappear, so we had to tidy up after them. See, the variety of my life gives me wider experience about certain subjects, some subjects I wish I knew nothing about, nothing at all, but as you go on you live and learn and take or share the pain with you.

I’m not just a happy clappy person, I’ve got scars too, in my case literally. If ever I pose naked for you while you get use to your new phone, you’ll see the scars on both legs and on my chest, all the way up and all the way down, and my very hairy left shoulder, where my siblings said the cow pat landed on me, I was born under a cow after all. So I just hope your new phone has that Rhino shatter proof glass. What you think I look and smell like a Rhino? You are all so cruel, CRUEL, I hope you never win an award for your image. I won Uncool Dad of The Year 2015 with Clarks shoes I’ll have you know. And I kept all my clothes on too.

Winning that award, yes I really won that award, I’m not just joking, and don’t throw shoes at me as an insult, well that award was a bright spot in 2015 which was the worse year of my life otherwise, what with my bypass and other events. Though this year 2019, has not had too much joy in it, health etc. At least my appointment to remove this lump, this bulge in my chest poking though my bypass scar came in today. See you have a mental picture of the Elephant Man now, only horror movie fans would want to photograph me naked. They are naked and I am clothed, the obvious joke, please yourselves, Frankie was right.

See Pathos and Comedy combined, though some won’t see it, and never want to see it, or any of it, because they are PC. Samantha will come and photo me, she’s the girl off the radio, an imaginary foil, who comedians were castigated, or was it castrated for, for being saucy to her. Give me HP. Well you’ve had your chips for today, so pass that HP down the table, and don’t give me any sauce, not unless you’ve come for my snaps.