We are expecting a kitten

We are expecting a kitten ©

By Michael Casey

Before Christmas I joked that my girls could have a cat if I had a heart attack, and a dog if I died, I then had an unplanned Triple Heart Bypass. So now they are getting a cat, we will be calling it Totoro, or rather my small daughter who loves all things Totoro has decided to call it Totoro. And all because of God’s sense of humour, and my weak heart, which I didn’t even know about, but God must have, because I’m still alive. Or maybe God just loves cats.

A friend of my big daughter has just had 4 kittens, so 4 loving homes are required. My girls came home with pictures of the cats on their phones, so finally the witch, as my wife is known, agreed to have a cat. I had already given in once I’d come home from hospital, now finally the 2^nd parent had agreed. I picked the spotty cat, so long as it was male, girl cats have no morals, they always have kittens, always out late at night and hanging around on fences, howling and so forth.

It turns out that Totoro is a male cat, so once he is weaned off his mother’s milk he’ll find a new home with us. Totoro is Japanese as all you studio Ghibli  fans will know, but our Totoro will be hearing Chinese and English, so he’ll have to be a bilingual cat.

This morning me and my small daughter went up the road to the shops is search of all things cat. When I grew up we always had a cat at home, Jean was her name, we had her 20 years. She knew when it was Sunday, not because she was a Christian, but because she always had the giblets from the chicken on a Sunday. Or dogs had a good life too, dying and going to dog heaven, as we were a big family so the dog always got something.

Today me and my small daughter went in search of a cat collar and basket. We tried the plastic shop first, so called as it sells all things plastic. I led my small daughter up and down the aisles, it was like an Aladdin’s cave, but without the gold, just lots of plastic items and other such stuff. We spotted baskets in a variety of sizes. We also saw large plastic storage boxes which could be used instead of baskets. Just add a small blanket. There is so much to think about when you are having a kitten, meanwhile a neighbour is due for her baby. I saw her boyfriend bringing in a stack of nappies, just who will be busier?

Pleased that we had discovered where the wicker baskets were we went on to our next port of call, the market. We were lucky as today 31^st March is a Tuesday so the market is open, its old fashioned and closes on Wednesdays. In The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker my comic novel it opens on a Wednesday, early closing, but that’s another story.

So me and my small daughter examined the market, we found the wool section, which Totoro would himself enjoy should he get to visit, it must be kitten heaven all those brightly coloured balls of wool. Going around the corner we discovered a second hand furniture section, it was not there the last time I was in the market. £5 for an office chair, I’ve paid 20 times that for the chairs I sit on while I talk to you all. Though to me they do seem a bit manky, but if £5 is all you have then buy one from our local market.

Turning around another corner we found the pet section, the dog and cat food section. There was a nice cat collar with a bell and reflective too, years ago girls had a thing for fashion, a dog collar it was called, my sister one, but that was 40 years ago. We didn’t buy it, we still had a 3^rd shop to look at. Poundland.

Poundland  has all kinds of everything, but no assistants called Dana, we found 2 cat collars for a pound. Then we bought 2 bottles of disinfectant, to tidy up any accidents. I’ve told both my daughters that they are in charge of all pooh and pee that comes from Totoro. We found scented bags of the litter tray, then there were flea collars too.

We were very happy future kitten parents, so we went to the till, we decided not to buy the 2 collars for a pound, so we discarded them, on a pile of energy drinks. The rest we did buy. Walking back down the road we decided to get the fancier collar from the pet section of the market. Our Totoro would be ringing a bell and stand out in the dark, see we love our kitten so much already.

The weather was so windy today, I had to hold my small daughter to make sure the wind did not blow her away, she would make a perfect kite in her bright red coat. We got home happy and my small daughter told her bigger sister all the kitten preparation news. So it’s just the basket we need to get. It’s almost as exciting as Christmas, and that’s when I made my promise, and we all know what happened next.