I Love Shoes©
By
Michael Casey
Shoes, I just love shoes. Not as much as watches,
but I love shoes, I may write a piece about shoes in the morning. I bought some
in a sale and I only wore them a little bit and the sole was pitted.
So I
returned the shoes and finally got a refund. I won't reveal the name of the bad
shoe company. AS a bit of irony I returned the bad shoes in a GOOD shoe box. In
a Clarks shoe box, telling them with this message that their shoes were rubbish
but Clarks are great.
Once I got my refund I returned to the fold and
bought a new pair of Clarks in the Clarks sale. Clarks are the bees knees. I
have wide feet, size G and Clarks have my width so it’s a no brainer, just buy
Clarks. If you can catch the sales then you are so lucky.
Brown shoes are cheaper that black shoes, so I buy
brown shoes, sounds like a track by the Rolling Stones, or is it Elvis? My dad
always had industrial boots for his job at the steel works. Once in 1974 I
think, cos I was still at school, he had
an accident some red or white hot steel jumped the pit and went into his foot.
The company only wanted to refund him the cost of
one boot, that’s how I remember my dad
telling the tale. I can remember my dad having a walking stick for a
while, and we had to go on the free
school dinners, people felt ashamed about that back in the 1970s.
I have a pair of indestructible Clarks that I only
use in winter, the design I don’t really like, but every winter I dig them out
and they are my winter shoes, more like boots. So if you see me wearing them it’s
better than any weather forecast.
Today’s new shoes from Clarks are so comfortable
they feel like my slippers. And why am I slightly obsessed by shoes? I had to
stand all day for 3 years when I worked in a hotel. It was twelve hour shifts
as well for the first 18 months. Later I worked in a hot, 30 degrees hot law
firm print room, for another 3 years, so shoes matter. As well as my years in
computer rooms running around all night.
Kicking your shoes off is so nice, and putting
your slippers on, bliss, now you are at home and can relax. The Clarks shoe box
has now been slightly rebranded to show C & J Clark were the brothers who
started in all nearly 200 years ago. It’s really posh so whoever did it for
Clarks did a good job.
Children love to wear their mummy’s shoes, it must
be something in children’s DNA, though wearing mummy’s dresses is another thing
entirely. I only did it once, haven’t you ever worn a woman’s dress?
It was a fancy dress party, and we stopped on the
way there to use a cash machine. So me dressed as a woman, with my friend Chris
dress as Big Ears from the books by Enid Blyton. Coming home late at night I
had to sprint back to my house so my neighbours would not think I was a
transvestite, like that comedian.
School shoes are a real pain. My daughter has big
feet, nearly size 7 and she is only 12, but she is tall for her age. But the
school insists on plain shoes, not shiny, no designs, even a tiny motif is
banned. Then school shoes are so expensive, £40, so you have to hunt around the
shops and Internet to find the perfect for school rules shoes.
I think we should sent the head teacher out and
tell her to find the shoes herself. Then there might be a bit of common sense
in the rules. Other than that the school is great, because the ethos is of a
grammar school, and its girls only. Which is great as far as me and the wife
are concerned.
Back to shoes, or rather trainers, why do trainers
always stink? No matter what you do, trainers stink, roses are red, violets are
blue, and trainers always stink. Though I have to confess that in 2nd
year at my grammar school, which is year 8 in the new terminology, I cleared an
entire coach in Romsley, because of my smelly wellies.
Now modern shoes sometimes have antibacterial
coating or spraying or something so they don’t smell. In the days before Odour
Eaters were invented some people used to put talcum powder in their socks.
Which is a good idea, I’ve done it myself.
However as shoes sometime have a design with tiny
holes in the leather, what happens? The talcum powder escapes and you look as
if you are a miller with flour on your shoes, or if you are wearing old shoes
you leave a trail of footprints.
So I always use Odour Eaters. So learn from my
experience.
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