Interviewing Somebody ©
By
Michael Casey
Welcome to Casey’s Company
As you can see we are a friendly company
Would you like a drink before we begin?
Sorry only tea or coffee, no Vodka or lager
At Christmas, then that would be different
But today you are here to be interviewed.
Now why did you apply for a position at Casey’s Company?
Because you liked the 12 weeks holiday a year, but you do do preparation at home.
Because you liked carrying a briefcase, because you liked wearing shiny black shoes and a nice shirt and tie.
Or was it because you liked the idea of being called Sir?
What qualities can YOU bring to the role?
What experience do you have in a similar role?
How would you describe yourself?
Are you self motivated?
Pardon? Can I stop because you want to go and have a wee?
Ok are you ready to resume?
You want to go out and make an emergency phone call to your mum, you forgot to ask her to buy some more toilet paper, and some beef burgers and tomato ketchup.
Anything else?
Ok, lets move on.
So do you enjoy where you are employed at the moment?
You’re not employed at the moment.
You were sacked!
Why?
You were found kissing in the stationary cupboard, and when security searched you, you had 120 red pens and 120 blue pens, and 120 black pens in your nice fake leather briefcase. So you were sacked on the spot. The Police were not called in as the girl you were kissing in the stationary cupboard was the boss's daughter.
But you do have a glowing reference.
Looking at the signature it looks remarkably like YOUR handwriting.
Is there anything more you’d like to add?
You’d like to have the 1st two weeks of August off, as you’ve already booked your holiday, other than that you can start straight away.
Oh, you forgot something, could you be paid weekly and in cash.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
Oh and when will we let you know if you have been successful in your application for the post.
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